Will this EVER end....

[mishkamoo]

DS is 6.5 m.o. Never been the best of sleepers but we were slowly getting there, until now...
The facts! EBF, BLW-started 2-3wks ago, happy healthy bouncing baby. Sleeps in cot in his own room, since about 5m. Can fall asleep on his own for naps most of the time, and can self settle during naps (he usually wakes up after 30mins and then drops off again) and sometimes at night.
He has had a horrid cold for the last 2wks, which finally seems to be going, but obviously he has been waking up more and I think feeling quite rubbish when he does wake. Consequently we have gone from 2 (1 on a really good night) to 3 feeds at night, and is now feeding every 3hrs over night. I try to feed him roughly every 3hrs in the day, but I think he would happily go longer in the day which is VERY frustrating. Sometimes we can settle him at night without feeding, but if it's anywhere near 3 hrs since the last feed, he will not be settled (believe me, I tried for 45 mins last night-sh, pat, rocking, carrying, singing, white noise, the works!) When he does feed he has a good feed and then can go down awake and self settle.
I have read NCSS, but the focus seems to be on self soothing, which I know he can do.
I really don't think I can do CC, and I also think DS is too stubborn (if he can continue to cry for 45mins WITH being constantly comforted!) and I worry about the long term psychological effects. Co-sleeping doen't seem to help-if anything he seems worse.
I'm cutting him some slack at the mo because of his cold, but last night he fed at 7 but then took ages to settle as he was very awake still, woke at 8.30 and was settled by some sh, patting, woke at 9.30 and refused to be settled until I caved at 10.15 and fed him, then still didn't really settle until 11!!
I am on my knees with tiredness-I haven't slept more than 3hrs in a row since he was born.
Is there anything I can do, or do I just have to ride this out? I get so frustrated that we seem to be going backwards, not getting better. He was quite regularly going from 7-1ish, and then til 4 or 5ish, but now I can be up 6 or 7 times a night with him I keep telling myself he will sleep through when he is ready, but I'm starting to feel (stupidly and wrongly I know) that he's taking the piss
He's not teething and it's not a growth spurt!
Help or reassurance deperately needed!!
Sorry for the long, rambling, sleep deprived post

sympathy for you. I have been there.

I remember this thread sometime ago which had some good advice.
Have a browse through whilst you are waiting for others to get back to you.

I have no pearls of wisdom myself (both DD's never slept particularly well).

goo luck.

goo=good (obviously sleep deprivation affecting my spelling now).

I know how hard it is to not feel frustrated, but honestly he isn't doing this on purpose.

You can't know that he isn't teething or having a growth spurt so of course these may be factors.

He will sleep in time. I promise you. In his first year his brain is so busy. He's learning new things all the time and switching off and sleeping is a tough thing to do. Plus, he really does need a lot of fuel for these amazing new things he's learning.

I can tell you what I did at that age but it's only what worked for me. I just fed dd when she wanted it. Honestly, if he can self settle and sleep in his cot then you're already enjoying a couple of things that other parents are desperate to achieve. I always figured that if a feed was what she needed then better I feed her and it's a happy bedtime than I spend an hour trying a lot of things that don't work and end up feeding her anyway. I think at this age I also thought it was important to demonstrate to dd that I was responding to her needs. I didn't want to suddenly start refusing requests for milk and to leave her thinking that something had changed.

I slept whenever I could, day and night and trusted it would pass. It did.

I'm not sure I expressed enough sympathy. I do know how exhausting it is.

It. Will. Get. Better.

oh and at the risk of running on...

It can take a few weeks after a virus for them to feel completely better. The milk is such a comfort to them when they're feeling grotty and when ill they will resort to feeding a lot more. This will slowly revert to normal too.

Hi,
not that it will help you but... you are not alone. I have just posted a plea for help 2 minutes ago... 6 month old wide awake twice a night.
I am bottle feeding and refuse to feed more than once over night but we still have very sleepless nights at the moment. She was pretty good 2 weeks ago, waking only once or even occasionally (very occassionally) sleeping through. But then she was poorly for a few days (when she slept her best) and it has been all down hill since then.
My dd can settle herself during the day as you say but doesnt seem to do it at night anymore!
My plan is to just stick to my guns! I am going to stop bringing her in bed with me because its easier (and she settles immediately) but accept that I am going to have a week or so of very sleepless nights as I listen to her cry and give her every opportunity I can think of to learnto sttle herself at night.
this crusade is due to start on sunday night as we have my stepdaugter staying this weekend and I dont think it will befair on her.
I will keep you informed and please let me know if you have a break though as I too am getting fairly desperate.
Isnt it made worse by the fact that every other baby I know, and I know a lot, has been sleeping through since about 12 weeks. I keep telling myself that it doesnt mean I am doing things all wrong.
good luck

Thanks for all your help!
nicnic oh for those heady nights of only waking twice-I envy you but I know that doesn't make it any better for you! Bear in mind that at least half of the mums you know are probably fibbing!!
showofhands I am holding out for the better sleep once this horrid cold is gone, but I may be being naive hoping it will all magically happen by itself.
My thinking at the moment, is that we are doing everything we can to support him and encourage good sleep, so he will sleep through when he is ready...[hmmm] I am encouraged by the fact that he can self settle, and sleeps well(ish!) in his cot, so I guess we just plod on.
He has just gone down for another nap and grizzled/cried for a couple of minutes before dropping off-I don't want to do CC but maybe I don't give him enough of a chance to settle in the night-worried abot neighbours etc, and is it just me or does the crying at night seem worse?! I guess it's because you just have to lie there and listen to it, whereas in the day you can get on with other things, and I keep thinking, I'll go in in a minute, and then he's asleep before I've finished doing what I'm doing! (does that make me sound really cruel?)
Also, at night, I think if there's any chance he might be hungry, then it's mean to expect him to be able to go back to sleep-or am I just creating a rod for my own back?
I never thought it would be this hard...!

Why don't you think it's a growth spurt? 6 month growth spurt is HUGE! Anyway, on top of that there's all the gross motor stuff which goes on. At 5.5 months in one week, no lies, DS sat up, then pulled up to stand and then was off crawling. He went from waking up twice to feed to waking up every half an hour. After a week it was every hour, then eventually every 2 hours. I'm still waiting for it to stop and he's 26 months. Some are horrendously affected by development be it gross motor, fine motor, speech, etc.

I thought it was a growth spurt, until I went and got him weighed, and he is dropping down off his curve!!
Agree about the motor skills though.

Dropping weight/fat/percentiles is exactly what happens during a growth spurt! A growth spurt is when they put on INCHES, not pounds. It takes a great deal of calories/stored calories to add inches, so the chunk they've put on in between is converted into bone and tissue AND they need to feed more. Anyway, by this age they DO NOT follow a consistent growth curve, it's more like a flight of stairs.