What do you think of my nap plan? (bit of a long one, but please look!)

[WibblyPigRocks]

Right, so I know that a well-rested baby is more likely to sleep at night and that sleep begets sleep. So many lovely MN-ers have helped me deal with lack of sleep over the past few months and things are gradually moving in the right direction.

But I'm desperate to stop BFing, so I need to get DS out of the habit of feeding to sleep (often just sucking rather than really feeding, mind). We've got a carefully thought-out nap routine (story, cuddle, grobag, feed) that ensure he bloody well demands it - damn the routine! - and this means that he refuses to go to sleep in his cot at nap time without boob.

So, in order to break the habit, I thought I'd just get him to sleep however I can (in the car, in his buggy, on DH's shoulder at weekends) for a couple of weeks and then gradually move naps back into the nursery once he's had a few weeks of naps without boob. What do you think? Does this sound possible? Does anyone have experience of this? Do I sound as desperate as I feel?

Disclaimer: I want to give up BFing because I don't want to do it anymore, but I do understand that there's nothing wrong with it, that it's good for my baby, that it's perfectly normal for DS to want this, that DS is in every respect a perfectly normal baby and that it is perfectly normal for him to want comfort from his mummy.

Wibbly does your DS already take a bottle? Could you perhaps offer him a bottle before one of his naps each day to get him used to something different (but the same IYSWIM)...

How old is DS? The younger they are the less entrenched the habit and you may be able to go cold-turkey. If he's still little, (but older than 3/4 months) you could try Pick Up Put Down to help him learn to self-settle for naps.

Trying one nap a day (usually the first morning nap as it's easier to achieve) with a new technique and then doing the next naps in the buggy car for a week or two will ensure he's not getting overtired but allow him time to practice the new nap technique, then you can gradually work on the later naps after that.

Sorry that should read buggy OR car

Sadly, I left introducing a bottle far too late and he's never taken one. He takes some water from a cup and we're trying to get him to take some milk from it too.

He's 10mo, so I guess the habit is fairly entrenched by now, wouldn't you say?

Why is the first nap usually easier to achieve? What do you mean by allowing him to practice the new nap technique? Sorry to fire questions at you!! Thanks for posting.

Sounds like a good plan that's appropriate for his age. (Separation anxiety is common around now so something like him self-settling in his cot would no doubt be a disaster.) Gentle weaning (dropping one feed at a time) is also a good idea to stop you getting mastitis and helping him deal with the emotional aspect (though I do think that's more entrenched with toddlers than infants). I wouldn't be too gung ho about weaning until you're confident he's taking enough formula from the cup, though. Good luck!

Not sure why the first nap is easier, but I've been assured it's the case by various fairly sensible HVs and a couple of sleep experts that I've consulted. And it certainly seems the case with our DD anyway.

By practising, I just mean giving him the chance every day to have a go at settling for a nap in his cot, no matter how short. Then for the remainder of the day's naps, get them in however you can (buggy/car) so he doesn't get overtired.

It will take time to establish any new habits and with a 10 month old it could take a little while, but the longer you leave it I think it only gets harder. Although the separation anxiety thing ches mentioned could make things tricky... I'm no expert here but it may well be worth, like you say, just doing whatever you can to break the existing association with you feeding him to sleep for a week or so, then try bringing in new sleep cues/nap routines/self-settling when this association is broken.