20 months and 3.7years sharing a room, 20 month old given up on sleep help.

[nessy18]

Just to add to the fun have a 16 week old who gets up every couple of hours to fed. 20 month old used to sleep well but over the past couple of weeks is getting worse screaming when going to bed, waking in the night and unable to settle ends up in with us, which she thinks is great, but then wakes every time i have to feed baby. Did controlled crying to settle her last night and it did work, but she was up at 3 and could not put my 3.7 dd though another hour of her screaming as she gets upset by it.Any advice. Sorry if this seems muddled its the lack of sleep!

You poor thing and congrats on new baby, by the way.

Has anything else in 20mo's routine changed recently, eg dropped afternoon sleep, started nursery, started a new activity? Or could it be new more complicated - and remembered - dreams giving her some kind of fear of sleeping or reluctance to go back to sleep in the night-time? When we put ds2 in with ds1 when they were 14mo and 3yr 2mths old, the issue was with how light the room would be: ds1 wanted to have the landing light on and ds2, who had been with us in the dark all his life and a v light sleeper, needed it to be dark. We muddled along with crying from ds1 when he went to bed and now it works fine - light on when ds1 goes to sleep then it goes off.

Are there any issues like that, do you think? Could, of course, just be a bit of insecurity about no longer being the baby of the family and enjoying being in bed with you. Do you have a spare room where dp could sleep and take dd in with him if she wakes up? In that case, it would be less of a "reward" for her to encourage her to do it each night.

Good luck.

Nothing has changed that i can think of. since the night waking she is also refussing to sleep in the day, had been having 2 hours each afternoon but now screams if i mention sleep, i have tried putting her down for a sleep in the day any way but with no luck.
It could be insecrurity but how do i tell? unfortunatly i do not have a spare room.
I will try a light though as the back bedroom that she was in is a little lighter. thanks