Dd 19 mo cried herself to sleep for firsttime feel like worst mother ever

[megcleary]

She has started screaming when I put her down for her nap last two days. Yesterday dh managedto calm her but not today she was up since six and exhausted. Are there still issues with cortisol levels at this age?

Hi, don't be blue it is stage they all go through, we had it with ours and i hated it but there was nothing i could do to calm her either. It seems to only now be when she's over tired, she gets almost hysterical and we really do have to leave her to fall asleep (which is very quick but awful to listen to)

The was i got through it was to cuddle her (if she wasn't thrashing around) tell her we loved her and also told her that she was feeling angry (we have tried to explain the feelings to DD so she can understand what she is experiencing) and be firm but calm to say 'it's bedtime honey you must try to go to sleep, mummy is going to have a bath etc etc' to explain what we are doing and that we won't be back in.

I don't think there is a huge release of cortisol at this age as the episodes are not using that many different emotions (not knowing what they are really) so i wouldn't worry. So they won't tend to linger, young children have the ability to recover much quicker than adults as they don't analyse things as we do after the event - plus their memory stores are not sufficient enough to store these as long term memories so don't worry too much. They learn by behavior consequence so if she is just trying to see what boundaries are there you probably need to be solid and in control to be sure to show her.

HTH xx

ps .... wait till she gets to 2 and 1/2 ! Ours is now in bed alone chatting to herself about the days events and has been since 7pm!

Great to listen to but she really must go to sleep!

Good luck with it all, it is awful but i also think it is a stage that you will have to learn her signs of tiredness a little earlier and get her down then, be firm and stick to your routine, it won't last - ours was only a few weeks on and off and now she's great as long as i explain what i'm doing and give her choices (do you want to go to bed now or in 5 minutes?) Winning choices obviously!

x

Cheers heeby I thought it was just nap time but she did it a bed time too was firm and said sing to teddies but no out that seemed to work

tomorrow is another day............

Hey good luck with today, let me know how you get on. I totally have been there, you feel awful but at the same time you have to give her boundaries, she is old enough to understand how to start trying out her control-mechanism (a toddler's weapon!) so it makes perfect sense to begin to gently show her where her guidelines are of what is ok and what isn't.

Plus we did find that if DD had company or something exciting to do she didn't want to go to bed and would stall for anything .... (can i just have a drink? can i just brush teeth again?) I guess it's all part of learning to interact with their world around them. The control/contrary (but still very cute!) little minx's starts now ....

sigh ..... girls eh who'd have 'em?!!!

well this moring she woke at five.....

we had had just adjusted to getting up at six,dh and i after much discussion had said if she was not too tired today we would let her skip her nap and see how the night went.

but as she woke and was no going back at five she was falling with tiredness at one so popped her down for her nap and after five minutes of crying she went to sleep and is still asleep

I just bloody hate hearing her cry it is not like her but i think it is just asserting independance and just going with the flow but being firm.

thanks for keeping and eye I am so knackered....

Oh dear, that's not good.

I think you are right in what you say and it is probably her starting to work out what she controls and how she fits in etc and maybe some days she won't need a nap.

trouble is waking at 5am is going to be hard for any toddler and no doubt she needed a nap this afternoon.

Maybe when she wakes up take her out for a brisk walk about or play in the park to tire her out for this evening? what time do you start the routine? maybe make it half an hour later to see if that helps?

With our DD if she skips a sleep then she's too tired to eat and gets very upset, then she gets over tired and we have no hope of consolling her. She gets hysterical and it breaks my heart.

I guess try to ride out these testing few days and like you say see how she gets on with each nap/night sleep.

I really do sympathise and understand, we still have the odd bad day but those few weeks were awful and not that long ago for us.

Chat anytime ok xx

Molars?

Maybe molars this mornig was 6 thank god and all the angels and only a little upset at bed time

Am not good at coping with wailing at bed time alsoshe wake up crying every morning now sheused to wake up singing bob the builder

Try some ibuprofen and see if you get your old baby back.