How much sleep does my 3 week old baby need? And WHEN?

[Georgiaplus2]

Help! I have a 3 week old baby and these are my issues and I'd love some advice please!

I'm confused about when I should be putting her down for a sleep?

Why does she cry nearly every time I put her in her cot? If I were to hold her or push the pram, she'd sleep for hours and hours! WHHHHYYY??????

Are my expectations too high?

I'm worried that if I don't always put her in her cot for sleeps that she'll become a bad sleeper and that I'm creating bad habits.

Arrrhhhhh!!!

I just wish I could see what a typical day should look like (regarding her sleeps) but maybe I'm being silly as she's only 3 weeks old??????

Confused!

I think she probably cries when you put her down because she feels insecure. Don't forget that until recently she was constantly warm and folded up tightly in your uterus. Have you tried swaddling her, then giving her a cuddle as she gets dozier and then putting her down? The swaddling helps them feel more cozy.

My DD did always go in her basket for sleeps but it is quite small. In her cot I think she might have felt a bit exposed IYSWIM. You might want to think of ways to make her feel more snug in her bed.

As for when you should put her down, the answer is when she gets tired. Babies are all different; some sleep loads and others do not. I never minded when DD slept in the day but had a bedtime routine from day 1 (bath, rub with some oil, feed in a dark room while swaddled, bed) so that at least she understood that a period of sleep was coming next. Of course, that does not mean that she always went to sleep then (or that she slept for long!). If she cried I would hold her (still in the darkened bedroom) until she settled.

At 3 weeks old you are expecting too much and overthinking it. Babies should sleep a lot at that age, but sadly they usually like to sleep on someone, which means a lot of holding, or carrying them in a sling. It does get easier, but at 3 weeks you have no chance.
She cries everytime you put her down because that's what most babies do.
You aren't giving her bad habits - it's impossible to create bad habits in a newborn. My DS spent the first 2-3 months of life barely sleeping on his own at all, and at 3.5 months was sleeping through, and still is. No bad habits.

I know it feels like you are going insane sometimes but it's normal, and you just have to ride it out. She'll get a routine in her own time and will get easier.

You're right, you're right, you're right! I knew I was overthinking things and I knew I was expecting too much from her at such a young age but I just feel a bit out of control and TIRED!!!!! She's a perfectly healthy baby so I'm just doing to shut up and be grateful to have her!

Thanks!

Brilliant advice so far.

IMO and IME things will be easier if you don't try to control her. She will nap when she is tired and when she is fed, content, comfortable and feels safe. It will vary from day to day and week to week.

Let her set the pattern and you will begin to understand when and how she is likely to sleep so you can plan for it, and still be flexible.

She'll learn slowly and gentle by observing her new world. Eventually she'll understand that trying to play and get your attention at night and when you are tired and grouchy isn't as much fun as doing it during the day. She'll begin to have her long sleeps then because it is less stimulation.

You don't have to do anything to make this happen. It will happen eventually, but it will vary from one baby to the next.

Please don't worry. You can (and many mothers do) go round in stressful circles trying to control and predict and steer something that will happen anyway without the stress. Unless you are a VERY controling person and not having a strict routine stresses you out, just go with the flow, maximise YOUR sleep and enjoy your baby.