Is this separation anxiety or something else?

[fizzpops]

Our DD is nearly one and was sleeping through - since about 10.5 months but enough that we knew it wasn't a fluke iyswim.

She now wakes at least once a night around 2am and will quite happily let us lie her back down without crying. Doesn't cry while we sit next to the cot. Seems as if she is nodding off (too dark to see but breathing is even and arms start to go floppy etc) but as soon as we go to leave the room she starts to cry again. The only thing that makes her go to sleep is a bottle which I thought we had left behind at nighttime. I'm assuming this is a comfort/ routine thing.

She wakes sometimes during the evening which she hasn't done since she was tiny and can be comforted back to sleep. She just generally seems more unsettled and even during the day she is more 'cuddly' and chews on her comfort muslin more than usual. She is definitely not teething.

Any advice or similar experiences? Any suggestions for soothing her quickly would also be gratefully received.

how long has this been happening? It could be a growth spurt as I think there is one around a year (and this kind of unsettled painful phase seems to be teh kind of thing my dd does when growing through a growth phase) also any other change in her routine lately - ie have you or your dp changed your hours/working etc, moved her room etc.

Thanks for your reply. We did wonder about a growth spurt - she seems to be eating like a horse during the day. No other changes to her/ our routine though.

Has only been going on for a couple of weeks.

Perhaps I should be more patient and wait it out.

She sounds hungry to me. Bigger meal in the evening perhaps?

She really struggles eating her tea at about 5pm. She picks at bits and I end up offering her about four different options to make up a proper meal (sandwiches, bits of ham and cheese, soup and yoghurt etc). She then has a 9oz bottle at bedtime which was fine for her up till now.

What is baffling me is she is not crying to be fed but starts crying if we leave the room. So the milk is almost like she needs a routine to help her sleep - which would also be a new thing as she has been settling herself until this stage.

My child is 8, so forgive me if anything I say is dated.

Maybe give her a smaller lunch and a larger dinner? Could also be she gets thirsty too and just likes having you with her when she has a drink. Could you leave a bottle within reach for when she wakes in the night?

My child still regularly wakes me during the night to pass on some fascinating information such as, "I had a bad dream", "I'm thirsty", "I went for a wee" etc. At this stage I don't even wake properly, and wake then up with her asleep beside me. There is however, just the two of us, so its not a problem.

I'm no help at all am I?!

Any ideas gratefully received - like I say I am baffled!

I have been thinking about dropping her afternoon feed which she has at 3 - maybe she just doesn't need it but likes it...? Perhaps I could give her her main meal at teatime instead, but then some days she is at nursery so would have a different routine on those days... so confusing!

Hello

We had the same problem with our DD. When she hit one her sleep went very pear shaped. She would wake up in the night and would not return to sleep unless either DH or I were with her. The number of times I thought she had nodded off and tried to leave the room only to have her cry again.

She is now 15 months and has just started to sleep through again. I think it was a combination of separation anxiety (she was very clingy during this time) and development stuff as she started to walk during this time.

I can only offer sympathy. In the end we just rode it out. I don't think anything we did helped. DH and I spent hours sat by the side of DD's cot waiting for her to go back to sleep. Not much help I am afraid but it will get better.

Nice to know there is light at the end of the tunnel - I think I panic when things change for the worse as if my life will be like this forever! I know that things change again but somehow I forget this at the pertinent moments...

hello, i've just started a similar thread- about my ds who is 14 mnths and also a terrible sleeper- see my thread reading 'When can I introduce a pillow?'- my son sounds exactly like your daughter at about 2am- v restless and seemingly only able to sleep v lightly- and I have never seen a baby/toddler stand up in his cot so quickly nad start to cry (in his grow- bag!) if we try and leave and he is not 100% asleep! we are also reaching the end of our tether and contemplating calling a sleep clinic i have heard of for advice... so i know what you are going thru- and dread the night now!

Thanks, cheese! Last night was interesting as she didn't want to be picked up and would lie down again as soon as I went in to her. As soon as she couldn't hear or see I was there she was sitting up again and so I had to wait by the cot till she was asleep. But it does seem to suggest to me that it is about someone being there more than wanting something eg milk or cuddles. She even started playing with her hands and laughing so wasn't too distressed! Although it did make me think I would be there all night.

She woke at 6.30 when I had expected her to sleep till at least 7 because of her disturbed night and she did lie down again when I went in and told her to but she was up again the moment I left the room so felt it was best to get her up again.

Never mind - at least I know she understands, 'Lie down and go to sleep' even if she doesn't do it!

we had an awful night- he woke at 11pm- settled v quickly, then 1am- and ended up sleeping on dh's lap for 2 hours in the feeding chair in his room, then 4.50 am when he obviously realised he had been put back in his own bed- with another hour on dads lap till 6.... hmmm. i think he probably understands lie down and go to sleep, but he just doesn;t seem able/won't lie down by himself unless we lie him down; yet during the day getting up and down poses no problem.... yawn!

Sounds like you are having a worse time of it than me, my sympathies are with you!