Am so sleep deprived am having palpitations and hallucinating...

[bohemianbint]

DS is nearly 8m. Have co-slept and BF on demand since he was born. Haven't had a decent nights sleep since he was about a month old but the last week or so has been horrific. I think he's teething and he wants to be latched on all night and I just can't take it. However, if I don't feed him all night he will just scream and wake up DS1 (who is 2.8) and then no one will get any sleep and it will be even worse.

DH is good and gets up with the kids in the morning so I can stay in bed but I struggle to stay asleep longer than an extra hour or so and it's not the same as having a night's sleep.

I'm just starting to feel all disorientated and thinking I can see things/people out of my peripheral vision, when actually it's just things hanging on doors for example. I just don't know what I can do to make this better, any advice?

oh bohemianbint, i'm so sorry.
i am clueless on this whole sleep thing but i hope someone comes along with some useful advice soon.

Can you wean him off night feeds? I'm FF so I don't know how that works for BF babies but my DS has a dummy at night which helps get him off/back to sleep. I think it might be time to get him in a cot. I'm all for co-sleeping/attachment parenting but it's seriously affecting your health so it's time to do something! Can you express to give a bottle at night? That way maybe you can make sure he's full before bed and if he does wake up DH can give him a feed.

oh sweetie.

have been where you are....in fact i survived on red bull and coffee for the best part of a year.

i have no answers i'm afraid....how about today, you help your dh to get the kids dressed and let him take them out for a few hours...rest on your bed with a book, or watch tv and if you are able, let yourself nod off.....

does your baby go down to bed in the evening? can you feed and then go straight for a kip? antisocial, but may help you out a bit whoilst the going is tough? also, can you feed whilst lying down? in my experience of bf 3 kids, its an absolute lifesaver....you don't get so much quality sleep, but you are physically resting and can get some good dozing done which can help you get through the day.

huge symathies. have a hug too. ((((())))) x

I would usually say it will get better in time, which it will and I agree with all that you are doing, but if it is starting to make you feel unwell then you need to have a rethink. You are doing amazingly well but if you are hallucinating, it has gone beyond being tired. I have no practical advice other than go and see your HV if she is any good and do whatever you feel comfortable with to change things. The no cry sleep solution and baby whisperer both have bits in them that are good for advice if you want a more child centred approach.

It is normal for your baby to latch on for comfort during teething, but don't let your health and well being be so far down the list of priorities

Sorry if I'm stating the obvious - If he's uncomfortable with teething I would def give him calpol before bed, and maybe some supper as well just in case he is genuinely hungry. That may help him over this difficult patch.

Can anyone take DS1 for you during the day whilst DS2 has his nap? Just thinking you might be able to doze a bit at this point.

Take all the practical help you can with this as I know how it is difficult to think and act rationally when you are as tired as you are. I have been there. Good luck with it.

Thank you all for the replies!

I have been wondering if I can just cut the night feeds after say, 11pm, he surely shouldn't starve, should he? I know that this is not about the feeding though, it's a comfort thing. We gave him teething powders and calpol last night and it worked for a little while but then he was back chasing me across the bed and I'm in fear of my very highly strung DS1 being woken up.

DS2 did go down in his co-sleeper thing about 3 evenings last week which was miraculous, we actually had some child free time together, but that stopped on Weds and we're back to square 1. Unfortunately he won't take a bottle (or drink from a cup goddammit) and when I have tried in desperation to give him a dummy he half chokes on it and won't have it at all!

Tell you what, he is the happiest baby I've ever seen, so from his perspective all this full on attachment stuff has been great. However, I wonder if I shoudl have doen things slightly differently for my own self-preservation?

Might pack up the car and head to my mother's house, see if she will help us out for a day or so. I feel really bad getting DH to take the strain in the day as I know he gets no rest either, although he does significantly better than I do.

THanks again, will see what we can change today.

How frequent are the palpitations? Are they long lasting (ie 30 mins or more?)
You need to report them to your GP just so they can check there's no other underlying cause... though tiredness is what sets off mine too.
I used to have hallucinations with dd- mainly aural- I would hear 'phones and alarm clocks mostly

DD was terrible sleeper... but 8mo is when I sleep trained her- using pick-up, put-down. It worked during the night too- and we got her down to 1 feed per night, so I was at least getting the magic 3 hour sleep blocks (when your body goes into deep sleep so you do recovery) we weren't co-sleeping though, she was in her own cot (had reflux, so needed to be at a steep angle)

Is it possible to give him something to bite on during the night instead of you? something small he can grab himself- eg burp cloth (small oval one, not a muslin- they are thicker and nice to gnaw) or a teether, or blanket edge etc? even a dummy? Or maybe the seam of your pjs as you;re co-sleeping? I did offer dd water from a bottle (hahahahaha) in the night, and she stopped waking for it- meant she just had the one feed around 3am- and I went to bed around 10, so got 2 reasonable blocks of sleep.

A question though... what did you call him in the end? I can CAT you if you don't wish to say in public, no problem.

each - they are fairly intermittent throughout the day. I've had them since I was about 20 on and off in times of stress or lack of sleep, seems its a family thing, my dad and sister have the same thing. I had those aural things with DS1 - he was a bugger and used to stay awake at the top of his lungs so when he did go to sleep you would lie there still hearing it, even though all was quiet. Bloody horrific really, isn't it! It just keeps freakign me out because I think I see figures at the top of the stairs or in doorways, and yesterday I had to nip into next and I felt like I was going to fall over the stairs, it was completely weird!

CAT me - will tell you the name! (If I say here then I would be totally outing myself in real life!)

'Tell you what, he is the happiest baby I've ever seen, so from his perspective all this full on attachment stuff has been great. However, I wonder if I should have done things slightly differently for my own self-preservation?'

You sound as though you are doing a great job, if he is happy then that is really important and you have done the right thing for you at the time and now you need to do what is right for you now. Going to your Mum's is a good idea, a bit of a break can help you through and in the meantime things might settle down. Its amazing at this stage how much can change in a short space of time.

Go with what you want to do though and don't feel bad. Hope things improve for you.

I'm not sure i understand the co-sleeper thing but i don't think at 8 months its too late to change your family life for the better today. you all need to sleep to maintain wellness and happiness and trust me a baby who can sleep well on their own in a cot is the happiest baby in the world. he won't be hungry during the night and doesn't need to still derive comfort from the breast. its really important you start allowing him to find other ways of feeling comforted so he can develop. bin the guilt and start seeing it as an opportunity to give him the best gift in the world- sleeping well without help. all of mine hae had to work out how to enjoy sleeping but they all love it now. don't pick him up when he cries but go in, sshh and stroke his head, going back as often as needed but don't pick him up. he's safe in a cot and will learn to get snuggly there

Oh- I had forgotten that one.. where you can still hear the screaming long after they've finally stopped...
Happy days

Will CAT now...

I totally understand sleep deprivation and I feel terrible for you. I only had my dd to deal with and not an older one as well so you must find it incredibly hard.

Everyone has already suggested the things I would say, especially the no cry sleep solution which we had some success with.

One thing I used to do was go for a float in a sensory deprivation tank every 2 weeks. I'm not very keep on enclosed spaces so I chose a pyrimid style and it took me a few sessions to get used it. It's about £25 for an hour and is meant to be the equivelent of 8 hours sleep. It also got me away from dd for an hour and I always felt wonderful after.