Keep me sane...I know it's my own fault, but...

[turtle23]

DS (12 months) is crying his heart out right now. He was ill two weks ago and I let him sleep with me and was too lazy to put him back in his cot. DH about for a few days so am being strong and doing CC. We've been going for nearly 45 minutes now and I am losing the plot...hold my hand?

DS is screaming too. We're away for Easter at my mum's house. He normally goes to bed happily and perfectly at 6.30pm at home but won't go to sleep here. Have tried everything but now we're just leaving him to cry as we know how tired he is. I know it's awful, but my DS sometimes needs to cry because everything else we do doesn't work.

Try to stay sane. Glass of wine might help?

Oh my, 45 minutes?
You don't think he just needs a cuddle?

I don't think cc means you let them cry for 45 mins. Why don't you go in give him a cuddle and a bit of reasurance and then try to settle him and leave him for say 5/10 minutes maybe and then see how it goes from there? Go in and reassure him again if necessary? Just a suggestion!

has he been crying solidly for 45 mins? That's not right, it's not controlled crying, just crying. You need to start small (5 mins at a time) and go and shush him, then leave, etc. The whole point is that they know you are there. 45 minutes crying is definitely not right, have you checked for wet/dirty bum, wind etc? I have only done CC twice, the first time was baaaad but 2nd time DS went to sleep before the 2nd 5 minutes was up, so I know it was easy (and usually I don't need to as he's a good sleeper).

Sorry that last sentence was wrong, I didn't mean I know CC is easy, I meant for us it was easy but we were lucky I think.

I said controlled crying...not CIO. Of course I've been going in to cuddle him. I waited around here for 10 mins then turned computer off as was too sad. In the end I held his hand til he fell asleep. Argh.

Ummm sorry misread your post!

turn it around. all you are doing is teaching him to get to sleep without you. i don't think controlled crying is a useful phrase as it emphasises the crying. just go back in every 10 minutes and stroke their head and leave straight away. none of mine have slept without 'help' but its just like teaching them to do anything else. don't be sucked in by illness to change the intention of helping them get good rest without you. believe in their right to have this and you can bin the guilt