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Sleep

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Original poster

Feeling paranoid after HV labelled my DS a 'problem sleeper'

25 replies

JoandMax · 09/04/2009 16:13

I saw my HV visitor today to get my DS weighed, 9 months next week. We were just chatting and she asked me about his naps and told me he should just be having one nap a day by now but he has 3, ocassionally 2!

He's never been a great sleeper but goes from 7pm to 6/6.30am more often than not now so that's all ok (apart from when teething he decides to get up at 5am.....). He then has about half hour at 9.30am, half hour at 1pm then will have 15/20 minutes about 4pm or ocassionally nothing at all if he has an hour at lunch but that's not often.

All my friends babies the same age have a short morning nap the same as him but then this lovely long 1.5/2 hour sleep at lunch - I have tried my best to get to sleep longer but it's nigh on impossible, even in the pram or in the car he wakes after half hour.

Personally I have no problem with him doing this but should I be doing more to get him to have a long lunchtime sleep?? Will it cause me problems later on as suggested by HV?

OP posts:

Owlingate · 09/04/2009 16:23

Seriously? He naps in the daytime and sleeps at least 11 hours a night at 9 months and your HV thinks its a problem??

No it will not cause you problems later on - what sort of problems could it cause did she say? Unless your baby is cross & tired and seems to need more sleep then there is no problem at all. Mine has always had funny naps in the daytime (e.g. really long in morning and no afternoon nap, or 3 really short naps when he was a bit younger).

I can honestly say its caused no problems now (17 months) - if I want him to stay awake, e.g. toddler group in morning, then he goes there and has a sleep later. At 9 months he wouldn't do this but at 9 months I didn't bother with toddler group.

PS You may find many people are jealous of your good sleeper

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 09/04/2009 16:26

Your HV is mad.

potplant · 09/04/2009 16:29

The only problem I could see is that as he gets a bit older and is bit more demanding you wont get much of a break during the day - I used to count down the minutes to the big lunchtime nap.

But if you're happy and the baby is happy what is the HV going on about?

Original poster

JoandMax · 09/04/2009 16:36

Thanks everyone, I thought we'd done really well to get where we are as a couple of months ago he was waking 5+ times a night!! She seemed to think the problem is that he isn't capable of sleeping more than half hour which will be a problem when he goes to nursery - I did say well that's 2 years away so plenty of time to change surely but she was adamant that problems start now..... She also said he isn't getting enough sleep overall as it's between 12-13 hours and should be at least 14. But he's perfectly happy and has endless energy so I know that's not an issue.

What is it with HV that they always make you feel crap when you're just starting to feel confident???!!

OP posts:

sweetgrapes · 09/04/2009 16:38

Sleeps all night... what more does she want?
My dd (7yrs) is awake half the night. Now that's a problem sleeper...

Long naps in the day and NOT sleeping at night - that would be a problem. Relax, your DS is sleeping as much as he needs and at all the right times. When he does go to nursery he may be more tired and may sleep more anyway. That's what my ds has started doing.

Original poster

JoandMax · 09/04/2009 16:39

Oh and to Potplant - yes, some days I do feel knackered as the half hour naps don't really allow much time to have a break after chores and tidying. He's quite manic and has been crawling for a few months and now cruises round the furniture and climbs on the sofa etc so I can't really leave him alone! Luckily my DH is billiant so I get lots of time to myself at weekends

OP posts:

potplant · 09/04/2009 16:41

He's obviously capable of sleeping more than half an hour as he goes through the night without waking up. What a loon!

Unless you've got concerns about his weight then stop going to see the HV!

PortAndLemon · 09/04/2009 16:47

One nap at 9 months? Is she mad? Has she ever actually met a baby before? My theory is that she's just pretending to be a HV for a bet...

(Disclaimer: I'm sure there are a few babies who take only one nap at 9 months. But only a few)

Original poster

JoandMax · 09/04/2009 16:47

I shall stay away from now on! Thanks everyone, your comments and a nice big chocolate muffin have made me realise he's a fantastic sleeper and she is a crazy loon

OP posts:

StarlightMcEggzie · 09/04/2009 16:51

Mad HV. Sounds like a great sleeper to me. Perhaps she couldn't think of anything to say, or misunderstood you.

Original poster

JoandMax · 09/04/2009 16:52

I just found out from another girl I know at an activity class that she referred her to the GP to check her baby was normal as she still has one night feed at this age - more confirmation she has no idea!

OP posts:

PortAndLemon · 09/04/2009 16:53

My "bet" theory gathers momentum...

audreyraines · 09/04/2009 16:56

your HV is an idiot. i'm impressed how well your son sleeps at night, and as long as he's relatively happy and doesn't seem tired, who cares if he only takes short naps. it makes him more portable surely so he could just nap on the run. and he's only little, so i'm sure his nap habits will change with time. at some point he will have the ability to stay awake for longer periods, so might drop one nap. i wouldn't worry at all if and until it seems like things aren't actually working. for now, it sounds like a dream. xx

Original poster

JoandMax · 09/04/2009 16:56

PortAndLemon, I think you may be onto something for sure

OP posts:

audreyraines · 09/04/2009 16:58

Port, you're right, my ds dropped to one nap at 12 months, and even that seemed quite early compared to some of his peers.
i still think the HV really is a HV though, honestly i think some of them actually haven't met any babies.

audreyraines · 09/04/2009 17:00

for sure, would be great to get a longer break in the day, but i reckon it would be far worse if you had to get up 3 times a night. i also bet that things will change once he gets running around and really wears himself out. my "problem sleeper" ds has now been asleep for 3 hours, and i'm just about to go and wake him!!

Original poster

JoandMax · 09/04/2009 17:03

Completely agree audrey, having been a zombie for months it's lovely not having to be up in the night and keeping up with him has been great for me too - I've lost the final stone of my pregnancy weight just by chasing him around the house all day so everyones a winner!

OP posts:

PinkTulips · 09/04/2009 17:06

snort... problem sleeper?

my dd was a problem sleeper, she was trying to drop her only 1/2 hour nap at that age

your HV is mad.... ignore!

gardeningmum05 · 09/04/2009 17:12

tell your HV to get stuffed he sleeps for about 12 hours at night at 9 months,thats great!
in my experiiance HV talk out their arses

TheCrackFox · 09/04/2009 17:20

Your HV is twat (she's not called Gina is she )

The only problem I can see is how many Mumsnetters are seething with envy reading your post. I would have chewed my right arm off to have a "problem" like that with DS1 - he didn't sleep through the night until he was 3.5 yrs

ShowOfHands · 09/04/2009 17:25

You absolutely must change his routine now. The hv is right. Impose a new regime on him that isn't of his choosing, force him to nap to your whim immediately. That'll learn him

Oh ffs, I think they just open their mouths and let it fall out.

audreyraines · 09/04/2009 17:36

the thing is, even if it WERE a problem (which clearly it's not), you can't force a child to sleep when they don't want to (as many of us sadly know).

ShowOfHands · 09/04/2009 17:38

DD, 23 months, go to sleep NOW. I tell you, NOW.

She's laughing and singing 'I am a Shape' from the infernal Mr Maker show.

Conclusion? No, you can't force a child to sleep when they don't want to.

Original poster

JoandMax · 09/04/2009 17:42

Ha, love your post ShowOfHands!! Well DS has only had 2 20 minute naps today so according to HV he is abnormal and will be damaged for life but he seems pretty happy pulling all the books off the book shelves and throwing them on the floor laughing hysterically......

OP posts:

ShowOfHands · 09/04/2009 17:48

My dd stopped napping entirely at 13 months old. She is up from 7am till 8.30pm approximately.

Your hv would run screaming if she met us.

Oddly, though, just like your ds, my dd seems perfectly happy.

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