17 month DD night waking - any advice

[Iggleonk]

DD slept through the night from 4 months and then at 10 months is all went pear shaped and since then she wakes at about 2am and cries on and off for an hour and a half. I am at the end of my tether so any advice would be gratefully received.

She has a nap from 12.30 to 2.30 every day then we have a really good bedtime routine - bath, milk, story and in bed by 7.30pm. She has no probs falling asleep at that time of the eve but when she wakes at 2am she just can't seem to get herself back to sleep. FYI she is a really eater so no probs there.

I have tried the Shh Pat method, the standing at the door every 5 / 10 / 15 mins, picking up and cuddling and last night in desperation I just left her to cry which I hated doing but it is the only thing I haven't tried. I feel awful and I really don't feel like I can do that again.

Is she getting too much sleep in the day? going to bed too early or too late? I just don't know. OR is this just what toddlers do and do I just need to grin and bear it? Am I being selfish wanting some sleep?

Lovely Mumsneters please help x

Have you tried a cup/bottle of milk? It's a classic growth spurt age.

Have you tried the wake to sleep method? If she's waking roughly around the same time every night she could be in a habit. Not had to use it my myself but the Baby Whisperer says go in an hour before they usually wake up, stir but don't fully wake them so that they drift easily back off to sleep.. then hopefully this will have broken the routine of waking up when they normally do. After a few nights they should be back on track.

Like i said, i've never used it myself so can't say if it works or not but maybe worth a try??

crikey that sounds crazy waking a sleeping baby!! and HVs advice was NOT to feed milk if she woke as that would start a bad habit.....

After seeing the other thread with about 400 responses about all the DCs that don't sleep I realise I am not alone and have resigned myself to the fact that this is all part of the fun of having DC!

I think the HVs who expound about "habits" either don't have any children of their own or have forgotten what a growth spurt is. Do you make a "habit" of waking up in the night? How do you program yourself to wake up? If it were possible nobody would need an alarm clock. I mean, I wake up every day at 6:30am, but without that alarm I'd sleep until 9am. So yes, the "habit" thing is "advice" from a person who doesn't have to hear your child cry and doesn't have a very tangible grasp of logic or infant development. Sorry, rant about HVs and their ubiquitous terrible advice.

My DS (16 months) sounds exactly, exactly alike, right down to the daytime nap routine, sleeping well at 5 months only for it all to go wrong at 11 months and good early evening routines.

The only thing I've found that works is to pick him up and cuddle him until he's calmed down. Once he's relaxed I can put him down in his cot awake to settle himself back to sleep.

Interestingly, he does sleep much better at night when his daytime nap is 90 mins or shorter. If it goes over 120 mins then the nighttime is a disaster (and he would sleep for 3 hours some days if we let him).

I too can't leave him to cry. Partly because he just gets more and more upset, and partly because the only thing it seems to achieve is me lying in bed feeling guilty listening to him sob, when I could have been back to sleep long ago if I'd just given him a hug. Our nanny tells me that I'm making a rod for my own back by not leaving him to cry, but then she's not the one having to listen to him every night.

See Ches I disagree, I think waking at night is very much 'habit' forming. I myself can get into that type of rut and alot of people who work shifts complain of disrupted sleep patterns. My parents were not 'into' enabling me to sleep solidly when I was a child and I think this has continued through adolesence and adulthood. I am an insomniac.

I cerainly would not want to advise you to do control crying if you are against it in any way but I have found it worked very well with both my kids who are sound sleepers.

...please let's not turn this thread into a cc debate tho'!

MipPieMum - that is very interesting what you say about the daytime nap. I have a feeling the my DD is the same. Going to limit nap to 90 mins and see what happens.

Also don't want to get into cc debate but when she was younger I found it easier to let her cry for longer and that is when she slept better. Now she is a toddler I have found it much harder and have to pick her up and I think that might be the problem.

Last night was a 3am till 4.30am stint but I didn't pick her up just kept checking in on her. Got friends staying this weekend so fingers crossed she sleeps!