One year old twin won't sleep at night...

[annabella73]

Hi everybody.

We have boy/girl twins who will be one in a week's time. My daughter sleeps like a log and always has...she sleeps from 9pm to 8.15am every night. Her brother on the other hand is a NIGHTMARE!

He was born suffering from terrible acid reflux and as a result was a restless, crabby baby. He was in a lot of pain and discomfort until his medical issues were resolved and I think by then some habits were formed. His reflux is now very well controlled by medication and a prescription feed, so it really isn't part of his sleep problem any more.

The first problem I have is that I cannot get the twins to settle after bathtime. We have 2 other children, age 2 and 4, and they've all followed the same routine - bath, story, milk, bed. My 2 and 4 year olds have always slept well, and both go to sleep under their own steam by 7.30pm. The twins won't go to sleep at this point, they just yell and create mayhem - and obviously it's not fair on my oldest two to let them scream the house down for any period of time. It's always about 9pm before they are ready to settle - of course this means we get no adult time in the evening...very frustrating.

When they go off at 9pm, both usually settle really well in their own cots (They have to share a room). Like I said, we don't get a peep out of my daughter until morning (unless her brother wakes her) but my son Ted always wakes at 1.30-3am wanting to feed. The prescription feed he's on is watery and doesn't fill him for long so we were warned to expect this by his consultant. That in itself would be ok. Some nights he's fine and goes back to sleep until morning - but always wakes early between 5.30 and 6am. Other nights, quite often unfortunately, he doesn't properly settle after his feed and wakes several times, cries and fusses - for a long time, and LOUD. What should I be doing? I just can't let him cry it out - he's extremely persistent, and I have three other small children to think about.

Last night he woke at 1am and would not go back to sleep until 4.15am, then he woke for the day at 5.55am. It's horrendous.

What about day time naps? I am getting all sorts of conflicting advice from people. Some are even sugesting I keep him awake all day - that would make life hell for myself and the other kids. At the moment he tends to go up for a nap at about 9.30am for an hour and a half, and again at about 2.30pm for the same length of time. This is the same schedule as his sister - who sleeps.

OK, sorry this is long... My questions are...

1. How many naps should he be having? How long? And at what times?

1. What do I do when he's screaming and shouting at night when I have the other little ones asleep all around? (Another point - the twins hate being separated and neither sleeps well apart)

1. How do I bring forward the twins bedtime to a more reasonable 7.30/8pm?

I would appreciate any help or words of experience/advice. Thanks in advance. x

He should nap as often and long as he wants to. You should do whatever it takes to make sure everyone in the house gets as much sleep as possible, including you. Have you tried co-sleeping? Yes, you should bring forward their bedtime if it's convenient because it's awful not having any time to yourself. I would do 15 minutes a week or 5 minutes every few days. Good luck!

I think they are having their afternoon nap too late - and am wondering if you could do without the am sleep especially as they have only been up 1hr 30 mins before hand.

I would probably do 2 things

Get the "twins" up at 7am - let them eat breakfast / play etc and then put them down for a morning sleep from 9-10 then play, eat lunch and put them down for a sleep from 1230-2.30 then play etc and hopefulyl by having a longer day ie they have gotten up an hour earlier and had an earlier nap in the afternoon they should be tired - what is your evening routine - do you do tea, bath, quiet time bed? or something else I would put them to bed at 7 - what is their crying is it crying down - or crying up?

Then once you have the children in this routine [maybe after 4/6 weeks] I would then drop the morning routine ie get them up at 7 - do a whole morning ; out and about, free play, snack etc then lunch at 12 and put them to bed for their afternoon nap about 12.30/1pm then up by 3 at the latest and then bed by 7pm.

I had to drop in with something !!
Your situation sounds very similiar to ours,ours twins are almost 15 months and are boy/girl with our little girl sleeping like the proverbial baby and our little boy having severe reflux problems from birth still being contained with medication!

Im just gonne write down how our day goes to maybe give you something to try.

Twins wake about 6-6.30am and are given a bottle of milk,they hopefully go back over for an hour or so then are up from 7.30ish.

They get washed,dressed and play then have breakfast about 9.30.They do have scrounge toast and bananas in the meantime from the other kids who are getting ready for school.

Jack usually goes for a sleep for anything from 30 mins to an hour after breakfast Abby plays around him.

They have free play or we go out etc till they have lunch at around 12.30 ,Abby will usually then go down for a sleep 30 mins - hr,Jack will sometimes sleep at this time too but not always.

They then play and we do school runs etc until teatime at 5.30,the finish their tea go for a bath and have supper of porridge and a bottle of milk they are then down in bed for 7.
They both settle easily when they go up but then anytime from about 10ish onwards jack can be fussy throughout the night.This has gotten worse and worse over the last fortnight due to illness and family bereavment meaning their routine wasnt stuck to so i decided last night to get tough and begin sleep training him ,last night went well and once he settled he stayed asleep all night.

The only things i would ask about your little man is does he need the milk during the night or is a habit he has gotten into?

Also look at how much he is eating during the day to see if he is taking in enough to not wake hungrily during the night.
I agree with the previous poster about moving bedtime forward 10 or 15 minutes at a time to a time that suits yourself.

Thanks everyone. I have taken some of those points on board already! I managed to get the twins down for an earlier afternoon nap yesterday so everyone was up by 2.45pm. They were tired later on, so I brought forward our normal bath, milk, bed routine and they went to bed at 8.30 instead of 9pm. Good start. I'll try for a bit earlier tonight.

Twims - My little man gets up between 5 and 6am so he's ready for a nap by 9.30. His sister usually sleeps much later, but today I woke her at 7 as suggested so hopefully they will be on more of a par later in the day.

mimiandme - Wow!!! Your house sounds just like mine. A bit noisy I bet!
The twins are both quite poor eaters so I think Teddy is actually hungry when he wakes. Not only is he fussy about solids, he also has severe cows milk allergy and has neocate formula on prescription, which is watery and not very filling.
His sister has cerebral palsy and part of her problem is difficulty eating due to low muscle tone in her trunk and jaws. She can only eat smooth purees, and dissolvable textured foods such as rich tea biscuits, rice cakes.

Anyway, thanks for the responses and suggestions. I think I'll keep getting them both up by 7, allow a short morning nap, then a decent one after lunch. If I aim to get everybody up by 2.30 then I'm sure over time I can bring their bedtime forward to a more reasonable hour. I can cope with Ted waking up once to feed, as long as he goes straight back to sleep. Thankfully last night he did that.

Thanks again. x