OK, who stole my non-sleeping baby? (Now convinced that they'll sleep when they're ready)

[ChairmumMiaow]

My 14mo DS has been a nightmare sleeper and an awful napper, but recently he's started having 1.5 - 2hr naps, on his own, in his bed (with no need to resettle). Today he fell asleep in his pushchair and I even managed to carry him up to his bed without waking him (he's still sleeping nearly 2hrs later!)

He can be a pain to get to sleep at the moment (we can't find the right bedtime I think) but generally only wakes once for a feed (and he slept through once too!) and sometimes that feed isn't until 5am!

We haven't done anything to make this happen, so I am now convinced that sleep is a developmental milestone. They'll do it when they are ready!

hear hear

oh that's great to hear, thanks chairmum!

i am very glad i know mums of older babies and have mumsnet, gives a bit of perspective and reassures me i'm not doing something 'wrong'

i haven't even bothered trying any sleep things with my lo as i don't believe they would make any difference and to be honest i can't be arsed, it's much more tiring stressing over naps and stuff than it is going with the flow.

my 7mo little one is getting there in her own time. we were in the 2 hourly all night feeding hell and just when i had sheepishly asked someone if i could borrow their NCSS, she surprised me by just stopping, feeding to sleep at a sensible time, and waking just once or twice, and even going back to sleep just with a backrub!
i did absolutely NOTHING

and now, even if it doesn't last, i know that it is possible

Thank you for bringing hope to us downtrodden, bag-eyed masses

babyphat I completely agree about going with the flow. After getting myself stressed today by nap-refusing DS, I decided to take the path of least resistance and laid him down next to me in bed. Result: he slept for 40 minutes while I read my book and ate cake. Why was I so obsessed with settling him in his cot, fgs?

Sleep is developmental imho. You can gently guide them but they will do it in their own time. You do what you can to get you through until then, try not to make bed a battle ground and eat an awful lot of cake.

cyteen- I decided ages ago that naps were important and that he'd get them any way he could, so to start with he'd spend the whole time either in the sling, or latched on. Then I started doing them in my bed and laying him down gently, knowing he'd wake after 45 mins and spend another 45 mins latched on dozing, but knowing it was worth it as he'd be in a better mood.

We did some 'proper' sleep training at 6mo to stop him waking every hour or so (which convinced him to feed better in the day I think) but since then have only done mild stuff, with no crying (or no crying without cuddles at least)

I still feed him to sleep but now he's in a toddler bed (which he seems to love) he's gone from waking after 45 mins and needing to be resettled, to sleeping through to at least 1hr 30. I don't know what to do with myself during that time! We don't do that every day though, as we like to get out and about (so do 2 shorter naps on the move when we do that)

And by leaving his bedtime much later (and fighting through the 5pm grump that makes me think he's tired) he's fed to sleep without a murmur. I'm hoping that this is NOT just a phase

yeah cyteen, i do think there's something in the theory that babies are hard-wired to want closeness. although i didn't expect it before having her, it does seem 'normal' to me now not to fall asleep alone.

i wonder if maybe some babies just adapt more to cots than others, (i know co-sleeping is not everyone's cup of tea though).

plus i find going with the flow gives me a chance to rest, chores are overrated and i only have this year at home for baby cuddles, i'll be doing laundry for the rest of my life...

Chairmum - very glad to "see" you and hear your DS is napping nicely! And in a toddler bed too - how grown up! I've bought a cotbed from a friend of mine and will put DD into it shortly - friend's DD has her big Bed Move Night this weekend so we'll fetch the bed after that and see about moving DD.

On the sleep front, we have one nice long nap of about 2 hours in the middle of the day now, which is WONDERFUL!!! I get so much done!! Similarly, she just started doing it for herself and had absolutely nothing to do with me....

Nights are pretty good too - she's been sleeping through with maybe one wake up between 2 and 4am. And she settles very quickly in the night now.
I'm thinking of ending dummy use though before No. 2 arrives at the end of June. Can't make my mind up. We pretty sure she wakes up wanting her dummy, but she goes back to sleep almost instantly when we go and find it for her. So ideal world is to end that reliance on the dummy so she can settle herself completely before the new baby arrives. But equally I don't want to make a problem for myself where there isn't one.....!

Anyway, glad all is going well with you and hoping the nice long naps are not a phase for you

chairmum- i know this is a bit of a tangent question, and sorry to hijack. Thinking of putting our dd in a toddler bed, she is also just 14months. she is currently in a sidealong crib in our room.
btw i do agree sleep is definatly developmental! our dd has done everything in her own time, with only some mild encouragment from us recently. we just stopped feeding between 10 and 6 and its done wonders! before that we fed every two hours. and at new year she miraculously started going to sleep at a consistant time, ever night at 8pm. she did this totally of her own back. so totally developmental!

sorry meant to say - how did you go about introducing the toddler bed and how did your dd react?

finalfurlong - How did you stop feeding between 10 and 6? Was it hell?

hell for about 3 nights, she screamed for 5 hours first night, we cuddled and offered water, and the next night she only cried for 3 hours, then the next night 1.5 hours. now she only wakes briefly and we pat her and she falls back to sleep without any fuss. it took about 8 days to get her to settle in the night without boobie. by the 4th night she was waking the same amount of times 4 or 5 but falling back to sleep by herself within about 10 mins. worth doing in my opinion! hth