How do you know there's nothing wrong?

[shedragon]

I have a 1 year old,(DD2) who has slept 2 nights since she was born. She was diagnosed with severe reflux, and has been on omeprazole for the past 8 months. She wakes approx every hour, sometimes more frequently. We think it's a good night if she gets 2 hours on the trot. She's walking, getting plenty of fresh air, and seems well up to scratch on developmental milestones. I take her into the bed when I go to bed, seems to make v little difference. When she wakes it does look and sound like she has a pain - stretches her body and arches her back - but what could it be? Paediatrician says she's ok (apart from reflux), but how does he know? Do we know that much about babies?

So how do I know she's ok, and try and tackle this sleep thing. Which btw is appalling, and both DH and I are fed-up and knackered, never mind cranky. And how do you start to teach a 1year old to sleep without leaving them cry?
Sorry for long post but am really needing advice.

I know that reflux babies are often better sleeping at an angle as lying down can aggravate it, which would tie in with what you say about her seeming to be in pain.
have you tried lifting the head end of her cot?

You name it, we've tried it. It really is torture, this sleep thing. A whole year. I feel 70.

Oh poor you shedragon- I have been where you are and I know the exhaustion you describe and it's terrible. It will hopefully give you hope to know that my DS is now 18mo and only wakes twice a night, sometimes sleeping from 7 til 4!!! I know you will know that sounds like nothing short of a miracle.

And the good news is that it all really improved from 1 year on, so there's hope! Here is what I did, some of it may help...

1. Cut out tomatoes and peppers. My DS did not have reflux but there does seem to be some foods that make his tummy gurgle and make him restless at night. Maybe your DD is the same?

2. Gave him a very flat pillow and called it snuggly pillow and talked about it A LOT. Played sleepy time on it, during the day, put teddies to sleep on it. Watched In The Night Garden and pointed out how they all go to sleep on their snuggly pillows. etc etc!

3. Put the radio crackle on as white noise, quite low normally but louder when he's particularly restless. Works a dream unless he's ill (that's how I know!)

4. Taught him to sleep in his cot (having him in bed with us just made everything worse) during day time naps. In fact, always instituted any bed time changes at nap time when I had the energy to see it through. Night time changes always ended in failure as I was so tired I caved in.

5. Removed his sleeping bag. I always thought they were good for active sleepers, but I realised that actually it was pulling down on his shoulders and waking him up. He slept better the night I took it off.

Basically, a lot of talking and looking at people sleeping, teaching him to go to sleep himself on his own pillow, hours of patience and kindness have paid off. I have never left him to cry but I have had some times when he's done a lot of shouting at me because I won't give him what he thinks he needs (milk, rocking etc). Nothing has been a dramatic solution but slowly slowly he just seemed to get the hang of it- he just seemed to kind of grow into sleep, IYSWIM.

Hope that helps. I know it's tough. Hang in there. It can't last forever.

Oh thanx singalong. 7 til 4 does sound like a dream. Actually alot of what you say holds for me. DD can have a v gurgly tummy at times. And i have wondered about the sleeping bag, I did try 1 night to take it off, but she obviously associates sleep with it and I couldn't get her to sleep at all without it. Might try again. Did it take you long to get DS used to no sleeping bag? DD is also worse in the bed. A nightmare in the bed but I keep thinking everyone says it works for them.

She seems a v alert baby, and rarely feeds to sleep. I'd happily feed her to sleep many times a night if it worked. As it is she feeds and THEN I have to put her to sleep. I end up cranky and crabby.
Last night she slept a 90 minute stretch, and then the usual nightmare. Up at 6am for the day. I think people think I'm exaggerating, but I'm only telling it exactly as it is. Mostly I say she sleeps well to avoid odd comments and glances!

Also am starting loads and loads of sleep talk and play! Here's hoping for sleep!
I definitely think her tummy makes her restless at night. Not necessarily reflux, something crampy, will try the tomatoes and peppers thing. But will miss them! How did you pick tomatoes and peppers?

Oh yes, I know all about the lying about how they sleep just to avoid endless comments/ advice! People try to help but I think you don't really know unless you've been there night after night after night.

I chose tomatoes because I read somewhere babies can be sensitive to them. And peppers because my mum said they gave her a dodgy tummy. Oh, and strawberries too, sadly. I eat them all when he's in bed (!) as they were some of his favourite foods and if he sees them he wants them.

Does your DD feed every time she wakes? Another significant turning point for us was when I started to drop DSs night feeds at about 1yo. We just went cold turkey one night, once I knew he understood the word 'finished'. I offered him water instead. The first night he yelled (not crying, just shouting) for about two and a half hours. This sounds terrible but I could tell he was ok really, as he kept having a little rest, closing his eyes, saying 'gone' and then up and shouting again. The next night he moaned for about 5 minutes, the following night he didn't even ask for it. I was amazed!

With the sleeping bag, it's been a bit up and down. I think it took a few nights for it to be easy, he was definitely unsure at first but I got him some pjs with Thomas on and made a really big thing about his sleepy pyjamas and that did the trick. I wrap him in a blanket initially so he feels snug (and put extra layers on him) after a while he kicks the blanket off. At about 1am he gets chilly, wakes and I go in and put a quilt over him which will usually see him through til 4ish, when he stirs and resettles til 5.45 ish. But early starts don't seem so bad when you've had some undisturbed hours!

My DS is very alert too- he never just stirs. He's either asleep or awake and that's it. He will be fast asleep then up and running about 30 seconds later. Everyone who sees him comments on it and I'm sure that's why he used to wake so frequently.

Something else we did was decorate the cot with a 'cot book' which is basically fabric pictures. And put some cuddly toys in it- sleepy panda, sleepy rabbit. You get the gist!

Poor boy, it's surprising he hasn't gone round the twist!!!

what time do you give him the omeprazole? in the mornings? if so switch to evenings as it might not be lasting him for 24 hours and he is old enough to be upright in the day so the reflux should not be to much of a problem then.

Thanx everyone. I don't feed at every waking, cos that'd be about 10 times a night, and she feeds and then expects to be rocked to sleep. Sits up after a feed, and looks at me as if to say, 'c'mon, you know the drill, get up and rock me'. My DH thinks she's more unsettled after feeding, I reluctantly think he's right, must be the reflux, so am only feeding once during the night. Feel a bit guilty tho.

No tomatoes or peppers today, has slept 2 straight hours so far, oops there she goes. Must go. Thanks again.

No need to feel guilty, if it helps her sleep. She'll catch up in the morning if she needs it. Hope it gets better soon, shedragon. Keep plugging away.