Please give me tips/advice/reasurrance.....................or just convince me that it will get better!!

[Jack2601]

I am beginning to dread the evening time... help mumsnetters!! Sorry in advance if this is a rambling post.

DS is coming up to 10 weeks (on Monday), however, he was 7 weeks prem due to pre-eclampsia, so is coming up to 3 weeks corrected.

We haven't been trying a particular routine or anything as I was of the mindset that he was far too little, he was only just over 5lb when we brought him home from SCBU, having been 3lb 9oz at birth. He gets weighed on Tuesday and at last weigh in (just over week ago) was 6lb 8oz. DS is in a 3 to 4 hour pattern with his feeds. We have been trying to establish some kind of bedtime with him, eg. at about 7/8pm depending on his feeds that day we have bathed him and fed him in the nursery with the lights dimmed etc etc. For the first few weeks of having him home that worked great, he went down and stayed pretty settled until he woke for his next feed and so on. At the beginning of the week he had a couple of nights where he woke up for night feeds and refused point blank to settle back down, the first night it was for over 3 hours, the second for about an hour and a half. HOWEVER, he is now completely refusing to settle at his "bedtime". After we have fed him we try to settle him (gentle rocking etc), when it appears he is nodding off we put him in his Moses basket and he perks up and cries, this then goes on for 2/3 hours until he eventually settles.

He is FF (my breast milk was a no-show).
He will take a dummy for a matter of minutes but then spits it out, he's never really been that bothered by it.
We have tried settling him by shushing/patting chest etc, but that doesn't seem to work.

Please give me any advice.............at the minute he doesn't have structured naps during the day as it is only recently that he has been more awake/alert. He tends to stay awake after his mid-morning feed and then conk out for most of the afternoon. Should we be trying to keep him awake more in the day, especially late-afternoon, or does it just sound like something that we are just going to have to ride out?

I am really sorry that this post has gone on and on. Please don't think that I am expecting him to be sleeping through, I know he is far too small for that, I'd just like to know whether there is anything we can do to settle him more in the evening.

Thanks (if you've read this far!!)

I don't really have advice but I didn't want you to feel ignored.
Bump the thread in the morning and see if you get anymore help.

I think you may have to just ride it out though, nothing lasts long.
Sorry if that is not what you want to hear
It's late and I am a bit useless

Bumping pleeeeeeeeeease!! Just had the night from hell. Can I have some real honest opinions about Gina Ford routine - or is that another thread entirely?

the only advice i can offer is routine! i find this essential, as after tea, they know they have a bath,then milk,then bed. i think you just need to percervere,good luck

He's having a growth spurt. Feed him more often. Expect them close together for a while yet.

Thanks for the replies. I did think he was having a growth spurt as babies are meant to at around 3 weeks (which he is corrected). After nearly having a nervous breakdown this morning (and my mum calling round after I ended up crying down the phone at her) I have decided that I am going to try the Gina Ford way, it can't hurt to give it a go. He is big enough now to start the routine. I'm going to do it at the 2-4week old baby stage due to his current weight etc. Wish me luck!!

This is how my boy was.
I had pre eclampsia and he was 3 weeks early but tiny.
He was only 5lbs when we brought him home.
He fed every 2-3 hours day and night till he was about 9lbs. Then got colic

I just put it down to rapid growth and catching up and the fact that he needed this level of feeding to maintain a decent blood sugar.

I exclusively breast fed, so there was only me could see to him. I was a walking corpse.

I eventually relented and at 7 months gave him some formula. This did not improve things at all and he did not sleep through the night till he was nearly 4 years old. He had croup as well frquently.

However, i stuck to a routine from tea time without exception. This routine was my life and soul saver.

I put him to bed at 7, then did a few jobs then went to bed myself.

DH would ive him his late evnening drink, then i would get up at other times as DH had to get up for work.

This has completely put me off haveing another child. He is nearly 6 now. I just could not put myself through it again.

BUT i am now 6 weeks pregnant and will do things quite differently if all goes well this time.

I knwo my story is crappy, and not at all reassuring but i wanted to say that i feel for you and know what it is you are saying and that it does get better...honestly it does.
Can your mum come over and take Lo for a walk in the pram while you get a couple of hours sleep?
BTW you are supremely lucky to have your mum, i had absolutely no one.

deanychip thanks for such an honest reply (and congratulations on your pregnancy). Routine does seem to be the way forward. I think we have a bumpy ride ahead, but I'm going to try.

routine is the key! i have 4 so i do know what i am talking about. tea for the babies at the same time every night, 4pm, then bath straight away, downstairs for a milk, then my 15 month old to bed, by 5pm, then an hour later my 2 year old to bed, up at 7am at the earliest. also because i have the babies in bed early, gives me time with the older 2, homework etc.
honestly, routine is the key

if LO is 3 weeks corrected then maybe just not getting enough sleep. We had a maternity nurse and one thing she made clear is how important sleep is initially, so they shouldn't be up for more than 45 min at a time, and try to put them down within one hour and as soon as they start showing signs of sleepiness. Swaddling also important (tho my baby hated it). Use items of your clothing in basket to soothe baby. Try putting him down on his side (rolled up towel to prop him up) ensure that you aren't doing too many different things and making him overstimulated at sleep time. slow patting like a ticking clock and long shhh sound. Using all of the above helped me to understand what my DD needed to help her sleep. Really focus on getting baby to sleep and feeding every 2 hours if you are feeding according to 3 weeks age. THey need loads of sleep to grow!! HTH. x

sorry see in yr OP that he's 3 hourly - well stick with this rigidly but just make sure you don't keep him awake too long - we did this with DD and realised she was desperately overtired which was why she wouldn't go to sleep at night.