Please help me help my one year old sleep through the night!

[robberbutton]

I've spent a while browsing these threads but couldn't find my exact situation so thought I would ask

DD (just turned 1) has NEVER slept through the night - she has always woken at least once or twice for feeds (on a good night!). So far it hasn't been too much of a problem - I'm a SAHM so don't need to worry about being too coherant during the day! However, I've just found out I'm pregnant again (12 weeks) and think that if I don't get some good periods of sleep soon I'm going to really struggle.

I've no experience of training a baby to sleep well - DS (3.6) somehow managed to go through himself from 5 months (we were totally spoiled with that one ). I don't think there's a nourishment need now as she's on 3 meals a day (plus snacks) with bfs first and last thing. I understand there's a comfort need, but I've got to balance that with my need to function!

There's a small problem in that DS and DD share a room, so controlled crying isn't ideal (and I don't 100% love the idea of that anyway), but if the general mumsnet consensus is that's the way to go, we'll work something out!

Sorry for long post, will sit back and await solutions to all my problems!

I thought this might be of interest to you. I found it posted on a different thread.

"DS used to wake and feed back to sleep quite a lot during the night. I always fed him to sleep but I found that if I watched him and detached him when he was just starting to drift off he would fall asleep without having to suck on me! Sometimes he did wake up right away and look for milk again and I would let him have it and then do the same again. Gradually he started to just feed when we first got into bed and then he would roll off me and go to sleep by himself with me just cuddling/patting/stroking him. This meant when he woke during the night I could just pat/stroke/cuddle him and he would fall back asleep by himself without latching on - unless he was genuinely hungry/thirsty. Maybe you can try that? It doesn't involve any crying or a stressed out/worried/upset mummy!"

Here's another one:

"By lou031205 on Fri 02-Jan-09 20:01:07
Papaya, I have one!

When DD was 10 months, I had the same issue. I finally decided that enough was enough.

I chose a day when I felt strong, and stopped night feeds. BUT I have a bedside cot, so I put the cot side down, and every time she looked for comfort by feeding, I made sure the duvet was covering my boobs, and then gave her a big cuddle. I told her she was a big girl now, and that she could do it. At first she cried a little, but she soon realised that she wasn't going to get more than a cuddle. I cuddled her to sleep instead.

6 months on, we have finally got to the stage where she can be put in her cot awake, and she settles herself to sleep.

She has never been left to cry, and she has never had to 'get over it', but by gradually moving from breastfeeding, to cuddling, to holding hands next to her, to holding hands through the bars of the cot (long stage...) to lying on the bed next to the cot but not touching her, we have taught her that she can settle herself to sleep.

The method we used is a bit of a cobbled version of the Dr Jay Gordon method and the No Cry Sleep Solution, with a bit of the baby whisperer thrown in for good measure.

I don't think it is too young at 10 months, IF you are confident that he is not waking because he is hungry - ie. 2 min feeds every 2 hours.

I didn't try sleep training with DD1 until she was 2 because she genuinely seemed to need a cup of milk in the night. She didn't want attention, just milk. When we finally decided to crack down, she had already decided that she didn't need it anyway and had started sleeping through.

With DD2, I knew that she was waking just for the enjoyment of latching on for 2 minutes. So I made changes for my good."

My advice is to nightwean before she starts with the molars and with the asking to nurse with a word (or full sentence). Send in DH with EBM/milk/water if necessary, and consider cosleeping with DH or on the floor in your room if waking your DS is a problem.

Thanks nappyaddict and ches. I think it's a good point about being strong, because of course the path of least resistance is to feed her back to sleep.

But I had a really bad night last night - threw up for an hour between 1-2am, and DD woke up to feed twice in that time. The first time DH settled her with some milk from a cup, and I thought 'we've cracked it!' (ha!). Then she woke up again a few minutes later and when DH tried again she got nearly hysterical. So I was sitting on the floor of the bathroom feeding her and thinking - this is not a high point!

A couple of weeks ago I tried cutting down the amount of time feeding - I was going to do 5 mins a side, then the next night 4, etc etc and see if that helped. I didn't keep up with it though as she got a temperature with a really bad cold, and went through a bout of teething so thought I should just give her whatever she needs. I will have a think through all the suggestions and make a new plan.

Thanks

OK, so we started last night, with a really basic plan - send in DH with water, just in case DD really was thirsty. She wouldn't see me at all. After water, DH would try a form of CC to get her to settle.

What happened: DD went to bed around 7:45pm and woke up at 12:30am, and had hysterics when offered water. DH comes back to bed ready to give up after 5 mins (bless him!). In the end we scrapped the CC and he just patted and sushed and sung her back to sleep. He would leave her for a couple of minutes at a time and go and sit or lie down to give his back a rest from bending over the cot, but never for longer than that. She eventally dropped off to sleep again at 1:30am.

She woke up again at 4:30ish am and we (he!) did exactly the same thing. It took 45mins to settle her this time with the same sushing, patting, singing etc. So she dropped off at 5:15am.

She woke up again only 30 mins later at 5:45am, but by that time I thought it wasn't too bad for getting up as both my kids are quite early risers, so I went in to get her and gave her a feed. DH was worried that she would hate him but she was full of smiles and giggles and was super cute as usual.

So, for the first time in over a year I didn't feed her in the night!

Hopefully we're not doing the wrong thing by DH singing her back to sleep - when he came back to bed I heard her wimpering very quietly for a few minutes, so I think she is dropping off on her own.

Also, DS (3) has just got chicken pox, so if DD gets it this all might go to pot! But am pleased with how it went on Night 1

You did well and am glad that you ditched the CC

Thanks nappyaddict. I wasn't totally on board with CC anyway, but its hard not to be swayed by all the 'success stories' out there. Fingers crossed for tonight!