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I've sodded it up

1 reply

MrsHD · 14/03/2009 21:42

I'm feeling very angry, not sure whether with myself or DS - which is totally unfair I know.

Ds is 2 1/2 months, and til now has been falling asleep for his first long stretch of the evening lying cuddled on one of us. It wasn't intentional but just happened that way from when he was newborn. It began to settle itself into a pattern whereby he had a bath and massage 6.30-7pm, come downstairs and feed and often have a half hour doze somewhere between 7-8pm. Then by 9.30pm after some cluster feeding he was usually out for the count for anything from three hours upwards, with his personal best being 7 hours.

In the last 10 days or so he's foregone the early evening half hour and zapped out about 8/8.30 for the night (well part of it!). Last night at 8.30pm I took him upstairs awake as it was so noisy with Comic Relief on and the other three children prancing about. I sat with him til he fell asleep which took just over half an hour with hardly any crying at all. The night wasn't the best, but I felt we'd got a nice setup at bedtime.

Tonight suffice to say it's gone gloriously tits up. The problem is twofold: I can never be sure he's had enough milk (BF) as he's massive, feeds constantly (I'm developing a hatred of breastfeeding, seriously) and roots for Britain; and he falls asleep so deeply at the boob that I can't wake him but then 10 mins later he's awake again and shouting for more, so putting him down awake is almost impossible (last night was a major fluke) and gauging when he's 'really' asleep is very difficult and the whole thing is incredibly frustrating.

As I type he's sitting with DH, at 9.40pm, by when every other night for weeks he's been asleep, so by trying this new bedtime setup I've completely cocked up something that worked well. I'm not keen on leaving him to cry on his own in his cot as apart from it feeling wrong, I don't want him getting worried about his cot as he naps well in it and usually sleeps well between feeds at night.

Any ideas for how I can judge when he's had enough for the evening, as falling asleep is no indicator? Would you bother trying to find the right moment to take him up to bed? At the moment the one benefit of having him falling asleep on us is that at least then we know he really has gone and can be transferred to his cot.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
peggotty · 14/03/2009 21:51

I would just let him fall asleep on you. Don't get yourself wound up at this stage about establishing a routine, he's really young. And really really don't worry about putting him down to sleep awake yet. I know how frustrating and difficult it is when they just feed and feed all evening, ds did this at your ds's age, he would literally feed for hours and hours. Eventually I didn't even bother trying to get him into his moses basket until he's been at the boob for a minimum of 2 hours!!! I don't know how I did it, looking back. Except that I just accepted that was how it was going to be and eventually the cluster feeding petered out, and he slowly developed a bedtime routine at maybe 5 months or so.

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