I'm getting worried about myself...

[Skimty]

Basically I have two children who are quite poor sleepers (DD 5 months and DS 2.6) and recently they have been suffering from d+v but before that they were up and down quite a lot at night.

Basically, last night went like this:

7pm DS asleep
9pm DD finally asleep.
11.15 DD awake, fed, asleep by 11.45
1.15 DD awake - coughing fit that lasted until 4am
3.30 DS awake and hysterical - back to sleep in ten mins
5.30 DD awake, fed, asleep by 6.00
6.14 DS awake.

That was bad but I count it as lucky if I get 2 hours sleep in a row and 5 hours sleep over the night. This has been going on since just before Christmas.

DD is clingy and EBF so it's difficult to leave her. She doesn't take a bottle. She only sleep for 30 mins at a time int the day. DS doesn't nap and usually wakes earlier than 6 but he's been ill. It's a good night if he wakes once. If DH tries to go to him then he screams until I go in when he calms down straight away.

Basically I'm starting to get really dizzy and teary with a thumping headache all the time. I also feel really queady but can't stop eating rubbish so I'm putting on lots of weight, I forget everything, I'm shouting at the children, I'm just dumping them in front of the television so I can get a cup of tea, I don't dare drive any more.

I don't know what to do. I don't think anybody really undertsnds how tired I am. I was already tired before DD was born from DS and his poor sleeping. I started labour once before she came but didn't progress. The Midwife said I was probably too exhausted.

I don't really know what I'm asking for. I just try to be happy and positive. I try to do good activities with the children, park, gymboree, swimming, wood walks etc. I think I'm so lucky to have such beautiful children. I don't really like to complain in real life because I think it's boring for other people.

So sorry you are having such a hard time, it sounds terrible.

You need help, at least to get one night's sleep, or some better sleep. Could you go away for a night, maybe with DD? Then you only would have her sleep to contend with, and DH can try and manage DS on his own?

Have you tried everything to get DD to take a bottle? Different kinds of bottles, different people feeding etc?

You poor thing, I have no cure all advice, just wanted to offer a supportive post. You sound exhausted.

For now I would maybe drop the activities for a week until you get some rest, you sound desperatley in need of some sleep and I think untill you get some it will be hard to think clearly.

Can you sleep in the day? Can your dp/dh/mum/friend look after dc for one night while you put earplugs in and sleep and dh just passes dd to you to feed?

Thanks.

I made it to midday when DS went to preschool and have just forced DD to nap for longer by stuffing my nipple in her mouth every time she moved!! I slept too and I'm feeling a bit better.

I do feel better for venting a bit. It's strange, I'm so worried about being seen to be not coping because I'm not really that I go into overdrive. I can't ask fo help because then I'm really scared people will see how bad it is.

Anyway, thanks. I'm off to coo at DD

Skimty, been thinking of you today, I have no experience of juggling two dc but you sound knacered and I really think you should swallow your pride and ask for help.

Do you have family, mum/ friend you could ask to help just while you catch up on some sleep?

Sounds like your going to wear yourself out, there realy is no shame in needing a bit of help now and again.

Hi Skimty, why are you worried people will see how bad it is? You obviously ARE coping, so you shouldn't have fears about that. But you do need to let people know how hard it is. You will probably be surprised how much people want to help and they WON'T think less of you for it.

Thanks again.

I'm feeling a bit better today.DH went into work late today and took DS to preschool so i could mooch in my pjjamas.

My Mum is coming for the weekend so maybe that will help. I think that lots of people thought I wouldn't cope IYSWIM so I want to prove them wrong and I'm not the sort of person who can take things easy.

My NCT friends and any mum friends i meet are all older than me - I'm 27. I went to Oxford and was on a prestigous training scheme when I got pregnant. None of my pre-baby friends have had children and i think they all think I'm a bit mad.

My Mum didn't think i should have another baby until DS was 4 because i wouldn't cope. I really wany another baby but DH doesn't so i don't want him to think i can' cope.

The thing is I am coping I know. Reading over my posts it seems as if I'm pushing myself too hard but i don't know how to stop. Maybe i should repost somewhere else!!

Just try and cut yourself a bit of slack, and let your mum help you out. Glad things seem a bit better today.

FWIW, I am very impressed you are doing so much!

Thanks again.

I've had a really nice mooching day today. My spare bed came so we cna move DD out of our room and into her own and I can sleep in there.

Only 10 days till weaning as well which takes a bit more pressure off me!

I have twins who also wake up a lot! My only advice is to try to get the important stuff done, like making sure you are all fed and basically clothed, and try not to aim for perfection in everything. Get a lie in with babies/toddlers crawling over you or just lying around as often as they'll let you! Never, ever iron. And have some pyjama days when you don't even bother to get dressed. Don't worry about your children watching a bit of TV...you need that cup of tea, you know!

If someone else can look after your children for a few hours, a couple of days a week, try and get some rest on your own too.

I've been through some times when I've utterly exhausted myself in trying to do too much, and it makes everyone unhappy (especially me!) so I totally understand. If someone else can look after your children for a few hours, a couple of days a week, try and get some rest on your own too.

I think you should definitely cut yourself some slack, if you weren't coping that would be totally understandable given the circumstances. Sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture, they wouldn't do it if it wasn't horrendous!

FWIW I think you are doing amazingly. I am 26 and I have a 6m/o and she is slowly killing me with her night wakings, it's been atrocious since before Xmas and sometimes I wonder how I don't fall asleep when I'm walking I am that tired, but believe me I am getting more than you are!

You are doing brilliantly, you clearly are coping and that's even with you making it harder for yourself than you need to! Take it easy for a couple of days, your children won't notice nor care, you need to give yourself some time to chill out and recharge your batteries.