9 month old distressed in night

[lovelymama]

9 month old DS has been doing really well with sleep recently - regularly doing 6.30pm-7am or just waking once in the night and settling easily if I gave him 3oz milk. For the last 4 nights he has been HORRIBLE! He is waking a midnight, although last night it was 10.30pm and he is so hard to settle. I try to comfort him and cuddle him but he wants nothing to do with me - fights me, throws himself out of my arms etc (he is a very big boy and embarrassingly, he's actually stronger than me!). He will instantly calm down with DP but then wants to sleep on DP all night but wriggles around and cries in his sleep. DP is very supportive of me but has demanding job and he can't go to work having had no sleep. I have no problem doing CC but we tried this when DS was going through a horrible sleep period at 6 months and it didn't really work for our very stubborn baby. When he cried at 10.30 last night, we left him to cry for 45 mins rather than going to him as we had done for the last 3 nights as he didn't sound very distressed - it was more like tired crying. However after 45 mins I didn't believe that he would self settle and we went and got him only to have a very unsettled night of co-sleeping.

I'm a regular mumsnetter so I know all the usual explanations of development affecting sleep but I'm just wondering if anyone else has had a sleep problem that suddenly hit them after a period of good sleep. What did you do about it? Or is it one of those bloody horrible things that you just have to ride out and it eventually gets better?

Got 8-12 month check with HV today and know if I mention it to her she's gonna give me the usual line of 'you've got to do CC'. Grrrrrrr!!

Nine months is notorious for sleep regression. Try googling it! I know it's terrible to go through it. My DS was a fab sleeper on and off and he went through a horrendous stage from 7 months onwards of good and then bad sleep. He's a bit like your DS, hates being comforted and gets even more upset when I cuddle him. We didn't do anything as such, I tried to ride it out and not get stressed about it. It was tough especially when about 11 months old, he decided 5am was a good wake-up time!

He just turned one and in the last week, he has slept beautifully (with the odd blip here and there) from 7pm-6.30/7am and not a peep out of him all night. I have to say I honestly believe he was at the right age to sleep through like that. His sleep just seems to be deeper and if he does stir, he self-settles very quickly. But here are some things we did that seemed to have contributed:

• Moved him into his own room, which we were worried about being too cold but in fact, if we wrap him up, he seems a lot cosier and sleeps better in the cooler temperature (we do have a heater in there to ensure it doesn't drop below a certain point though)

• His room has a blackout blind.

• If he does wake, I don't bother picking him up anymore as it seems to upset him more. I just pat his bum through the cot rails and that seems to re-assure him that we are there.

From his constant wriggling while he's in bed with your DH, I am guessing he actually doesn't like co-sleeping but wants the comfort. We tried taking DS into bed with us and he never really liked it much. He will tolerate an hour (if he gets up early) of laying in with us but that's it really. My DS is very stubborn too so I never ventured down the CC route in the firm belief that he will sleep through when he is ready and I am glad I didn't!

Thanks Angel. Nice to know someone has been through it and come out the other side. DS has been in his own room since 5 weeks old (yes, wrong I know) and loves his cot. Also has a cold room but is wrapped up. Room is v dark due to blind....but will try the patting of bum as picking him up is just making him so mad

I make that mistake everytime... I go and pick him up and he screams blue murder! I put him down, turn him on his side and pat him on his bum and he calms down. Also, I gave DS a pillow. It took him a few weeks to get to grips with it i.e. he was still sleeping all over the cot. But now his head usually firmly rests on the pillow most of the night. I do think the pillow has helped his sleep as well... Good luck!

ooooh like the pillow idea. what age can we give them a pillow? i think i heard 12 months but not sure....

From 12 months... I gave it to DS at 11 months but we've always had a movement monitor so I didn't worry too much about suffocation. You can get cot pillows from TK Maxx for about £7 or Ikea does them as well. Don't think they are any special from normal pillow other than being slightly smaller, flatter and also anti-allergy... DS definitely sleeps 'differently' now: before pillow, he was mostly on his front and now with pillow, he is mostly on his side so not sure if that has helped in him sleeping better but I think it has! He just doesn't seem to wiggle so much now...