Life without the dummy is hard!!

[billyog]

My dd is 3mths. We offered her a dummy a few times but she just spat it out, which is good (or is it?) How on earth do you get your children to sleep without one? My ds loves his (so much so he still indulges in one at night , which is why I was quite happy when dd refused it. I usually feed dd to sleep but then she wakes half hour later. I rock her back to sleep but the minute i put her down she starts crying again.After doing that a few times I put her back on the boob and she has a wee drink, minute or two , then falls asleep in my arms so I try and put her down and ... you guessd it. Then she's not that interested in her next feed so we're kind of on a 'one boob every 2 hours' routine at the moment. When ds cryed we just went up and popped the dummy back in and bobs your uncle. With dd we can be up for over an hour trying to get her back to sleep. A friend suggested not lifting her but just stroking her which we've tried but I'm crap and end up picking her up. She's kinda finding her fingers, she still is very young, maybe she'll get better at that?? What does every body else do? I'm finding it hard, its not fair on ds when i'm spending so much time trying to get dd to sleep. (come back dummy, all is forgiven).

Do you use a cot mobile or lightshow type thing? I found they over stimulated DS too much and he would only ever half drop of with them and would wake up again really easily. I found playing a CD of nature, wave and rain sounds was much more calming and helped him get into a much deeper sleep. When he was older I attached it to his cot and taught him how to press play if he woke up in the night.

Does she have a comforter? The best way to make a comforter is to stuff a muslin down your bra for a few hours so it gets your smell on it and you could also spray it with your perfume if you usually wear it. The bonus of them having a muslin as a comforter is they are easily replaced if they get lost.

Have you got blackout blind and blackout curtains. You really need to use both cos if you only use one light still gets in round the edges. Once DS was 3/4 months I found it being light when he went to bed hindered him getting off to sleep quickly.

Also does she have a nightlight? You can get ones which fade out over time. Some babies find it reassuring to have just a slight glow of light so they can just about see things when going off to sleep.

Rather than feeding to sleep feed until drowsy and virtually asleep but still a little bit awake IYSWIM. ATM the only way she knows how to get to sleep is by feeding. Most people including babies do wake up a few times in the night but eventually we learn to roll over and go back to sleep on our own. ATM she doesn't know how to do this and has to cry for a feed. By making sure she is still a little bit awake when she goes down it will help her learn how to do this.

You said you've tried stroking - what about patting, shushing, gently talking or singing to her?

are you swaddling her tight tight tight?

I was swaddling her but have stopped, i thought she was too big for swaddling?? I do have a night light, no music or light show.
The room is blacked out. I'ii try the muslin thing this evening. Thanks guys, I'ii keep trying. Its just so stressful when your up stairs trying to get her to have a nap cause she's knackered and ds is down stairs wrecking the joint or watching cbeebies, again!

Gosh no! DS was swaddled until 14/15 months!

i'm still swaddling dd2 at 6 mos, it's our signal for 'mummy means business, now go to SLEEP'.

Oh right! Do you fully swaddle, arms and all?
I have one of those swaddle blankets with the velcro tabs. I used that for the first couple of months and she slept like a dream but then I got her a sleeping bag, and come tho think of, thats when the troubled started. I just assumed swaddling was for newborns, reminding them of the womb etc.

oh yes. tuck right arm down their side, tuck blanket under left side, then wrap round, tucking in left arm as well. tight tight tight.

means they can't wake themselves up by getting a fright off their hands, the little idiots.

Right, I'ii wrap her up tight as a drum tonight.

ds is 4 months and still swaddled - sometimes he gets frustrated and I don't swaddle and he falls asleep happily, also with him finding his fingers, I sometimes loosen the swaddle once he's asleep so if he wakes he can self-soothe

Once DS started being able to get out of the swaddle then I just did it under his arms but until then he had a full swaddle well past being newborn.