I'm losing the plot ... my 2 yr old still won't sleep through and now has night tantrums!

[manicmama]

My DS3 (who is 23 months) wakes up every night and has full on tantrums. He screams his head off, sometimes starts head butting things and throwing his toys about and generally having a total rage. If I go into see him he asks for (a) milk or (b) go downstairs and play. I offer him milk and tell him it is bedtime.

I have tried leaving him cry but he won't settle. I have tried going in, no eye contact or talking and putting him back to bed. I have tried taking him into bed with me which he hates. I have tried putting him in with his brothers as well but this hasn't helped either so he is now back in his own room.

He has been a terrible sleeper from the beginning and I am going bananas. There must be something I am doing wrong!

Help !?!

is there a pattern in his waking? what time does he go to bed?

He goes to bed at 7.30pm and gets up around 6.30am. He has a nap for an hour in the day and is generally happy. He wakes up at any time between 11pm and 1pm most nights and will stay awake for up to 2 hours

i found i had to take nap away completely and i had to move bed to 8 pm with a slice of toast before bed as it helped settle him for longer with some warm milk my ds used to wake every hour and this stopped when i added toast at bedtime

i ave no miracle cures though as my ds sleeps in my room most nights but my ds does have ASD

but when he was younger the nap had to go as he wasn't tired enough to stay asleep at bed time

and the toast was another tip from another mn that just seemed to work for some reason so we still do it now he is 3.10

the waking is good in the morning but considering he wakes in the night its not so good

it genuinely sounds like his not tired enough to stay asleep another crazy tip star jumps before bed to tire out slice of toast warm milk you may find if you do manage to get him to sleep through he may wake at 5 as this is the required amount of sleep needed for there age from 7.30

maybe take to bed at 7.30 get him to choose story read the story and settle him down could he be too hot when he wakes? doe she have night light and cup of water if needed as my ds was always thirsty so left water where he knew he could reach it and save him disturbing us for a drink and he learnt to settle back down again

i hope something works for you i know its so tiring you sound like your doing the right thing

also is ther ea quiet toy he could play with in bed if he does wake i found my ds liked his v tech story book and he used to settle back down once he'd had enough

Thanks so much for your suggestions bubblagirl.

I will try:

(a) a slightly later bedtime
(b) the toast before bed and also
(c) cutting out the nap. So far I haven't been successful cutting out the nap because he is so tired due to not sleeping at night that he can't make it through the day!

Fingers crossed!

One other thing ... DS3 is in a bed now and tends to wander around at night so I have put a child gate up. Do you think this could be freaking him out?

it could be my ds hated the stair gate and ended up not wanting to go in his room but he got past it keep persevering with it if you cut nap out you may even be lucky enough to put to bed at an earlier time if he is genuinely that tired from not sleeping at nap time

its not easy with cutting nap but at the usual nap time try and do an activity to get him past it

if really tired aim for a 7.15 bed time and do story could still be about 7.45-8 that he drops off do toast at 7 milk in bed and see if he manages to settle for longer

some children can genuinely just be like this and nothing we do can change it but its all worth a try good luck