11 week old ds, need to start some kind of routine, pls advise! I'm exhausted!

[kitkat9]

Just when I thought things were starting to settle down a bit it's all gone a bit pear-shaped...ds is 11 weeks old tomorrow and we have been co-sleeping since birth. This was not really a considered plan, he has an Amby bed which he absolutely hates. I've tried many times to get him to settle in it, but the movement of it seems to upset rather than soothe him...

Anyway, I also set up the travel cot with the bassinet part near the top, and have been having some success with it but it's not great. He'll go into it from about 10pm but usually wakes fairly soon after for a feed - by this time I'm so knackered I end up bringing him into bed with me for a feed, then I crash out too!

I need tips on how much he should be napping during the day and how to get him down at a normal bedtime (ie 7pm-ish). I don't mind co-sleeping, and did it with my other two, but I feel that he is more wakeful and just wants to be constantly fed just because I'm there - ie using my boob as a comfort rather than because he's actually hungry. From about 3am he seems most restless.

KitKat You can establish a routine, but it is generally better all round if you let him lead it.

What time do you go to bed? Do you have any other children?

Are you looking to get more sleep for yourself or are you looking to sacrifce sleep for an evening? Important to think about this because at such a young age it is unlikely you will be able to have both - sorry.

Does he sleep at all in the evening?

'using my boob as a comfort rather than because he's actually hungry'

This is actually what is supposed to happen and believe it or not is a GOOD thing.

11 weeks and you are looking for a routine!

My ds is 7 months and I'm afraid only in the past week has he had a bedtime. He just wasnt ready before. I was advised not to try and get him down to bed early as breastfeeding babies need to fill themselves up in the evening. I know its hard, but I think you have to do whatever it takes in order to get some sleep yourself, and if this means co-sleeping then so be it.

Sorry, just read you have 2 others. How old are they?

'I need tips on how much he should be napping during the day and how to get him down'

I'd say that unless you are an extremely routiney person, the best thing is to allow the baby to sleep when they sleep and not try to interfere. Soon you'll begin to see patterns and predict when the sleep is likely to happen and then you can plan your day around it, learn what the triggers are etc and 'encourage' it to fit a more pleasing shedule - eventually.

Oh, and he still uses my boob as comfort sometimes. Its not really a problem.

thanks for your replies...I'm not one for a strict routine, I didn't mean to come across like that!

My other dc are 5 and 2.1

He sleeps in his swing in the evening until I take him up to bed, usually from around 7pm till 10-ish when I feed him. Some evenings he's awake more than this though...

He's been asleep in his swing for the last 2 1/2 hours (we are in USA so it's only 12.50pm here) and I don't know whether to wake him for a feed! You would think I'd have the hang of this by now...

He did have a particulary wakeful night last night hence the long nap just now..

Just want reassurance that he's sleeping a 'normal' amount for his age, I suppose. I am more than used to being exhausted so not too bothered about that!

My DD is 14 wks old and I am only just starting to be able to recognise some patterns in her feeding, sleeping and wakefulness. I would also go with the flow and see what develops. I am currently forgoing a baby-free evening for a decent night's sleep as DD seems to sleep for an 8 hour stretch and I would rather that stretch was 10pm-6am than 7pm-3am. Haven't been able to 'put her down for a nap' during the day yet - she sleeps as and when she feels like it - but have started to notice a rough pattern of feeding every 2.5 hours in the first part of the day, with an hour or so of wakefulness and an hour or so of dozing (not heavy sleep) between, then a longish sleep in the afternoon (so that's when I do my housework/shopping/paperwork etc).

I think maybe you should give it another few weeks and see how it goes before you start talking routines, but that's just my opinion.

Good luck.

p.s. my DS was waking 2-3 times a night at this age and hardly napped at all during the day. They are all so different, it's no wonder even experienced mums feel they haven't 'got the hang of it'

I haven't even tried to put him down for a nap, as such - I pop him in his swing and if he goes to sleep, then yay - if he doesn't, then ok. He has to fit in with the other dc's 'routines' anyway.

He seems to have his longest nap in the morning, then the rest of the day I'm just winging it, really...

Kitkat9 I don't get what you're asking then. It sounds like you're doing brilliantly. You have a strategy and you are coping well.

What was your question again?

emmmm.....

I don't know what I'm asking either.

We are doing fine. I'm just especially tired today and I guess that I'd been hoping that by this point, considering he's my third, I'd have more of a clue what was going on...

Thanks for your responses! He's awake now so I'm off for a cuddle.

LOL.

Good luck!