Dummy ditching.....

[TettyLouBar]

Right. I know that a while back on here there was a HHHUUUGGEEEeee thread on here about getting rid of dummies and how its done, but I can't find it now!
DD is 8.5 mo and sleeps beautifully at the moment... until the next cold/teething/earache etc comes along...
The only issue we have is that she was very poorly over christmas, and up until that point, was sucking her thumb merrily and sleeping well.
But after her illness she completely forgot how to suck her thumb and we tried everything to comfort her but resorted to using a dummy.

Alls been fine but recently she has started waking up every time it falls out and I want to knock this on the head now and get rid of the damn thing!

Shes on the brink of sleeping through and has started not wanting a night feed so we really would like to see if getting rid of the dummy will be the last thing that starts her sleeping through...

...any suggestions?

bump?!

Hiya...have literally just gone through this with my 6 month DS (actully scrap that....going through it so v.sympathetic to your plight!) He went from being a fairly good sleeper to learning that unless the dummy was in his mouth he couldnt get back to sleep. The threads are all fairly recent and ultimately the concensus I received was 'cold turkey', we decided it wasnt fair to remove it at night but give it in the buggy or for nap times as it would be too confusing. Some unsympathetc responses were to 'put up with it' because it was our fault for giving it and it wasnt fair to upset him. HOWEVER, we decided to use a mild form of CC and, dare I say it, at night it has worked, 4 nights later he has gone through 12 hours and not whinged at all, for 2 of those nights he cried before dropping off but only for max 10 mins and with us shushhing and patting. Having said that nap times have been horrendous, very upset and when he has got sleepy in the buggy he has been miserable without the dummy (the only times he had it were at sleeptimes.) So in fairness I think I should point out that nights have been relatively easy because he has been so bloody tired after hardly any napping. Other people on the previous threads have been using 'pick-up/put down' with some success. And one person suggested removing it just after they fell asleep, but this didnt work for us. I really beat myself up about this issue, I felt like an awful mum and hate hearing him upset but the bottom line is he is sleeping better at night, as are we, whereas last week I was covered in cold sores and very miserable and tired. We're not out the woods yet but I am glad we have done it.

Thanks for your reply lions, thats really helped. Think we're going to give it a go this week! fingers crossed!

My 4 month old son would also have trouble getting to sleep without the dummy and waking as soon as it dropped out. I have just started taking the dummy out of his mouth as he drifts of to sleep and have has some success so far, he has sleep for 5 hour stretches without it. I found this method in the No - cry sleep solution book.

I will let you know how it goes. Also I cannot believe people would be so cruel to say that it should be put up with, I have been so sleep deprived that I have felt physically ill and my son has been fussy because the dunny falling out distrurbed his sleeo. Since I have started weaning my baby off the dummy he and I are getting more rest and are therefore happier and coping better .

Excuse the typos!! still getting over my tiredness!!

I'm just about to start trying to get rid of my daughters dummy-shes two on tuesday. I feel so bad seeing evryone else got rid of thiers earlier!

Don't feel bad Lissy....there were times it was a life-saver and I would have kept it longer had it not started to cause more problems than it solved. My niece is 2 and at least is kind of old enough to understand why she shouldn't have it "we cant understand you with the dummy in" "big girls dont need it..." etc. Having an upset baby who I couldnt reason with made me feel awful. Having said that am so so pleased we did it!!!!

we just got rid of the dummy for our 4month old DS - much the same experience as lions except using PU/PD. Bedtime he now settles himself (after a bit of whinge) and sleeps through til he needs a feed and goes straight back to sleep, also goes happily in his buggy and sling without it - naps are also a different kettle of fish, we have major meltdown almost every time BUT the last few days have seen him have at least one nap of at least 1.5hrs (he was a very overtired half-hour napper and still is a lot of the time) which I think is in part due to getting rid of the dummy.

We also thought it was mean and confusing to take it away at bedtime but not in the buggy or for naps so have gone totally cold turkey.

PU/PD we basically pick him up if he's upset (not if just whinging) and calm him down, by patting, talking, shushing, rocking (you're not supposed to do this apparently but we do!) - the second he stops crying (even if still gasping and not totally calm) we lay him down - often he starts up again, try to calm him in cot then pick up til he stops crying etc etc...if he cries for more than 2mins we put him down then pick him up again, we also put him down if he's arching his back (no point in fighting him). Generally (unless overtired) we don't need to do this at all at bedtime now which is such an improvement.

Be prepared for the guilt though - it's really tough because you know the one thing guaranteed to stop them crying is the dummy, I feel horrid when he melts down but I think he's prob forgotten about it now and is just chronically overtired when that happens

good luck!

Thanks for all of your lovely massages ladies. I think because DD didnt start using a dummy until 6 MO she's sometimes doesn't wake at all when its fallen out during the night (depending on how tired she is).

I ONLY use it for naps and bedtime and we never give it to her during the day so I'm hoping that the cold turkey approach might be the way to go.

Hi Lions.. - was just wondering how things have gone since you posted your message. I'm at the end of day 3 cold turkey. My 5 month old was becoming so reliant on the dummy I was having to get up more and more in the night to put it back in so she could get back off to sleep. It has got us through some hard times; colic and when I had no choice but to give up breastfeeding but now it is effecting my sleep I feel I have no choice but to let her learn to fall asleep without it. It is so hard though when she is crying so much and I keep questioning whether I've made the right choice. Am hoping you can tell me it gets easier and they forget they ever had one at some point...

Hi Vail....we're just coming up for 2 weeks since we started and while I won't lie and say its been easy it's also been a really good decision. At nights now we rarely have more than a few minutes grumbling and then he's off for about 11 hours. (jump for joy emoticom) The naps are still a bit hit and miss, yeaterday went down 3 times with minimum fuss, this morning kicked off royally and worked himself right up so I got him up. He has never been a huge sleeper in the day so I am just trusting his signs and my instincts as to when he is tired. I think some of the reason he has gone down so easily at night is because he is very tired!!! There have been a few times I have nearly relented and given it back, somtimes its very hard when I know it would have staved off a hungry cry or moan in the buggy for 10, BUT, he is slepping so well at night, as are we and as a result the whole family feeels pretty much back to normal! Plus now we've done the hard bit I know it won't be something to have to wean him off later....

Thanks for writing back lions, your message helped me not give up. For the benefit of anyone else reading this thread - a week in now and there are definite improvements. Not only is my baby sleeping through the night she is starting to show signs of being quite happy to be in her cot at bedtime. A far cry from the multiple dummy runs we previously had to do before she fell asleep. Like lions the naps have been more of a battle but what was up to 40 minutes of crying is anything from nothing to 10 minutes now. I have no doubt there will be some wobbles but I think I'm over the worst and feel that I've done the right thing. I think my main issue was thinking I was depriving my baby of her sucking reflex but she does appear to be showing me that she can cope without sucking on a dummy and is learning how to soothe herself without it. Definitely worth the hard work. Right now it's time to de-stress!

Thanks to everyone who's written about their experiences here. Vail & Lions, your posts has given me a bit of courage because we're also at the end of our tether with dummy use (waking up every 1-2 hours for the dummy from 11 onwards), and the only thing that's stopping us from ditching it completely is that we don't want to deprive DS of something he clearly loves & is part of his sleep ritual. We're now using a dummy holder but so far it hasn't seemed to help. DP is insisting that we go cold turkey, and I'm gathering courage to do just that (but putting it off so far)...

Hi Maria,
I just read your post and wanted to reply as know how darn hard the cold turkey with dummy is....I put it off for quite a while until we all reached breaking point. We're now a few weeks down the line and HONESTLY it was the best thing we've done. Bar the odd teething disruption my DS (and I hope I don't jinx this ) is now going through 11 - even 12 - hours at night, just about every night with no waking at all! Naps can, in truth, be a bit hit and miss but very few tears now, just grumbling for a minute or 2 and I'm more relaxed about knowing he is just fine and exercising his right to complain! I was very jittery about going out in the buggy without it, yes, we occasionally do have tears where previously the dummy would have gone in but we substitue it with organic snacks or a toy and most of the time it does the trick! I felt like an awful person for taking it away and he didnt understand, (think I cried more than him) but he is happy and contented and obviously has no recollection, nor does he bear a grudge! Good luck if you decide to go for it!

A while ago I saw a post on here for the Sleepytot Baby Comforter and honestly didn't think it would work. But I was at my wits end so I gave it a go and it does. Honestly. I know that ditching it would be better but this is all I could manage at the time. I'm plan to help dd give up the dummy when she's one and I think the Sleepytot will really help with that.