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Original poster

so when they climb in bed with you in the middle of the night...

35 replies

OnlyWantsOne · 03/03/2009 18:57

... demanding snuggles and telling you they love you as their little cold feeties scratch your warm legs, you get up and fling them back in their bed?

and then what? they scream?

what to do?

DD is 2.4 and goes to bed well, has random sleep patterns during day though, mostly has dropped day time nap.

Keeps getting in bed with me from 10.30pm to about 3pm and stays there firmly till morning.

If I put her back, she wakes within minutes and comes back screaming...

OP posts:
Original poster
OnlyWantsOne · 03/03/2009 18:58

that is supposed to say 10.30pm to 3am

OP posts:
louii · 03/03/2009 19:00

If he comes in and goes asleep i just leave him, any messing and back to his own bed he goes. Cant beat a wee snuggly toddler in bed with you

nickytwotimes · 03/03/2009 19:04

If you are getting peace in the evenings and you can all sleep okay with her in the bed, then I'd just let her. It won't last forever. I was very anti - co-sleeping until I had a toddler that woke through the night...

MissisBoot · 03/03/2009 19:06

I just let dd get in and stay there - she went through a phase for about a year of getting into bed with us in the middle of the night and I often thought that I should maybe get her to settle back in her own bed but just could be dealing with the shouting in the middle of the night. She soon learnt though that it was sleep time not play time.

Sometimes she still comes in if she wakes and needs a snuggle.

xfabba · 03/03/2009 19:07

we let ours as long as he goes to sleep again and doesnt wriggle too much - any tossing and turning or prodding we turf him out. He comes and goes and is now 4 and comes in every now and again - doesn't cause us any issues.

bananapaddlepop · 03/03/2009 19:09

we have the same issue, we're thinking of trying some rapid return / breaking the habit on the weekend as we're quite unhappy with the whole situation. she used to sleep beautifully from 7.30 - 6.30 without a peep.

MadamDeathstare · 03/03/2009 19:09

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadamDeathstare · 03/03/2009 19:10

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bananapaddlepop · 03/03/2009 19:11

madame deathstare -

ben5 · 03/03/2009 19:11

ds1 loves snuggles. if he's happy and asleep then i sleep to! we are all happy in the morning then

Original poster
OnlyWantsOne · 03/03/2009 19:27

...hmmm maybe should just let her

kinda killing the sex life though, used to like early morning snuggles with my DP!

OP posts:
xfabba · 03/03/2009 19:41

we are not morning people at all so our schedules dont really clash.

Stinkyfeet · 03/03/2009 19:53

I take them back to their own bed. If they are really having trouble settling I will lie with them in their bed until they drop back off to sleep (usually doze for a bit myself), then go back to our bed.

I don't want them to think that our bed is a place for them to sleep. But that's our choice - what anyone else does is up to them!

I have 6am limit - if they come in after that, I don't mind them getting in the bed for a cuddle - even a snooze if we're lucky!

Mintyy · 03/03/2009 20:09

My ds did this pretty much every night from age 3 to 3 and a half and I was happy to let him come in with us because he always just used to lie quietly, cuddle up and go to sleep. There was never a tussle and I knew he would stop doing it one day.

I missed it terribly when he grew out of it! Even now I feel a little frisson of gorgeousness if he suddenly appears in the middle of the night and sneaks in to bed.

DD (nearly 3 years older) just didn't do it.

MadamDeathstare · 03/03/2009 21:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadamDeathstare · 03/03/2009 21:56

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Stinkyfeet · 03/03/2009 22:04

It's only if they need it in the middle of the night that I lie with them - we're maybe talking once or twice a month. Anything to get them back to sleep quickly! They settle themselves fine at bedtime, otherwise I think I'd fall asleep then as well!

Mind you, Madam, going by your earlier post, if I were you I'd go and sleep in one of their beds and leave the rest of them to it!

KerryMumbles · 03/03/2009 22:05

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stealthsquiggle · 03/03/2009 22:07

At 10:30pm - I put them back in bed.

DD 'arrives' somewhere between 3:30 and 4:30am when I have zero resistance.

I ended up sleeping mostly on my bedside table the other night. I do not recommend it.

With DS I used to wait until he settled and then take him back to his bed. DD is a very light sleeper and that just doesn't work .

MmeLindt · 03/03/2009 22:10

LOL MadamDeathstare. I would be sleeping in a tent in the garden, if I were you.

DS sneaks in the bed some, well most nights. I let him snuggle for a few minutes then take him back to his own bed. Most times he goes back ok, sometimes he complains but I am well 'ard and don't let him in the bed. We have a wee tiny bed and I get no sleep if he is in the bed with us.

I sometimes lie on his bed with him until he goes to sleep.

Last week he went in the huff and said, "if you don't let me sleep in your bed, then I will just go to my sister and sleep in her bed, then you will know all about it"

He is 4yo.

Stinkyfeet · 03/03/2009 22:11

I do concede that I probably wouldn't be as firm as I am if it happened every night! I'm very fortunate that it's quite infrequent here.

Desiderata · 03/03/2009 22:12

I can't see the problem.

ds has always climbed into bed with us during the night. Sometimes it's midnight, sometimes it's six in the morning, but I love it!

stealthsquiggle · 03/03/2009 22:15

My 'problem with it' is:

DD insists on sleeping on me
Then she insists on sleeping on top of the duvet, thereby pushing it off me
She has sharp elbows

..then DS turns up too and they proceed to bicker

I love the snuggles - but my back is killing me after a few weeks of this (since we took the sides off her bed)

Linnet · 03/03/2009 22:19

Dd2 does this, she slept every night right through until she was about 3 then she started coming into our bed in the middle of the night. It seems to be if she wakes up, instead of snuggling back to sleep she comes and gets in with me. I don't mind, I just leave her, she's very strong willed and I don't have the energy to be arguing all night about her sleeping in her own bed when I have to get up in the morning and go to work. So she comes through, gets in beside me and goes back to sleep. Doesn't bother me at all, or dh. Sometimes I don't even hear her come in, I just wake up in the morning and she's there.

seeker · 03/03/2009 22:20

It's important to remember that the stage when they want to come into bed with you is SO short in the grand scheme of things! My ds hates stormy weather, and dp and I get really excited when the weather forecast predicts storms because we know we'll have a lovrly wriggly person in bed with us! It's only one year out of eighty five - chill, ass dd would asay!