Daytime Nap Proving Tricky - 14 month old

[Pibbins]

Can anyone help me?!! My 14 month old daughter is proving difficult to get down for a daytime nap. I usually end up taking her out in car which after about four months is becoming increasingly frustrating! She goes in her cot fine at nighttime, but if I go anywhere near it during the day she starts crying. I fear this is as a result of controlled crying which I was talked into doing by 2 health visitors (against my better judgement!) She fights having a nap that much that I can't even walk round the house with her - she wriggles to get free or just babbles and points at things! She even gets cross in her pushchair and usually just starts crying. There doesn't seem to be any pattern either, which I have put down to her dropping a morning nap, but now I'm just not sure I'm making it worse letting her go through to lunchtime. She only slept for half an hour at about 10.30 today, even though she had two 20 minute car journies in the afternoon didn't go to sleep and was a misery from about 4pm till bedtime. I am at my witsend - can anyone help me?!!!!

Hi Pibbins my DS is 13 months and certainly still needs his two sleeps a day or else he is a nightmare. I try really hard to stick to set times and naps in his cot and he is better on the days that I do. There is an article about toddlers' naps in Prima Baby this month (March edition) it's quite interesting. One thing that they say is:

"On no nap days when your toddler is really cranky, try changing your usual mealtime schedule. Move dinner forward by an hour or more and follow it with a very early bedtime - an hour or two earlier is acceptable once in a while, especially when it's needed by everyone."

They recommend "The No-Cry Nap Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley (£9.99, McGraw Hill) you can get it for £7.99 incl P&P by calling 01628 502720 and quoting "PB-NCN09" the offer ends 31 May.

have you tried no morning nap, then filling her up nice and full at lunchtime and try putting her down after lunch. mine always slept much pretty on a full belly halfway through the day

*pretty better

Hi Pibbins

Am just going through this one with my 13mo little monster DS - I so know how you feel!

What sort of routine do you have and maybe we can compare notes and solutions?

Thanks for your advice - I bought the magazine today and think I will be ordering the book tomorrow! Pibs x

Hi Gabster
Its so good to hear that someone else is having the same problem - I was beginning to think it is something I have done wrong! And the worse thing is everyone says 'well at least she sleeps at night' - which of course is wonderful but it doesn't help on the days when I feel like I've been tied to my child for 12 hours !
My routine has gone completely to pot at the moment - not sure if that's her or me not coping very well. She had been napping in the mornings around 10.30'ish and in the afternoons about 2.30/3.00'ish - both times requiring me to drive round for between 10 and 20 minutes. Then she started only having one sleep - so if she slept in the morning I couldn't seem to get her off in the afternoon. So thinking that she might be in the transition to one nap a day, I have tried to go all morning and can usually make it until about 11.30/12'ish when she will usually have 40/50 minutes. She does show tired signals - sometimes as early as 8.30am/9.00am (she wakes around 6.30am) and have found that giving her a snack brings her round a bit. My partner tried taking her out in the car this morning instead but after 20 mins driving she was still wide awake despite yawning the whole trip!
So the lunchtime nap seems the best compromise we can come to at the moment.
And obviously making it doubly tricky is the fact that she isn't willing to give in to daytime sleep - if getting her asleep was easier it would be easier to trial and error sleep times. Twice last week I managed to get her to sleep by walking round with her and lying her on the sofa, but she woke after about half an hour and, knowing that isn't long enough for one day, I managed to get her back to sleep, but then couldn't lie her down and had to spend 20 minutes with her asleep on me. But the norm is to drive in the car, which then means I spend the 40 mins she's asleep looking through the lounge window every 5 minutes!
Sorry if that's all a bit long winded - I could go on!! How are things with you?
Pibs x

My DS is 15mnths and has been down to 1 nap a day for about 2 months now.

He tends to fall asleep after lunch, but then we have lunch at 11.30am due to DDs going to school and nursery in the afternoon.

If he goes down in his cot he will sleep for hours - I usually wake him up after 2hrs, if out in the car, can only be about 20mins but that sees him through to bed time.

He sleeps 6-6.30pm through to 6.30-7am

That's reassuring - at least I'm not wide of the mark with the transition to one nap a day.
Do you know the secret to a 'long sleep in a cot'!?!

Hey Pibbins

I so know what you mean. My LO wakes about the same time and it has been a mare getting DS to nap twice in a day. Having said that though he does get put down in his cot after lunch as if not, he only sleeps 45m max in pushchair (I don't have a car).

I would not say the crying is necessarily because of CC - my LO is doing it too. I think they just don't want to go to sleep hence the protest. It could also be developmental - how is the walking going? DS is cruising so I put a lot of it down to him working hard on that at the moment. Plus of course there is the old seperation anxiety chestnut too.

Best thing I have found lately is to go walking with him in the pushchair in the morning around 9.30 as he cries so much if I try to put him to bed (and the dog gets a walk too then so multi-tasking and feel I am achieving something!) and if he nods off great, if he doesn't its less stressful and he often seems re-charged from the rest. If he does goes off, I wake him after 15m max. I hate waking him but have found if I do this, he will still go down after lunch and sleeps OK. Like Danjarmouse, we have lunch at 11.30 just in case he starts to flake on the days he does not nap (he nearly fell asleep in his lunch literally last week). Mainly I find he takes a morning nap every 3rd or 4th day, so I dont bother even trying the day after he takes one.

Of course this is the routine for the last week, it could have all changed by tomorrow!!!

Hi
The morning walk is a good idea - especially as the weather is picking up (I too have a dog!). I've recently started going to toddler groups on Weds/Thurs mornings and am just signing up for a third on Fri - in a desperate attempt to keep her occupied and hopefully tire her out!! Not to mention a bit of adult conversation for me. She has been walking for about a month - I was hoping this would make her more tired and hence receptive to a daytime nap, but if anything its made it worse! As you suggest it may just be an eagerness to explore.
As for the crying - you could be right. I put it down to CC as I attempted it for about 5 weeks and by the end she was crying for over half an hour before falling to sleep so I just daren't try it again. However, a couple of weeks ago my partner got so frustrated he took her and put her in the cot and she only cried for about 3 mins before falling asleep. I just can't seem to be able to lie her down without her crying to attempt a different approach - the health visitor suggested lying her on the sofa while she watched her favourite tv programme!
May be I have got that worked up about it, I'm making things more difficult for myself. I feel better already for talking to someone in a similar position. Thanks x

Groups sound like a good idea - we are in the middle of moving house so a luxury I do not have time for at the moment so excuse me while I get all jelous .

Snap - its amazing. DH says he does not know what all the fuss is about - when he puts DS down he is asleep in 5m flat no crying, nothing, and does not believe me when I say I get a squirmy, wingy worm who cries the minute I try and shut the door and I spend the 10m it takes him to go down pacing around wincing at the desperate sounds he makes. DH is calmer than me too, and I have v. rarely been able to cuddle my DS to sleep whereas DH does it all the time. Yet again, .

Must admit if it was me would be a bit reticent about the "in front of the tv" thing. I reckon there are two main reason why my DS cries lots when I put him down. (1) he is not tired enough to sleep yet and so complains, or (2) is too tired and so does not want me to go/is clingy. I reckon it's really hard not to get in either of these positions when their routine is changing like this. Does that make sense?

It certainly does make sense - I feel the same. It's as if I can only get her asleep with maximum effort.
The craziest thing happened the other week - my MIL was babysitting for the afternoon and she had a couple of her friends round for afternoon tea. One of her friends sat with my daughter on her knee and read her a story which resulted in her falling asleep!! My beautiful little girl hasn't even had so much as heavy eyes with me - ever!! I felt such a failure - how could a stranger get my child to sleep so easily!?!
Even if I try to walk round and shush her to sleep (which used to work when she was younger) she brings her knees up as if to force herself away from me and shakes her head.
I must admit - I took your advice and we went for a walk this morning at 10am, which is when she started to show tired/bored signs and then we got to lunch quite happily so thanks for that. After lunch it took 5 minutes in the car and she was asleep. She had an hour - which is what she's been having in a day. Unfortunately come 4pm she turned wingey and mardy. Its so frustrating - she obviously needs more than the hour she has.
Don't worry I haven't tried the nap infront of the telly advice - I can't get her to lie down voluntarily!

LOL "can't get her to lie down voluntarily" yes, there's a thing. I so feel for you with the whole "other people can get her to sleep" thing. You could always try and think of it as she is too excited when you are around and does not want to waste time she could spend with you by sleeping, whereas the other people bored her so much they sent her to sleep!!

I finally managed to get DS to take a 10m nap this morning - first time since Friday last week!!! And that was under great duress even in the pushchair. It's all just such hard work at the moment I am really fed up with it. Ho hum.

My LO usually has 1hr20m max lunch times by the way, and that is in the cot in the dark so I don't think you did too bad in the car.

Glad the walk thing helped though. Just trying to get through to this afternoon when I can take DS to the local family centre for some free childcare and a cup of coffee!! woohoo a whole hour winge free. Can't wait.

Hi there. Well I'm not sure if we have turned a corner but I seem to have had a better week this week (of course saying this out loud will only mean that I have to be proved wrong!!) (hmm)
We have survived (in relatively good spirits) through the morning and even had lunch and then a good half hour or so for lunch to settle before having an afternoon nap for between 1 1/4 and 1 3/4 hours. Unfortunately the nap is still taking place in the car (apart from one mid week on granny's knee!). Her mood has also been slightly better at tea time as well.
So hopefully things are starting to settle down and we can find some grounds for a routine - then I will have to focus on trying to get her asleep in the house !!!
I think as you say - if she does fall asleep in the morning, I will have to wake her after a short time to ensure that she is tired for her afternoon nap.
I must admit its surprising how much better I feel after a reasoanble week - it doesn't feel like everything's out of control. Phew!