I'm at the end of my tether.
Our 18 month old son has been rubbish at sleeping since birth. I can count the nights he slept through on one hand but we've been getting by by taking him into bed with us when he wakes up in the night, where he happily goes back to sleep straight away and we don't mind that at all.
Trouble is that we can't get him down at bed time. Sometimes it doesn't take long but lately it's been a total nightmare. We habe a bedtime routine with bath, story, bottle and bed. He has a dummy. He happily climbs into his cot himself after his story so that's not the problem. It then just takes literally hours sometimes until he falls asleep, while we sit by his cot holding his hands (and any other moving body part) while he is desperately trying to stay awake, by moving around, growling and breathing weirdly.
I am totally against controlled crying. We have walked out on him a few times though because we just couldn't stand it anymore. When we have done this he will absolutely freak and scream to the point where he almost makes himself sick. I honestly think he is mortified being left on his own, even with lights on and toys / books in his cot. Also the few walk outs we staged seem to have scared him, he freaks even if I just move away from the cot.
I know we have conditioned him to be used to be put to bed like this. We used to live in a 1 bedroom flat and he was in the room with us for the first year, which means he's always been used to us being close.
I'm caught in a vicious circle. I don't want to let him cry it out but I don't see what else we can do but I also know we need to do something as we can't stand it anymore. Every night in the last two weeks either myself or my partner come out of that bedroom angry, exhausted, hungry and so, so irritated that it ruins the very few moments we get to ourselves once he's asleep.
Can anyone help? Please?