Oh my god, someone help us before we go completely insane!

[bouncingblueberries]

ds will be 3 in April.

We moved him into a toddler bed a couple of months ago - he was jumping out of the cot and fell badly a couple of times.

The first few weeks, he stayed in his bed and went to sleep no bother at all. He would sometimes get up during the night and come into our bed, but that doesn't bother us too much.

But gradually he has become a nightmare to put to bed in the evening. Nothing has changed - we still read to him, he still has a bath.

As I type he's running around laughing trying to wind us up every time we try to put him back to bed (which we try to do very calmly, but I can't see it lasting much longer - the calmness that is).

But now we're near to losing our marbles. We've been so used to having those precious few hours in the evening together.

Help us somebody please!

We even tried keeping him up later tonight. Letting him sit with us while we ate i the hope that if we weren't hungry, we would find it easier to cope with the bedtime nonsense.

No joy.

I completely sympathise as I am having much the same trouble with my 2.7 year old!

However, he does to go to bed ok now (just doesn't stay in it in the early hours of the morning!) - we have a stairgate at the top of the stairs and all the other upstairs rooms have their doors shut so he can only 'play' about on the landing or in his room whilst we carried on with our evening and ignored him. The first night I just left him to amuse himself he cried for about 15 minutes at the stairgate then put himself to bed - an every night since then, he has happily put himself to bed as soon as I have gone downstairs - could this work for you?

Unfortunately this doesn't work at 4am as he knows I am in bed...so tonight I am going for a radical option of coming downstairs and hoping the same trick might work - will make sure I have a book down here or just MN until he is asleep - got to be better than standing on the landing freezing and bored putting him back to bed.

Poor you it's tough when they suddenly change habits! My dd did this when we changed her to a bed. Does he still nap in the day? Maybe cut out nap if so. You could try a stair gate on his bedroom door to help confine him to the right place even if he wont sleep. Have you tried a reward chart?
All of the these things got us back on track, it took a while though!

Sit outside ds's bedroom door. Have a magazine or a book and a drink.

Do not let him come downstairs.

Be prepared to sit there for hours.

When ds opens bedroom door just take him by the hand and put him back in bed. Say "its time to sleep now" and nothing else (not crossly).

I had this with both of my dcs when they turned 3.

DD fell asleep on the landing floor one night when I stopped her from going downstairs.

It took several nights of being very firm, for both of them, but it did work.

He's already dropped his daytime nap (more precious time lost!), although I belive he still has half an hour nap at nursery.

we live in a 2 bed flat, so stair gates aren't really an option - he yelled the house down when we installed a temporary one at PIL. We're all mentally scared from that experience so have vowed not to put a stair gate on his door. Also, I have this irrational fear of there being a fire and being unable to reach him due to the stair gate - pfb, indulge me.

Aargh! Little b*gger just got up AGAIN!

OK - trying the silent return method now.

DH and I both realise we try to reason with him too much.

Little monkey is now playing the xylophone but at least he's stayed in his bedroom...

nope, spoke too soon...

Just to clarify I only used the stair gate until she was settled and ready for me to put her to bed, didn't leave her screaming or anything! Also left it opened once asleep! Hope your ds gets to bed soon!

1. Start on a Friday night.
2. Warn the neighbours.
3. Put him to bed, tell him good night, see you in the morning.
4. Close the door.
5. In half an hour, the screaming should stop and he should be asleep in a heap behind the door.
6. Put him into his bed and cover him.
7. It will probably only take 15 minutes on Saturday.
8. On Sunday it should all go smoothly.

I am vehemently opposed to CIO with babies, but toddlers need to learn their boundaries and can follow instructions like "stay in bed" and some lessons are best learned quickly. The above was the procedure when my BFF realised the cup of water at bedtime was causing the wet beds. By night 3 she said "night night mum" and that was that.

Thanks for all your suggestions last night.

DS finally finally asleep at 9.30pm, in his bed after a final final final cuddle from mummy and daddy.

It is so hard not to get cross with them isn't it?!!

And here's me desperate for a baby to disrupt our sleep even more - hey ho!

Hopefully it will all go at lot smoother tonight if we're consistent and continue with the silent return routine. Fingers crossed!

ches would you give the same advice for a 22m old?

ds is not refusing to stay in bed, he just seems to have forgotten how to get to sleep without lots of trauma. we haven't changed anything but it's just not working for us any more.

phdlife are you sure your 22 mth old is not getting the 2yr molars? I wouldn't with a 22 month old, but it depends on the kid -- how good are his communication skills? And his understanding of cause and effect? Does the "3 days to make a habit" generally apply? (e.g. brush teeth every morning upon waking for 3 days does he then want to brush his teeth when he gets up.)

I don't really think taking a long time to go to sleep is the same type of situation though. The OP has a problem with a nearly 3yo who doesn't do what is told and needs boundaries shifted inward sharply. It's awful hearing a child cry, but sometimes if your child is going to resist, and you try and do things slowly and it leads to say 10 min of screaming a day for 2 weeks, then you've got 140 min of screaming versus say 45 min the quick way.