co-sleepers- how do you reclaim your evenings?

[poshsinglemum]

I want to continue co-sleeping but I'd like to have a life too-can both be achieved? ATM I love the night bit of co-sleeping. I love waking up to a smile dd and hate the thought of putting her in her own room (she's 7 months). However, my evenings have gone to pot. ATM after a bath I stay in the same room with her on our mattress reading. Would i better off putting her in her cot after her evening bath with a baby monitor? In that way I could go downstairs, watch tv, encourage a bit of independence and then take her into bed with me when I go upstairs? She's learning to crawl so I don't want to put her on my mattress and leave her there even tho it's on the floor.

Why can't she come downstairs with you? She's way too young to be bothered by anything you watch on tv, and will encourage her to sleep well with noise around her - always a useful skill IMO

Then, as soon as you feel she's old enough, put her to sleep upstairs and make sure the room's safe in case she wakes up - shut the door, put a baby monitor in there, remove anything she could hurt herself on.

If she likes the cot then there's no reason not to put her in there.

Play it by ear! And don't worry about 'encouraging independence'. You don't need to encourage it to happen - it just will, so long as she knows she's secure and you're always there for her. Babies are born with a very strong instinct to become independent, otherwise the human race wouldn't have survived!

Mine have all slept in our bed. Now we have a huge bed that we all sleep in (6 of us! ) but that's only cos DD2 is only 4 and not yet brave enough to spend every night in hers and DD1 (5.5)'s room, and DD1 doesn't want to do it on her own when we're all together in our room! They do it every now and then and it's gettin g more and more frequent so I know they'll get there eventually and, in the meantime, I'm focussing on enjoying the cuddles I get! They're both very independent and sociable and secure little girls, and I'm certain that's in part because of all the bedsharing

Hi Lindenlass.
Some good advice. I know that independance comes naturally really- that's one reason why I agree with co-sleeping. DD was in moses basket from birth to three months. I took her into the lounge with me and I kud watch tv while she slept. At bedtime I took the moses basket into my room and she slept right next to me which worked great. Then when she grew out of the moses basket I didn't really know what to do in the evening. I didn't want to leave her alone as I didn't have a monitor back then and I didn't want her to be alone. At the same time I didn't want to go to bed at 7.00 like dd!
I recently moved house and there has been no tv until the other day anyway so I have gone to bed with dd after her bath and just read and painted etc. I have been back at my parent's this week and they do have tv. I have taken her into the lounge but she is so overtired and distracted. She's also at taht getting into everything, frustrated age. ATM I feed her to sleep in parent's lounge. Put her on beanbag to sleep. She sleeps for 30 mins/60 mins then wakes and palys, demands attention and throws strops because she can't reach desired objects. I need to get a travel cot. I feel like a rotten mum as I don't have a more together routine.
I really do love co- sleeping and don't want to give up but would love my evenings back too- help!

You're not a rotten mum if you're responding to her needs - you're a fab mum!

Is there no way you can make the room you and she sleep in really safe so you can leave her there in the evenings to sleep?

Am in same boat - (have posted similar in the last week or so!) and was about to post to say that I think we're going to have to stop co-sleeping, as at the moment it just isn't working for anyone.

So no helpful advice unfortunately, just offering solidarity and will watch this thread...

Thanks everyone. I am fine with co-sleeping at night as when she wants to feed I just roll over and then fall asleep again. Part of me knows thinks taht if we didn't co-sleep she wouldn't wake up as much. I hate the thought of getting out of my warm bed in the middle of the night to get dd out of a lonely cot.

It's just the evenings. I think I do need a bit of me time really as I am with her ALL the time. I love it but am tired.

We used to do bath, milk, then cot in own room. Then when we went to bed DS came into our room. Worked just fine. I also think it did make it easier when it came to permanently moving him into his own room.

We do nearly what you're thinking of - though dd only 12 weeks so not in her own room. She goes tp bed at about 8 in a bedside crib (the kind with 3 sides attached to our bed) and then when she first wakes for a feed usually at about 12, unswaddle her and bring her into bed. DH and I have managed to have dinner together for several weeks now

I'm missing co sleeping too - DD is 6 months and has been in her own room for past few weeks. If you can get her sleeping in her own cot then you may find that bringing her into yr bed early in the morning is enough of a co-sleeping fix!! I certainly am. She wakes about 5.30/6ish, and I bring her into bed with me and I get the first smile of the day but don't have so many aches and pains from sleeping in bf position the whole night. She's doing fine in her own room btw, not sleeping thru but defo sleeping for longer stretches.