Hiya Unbuffy, sorry the mention of Gina Ford & the Baby Whisperer made me see red! Some of my mum friends have been trying to follow these methods and are stressing about their LOs not being in a routine yet, and it seems to me it's the method which is the problem, not them or their LOs, and it's causing them unnecessary stress IMO.
However probably not very useful to you, sorry
I do still think people don't cut new mums enough slack - and new mums especially don't cut themselves enough slack! In an ideal world you wouldn't care what your mum thinks about the house, you would be catching up with your sleep in the daytime rather than getting ready for her visit, she would turn up, tidy for you and remember to tell you what a great job you are doing! But back to reality ...
Some babies like the sound of white noise, you can buy CDs but actually the sound of the hairdryer can do the trick. You can leave it propped up somewhere safe in the room. Have you tried this?
My instinct would be to get my LO up as much as possible in the day, wakened by being picked up at the first signs of stirring. Where does she sleep in the day? Is she in the room with you?
Also, is it possible she's crying for a reason other than being over tired e.g. wind?
I'm sure you're doing this anyway, but when she wakes up at night, keep it distinct from daytime e.g. lights down, quiet, no stimulation, just feeding, cuddles and back to bed. I find my baby sleeps much longer on the odd occasion we co-sleep, this could help if you're comfortable with the idea of co-sleeping? (Have a look at the threads on co-sleeping on MNET if you're interested).
That's the limit of my limited knowledge I'm afraid! (Although I would like to point out I have more experience than certain authors who don't actually have children!!) I hope someone else comes along with some good advice soon, and hope you manage to get some sleep soon, sleep deprivation is no fun!