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I am demented and in tears

21 replies

inscotland · 08/02/2009 20:31

With a beer in my hand because I don't honestly know what is going on with DS sleep.

He used to be able to self settle but now that he's a bit older it has gone out of the window.

No 2 nights are the same. Some nights, like tonight it takes 1.5 hours, a temper tantrum, him turning over and over in his cot but unable to get back, gurgling, playing and then more tears with me eventually cuddling him to sleep. Other nights he will fall asleep quite quickly with a bit of pat, ssshhh but will wake anytime between 2 and 6 hours later and we then go through the above.

I have tried leaving him to cry but he just gets hysterical and it takes longer to calm him down. I can't go back to that.

PU/PD worked ok but when he's wide awake and playful it doesn't work so I just lie in bed waiting for him to get upset before I go in and start the above!

He's never been a good sleeper. 3 x 40 minute sleeps in his cot. SOmetimes in the morning if hubby (who works nights) and I are a bit knackered we will bring him into our bed after his morning nap and he will sleep for another 40 minutes but that can be a bit of a hit or a miss.

He's on 3 good meals a day with plenty of milk. He's been crawling for 3 weeks now and is 7 months old.

I can't go on like this much more, especially as I am here 5 nights out of 7 by myself.

Is this normal and will it pass. Please help!

OP posts:
inscotland · 08/02/2009 20:32

Sorry that should be naps at 3 x 40 minutes.

OP posts:
inscotland · 08/02/2009 20:32

Sorry that should be naps at 3 x 40 minutes.

OP posts:
HumphreyCobbler · 08/02/2009 20:35

Mine did this.
It was awful, I do sympathise.
It will pass, although this phase did last for a couple of months. He is now two and sleeps really well.

Is your ds teething?

inscotland · 08/02/2009 20:42

Could be. His bottom 2 came through almost together about a month a go so I don't think his top 2 are far away.

It's just so draining and stressful.

The thing is when I put him to bed at night which is usually between 6.30 and 7 pm he's rubbing his face and pulling his ears so I know he's tired.

As soon as I get any of those indications during the day he's off to bed or the back comes down on his buggy and I try to get him off to sleep.

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LoveMyGirls · 08/02/2009 20:46

i reccomend....

grobag or swaddled under the arms so they feel secure.

a light show this ones plays for 10 mins

a dark room with black out blinds

a very good routine where you do the same things each time you put him to bed so he gets the warning signs it's time for a nap - mine is feed, change nappy, cuddle then lie him in my arms and say shh sleepies now then I put him in grobag with a light blanket over the top tucked in the sides of the cot so he feels extra snug and secure then i put the light show on then I stand with my back to the cot and when I get the feeling he is going off 9this can be anything from a couple of mins to 20mins max) I slowly (tiny steps) make my way out the door. (this is not for my ds btw its for my mindee who didn't like sleeping for more than 40mins at a time now he's 11 mths and will now sleep up to 2hrs if im lucky) if you keep doing this he will get the message and if he does murmur quick as a flash i run up and grab the lightshow and switch it on in the hall so he can faintly hear it without the light and that usually sends him back off to sleep for a bit.

pavlovthecat · 08/02/2009 20:46

I think he sounds a bit like teething too, DD did this for a while and we were despairing, each time, we only ever figured out it was her teeth just before they came through! We used some Orajel which we got from USA and it worked a treat. We only now know the signs for her teething properly, now they have just all come through [bluh].

Have you tried any teething powders or gum relief? I found that Olbasol (sp) liquid was much much better than either the gel or bonjela.

LoveMyGirls · 08/02/2009 20:46

Oh if teething I highly recomend ashton and parsons powders too.

inscotland · 08/02/2009 20:51

I have been using calpol but didn't tonight as I just feel like I am giving it to him every night which concerns me.

We have a light show but I took it off the side of the cot as he used to just rattle it off the bars!

Might give it another go.

Will also try and tuck him in with a blanket too.

Our routine has been the same for weeks.

Bath,
Milk,
Teeth (just new)
Gro-bag,
Cuddle,
In cot but then it either kicks off as above or I just sshhh pat.

Will try a few other things tomorrow.

Will also look at Olbasol when in the city in the morning. Thank you!

OP posts:
inscotland · 08/02/2009 20:52

Do you just shove the powders in their mouth? I don't mean hard but just shove them in!

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LoveMyGirls · 08/02/2009 20:54

The little star one just stands by the cot so he can't touch it which is handy when little, when my dd2 got a bit bigger she could press the button herself and that saved us going up to do it (we used to her her switch it on, on the monitor)

When my dd2 was badly teething we used medised but now they say not to give to under 2's but tbh nothing else had the same pain relief for her. The ashtons is amazing though and herbal too.

pavlovthecat · 08/02/2009 20:55

lovemygirls I was recommended them too, but then I found Oragel!!! Which was like WOW, unfortunately it is not licenced over here, which was a bit but it worked when needed!

inscotland - yes I believe you just tip them onto their tongue?

LoveMyGirls · 08/02/2009 20:56

the powder comes in a sachet and you kind of fold it so it slides onto the tongue (like you fold newspaper so get glitter back into the tube) it takes about 10 mins max for it to take effect, also handy for when they're feeding and the spoon or teat is putting them off.

inscotland · 08/02/2009 20:57

OK. As for medised we do have some. Given to me by my local boots with no questions asked. I didn't know it was for 2 years + as I still had an old packet which said 3 months plus.

It did help with his cold when he had it.

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LoveMyGirls · 08/02/2009 21:02

i don't know why they canged it tbh as I and every other mum I know has found it a godsend but there you go.

I would use it on my under 2yr old if I had one again (not that I'm planning on it though)

inscotland · 08/02/2009 21:07

Without starting a debate on it I will use it because I only found out that the guidelines had changed through a thread on here (after I had given it to my boy).

Personally I feel if it was bad for an under 2 then the first thing to change would be the packaging but that's my opinion and I don't want it to end up being a big debate!

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pavlovthecat · 08/02/2009 21:10

I used it when DD was under 2, before they changed it. I used it every now and again when she really really needed it, and it did her no harm. It was a godsend if I am honest.

pavlovthecat · 09/02/2009 12:35

How was it last night inscotland? I hope you got a better nights sleep.

inscotland · 09/02/2009 15:40

After my 1.5 hours getting him to sleep - he finally fell asleep at 8.10 pm he then woke at 9.20 and then at 11 pm. He woke just as hubby was going to bed at 1.20 am and then again at 5 am. He came in with us and slept on and off until 7.20.

I don't mind the little wakenings and him coming in with us I just hate the long wakenings and then him getting all upset. Awful.

OP posts:
kalo12 · 09/02/2009 22:00

inscotland - i sympathise, my dh works nights too so in same boat and sleep training is impossible when you are on your own every night isn't it. its enough to get them to be at all so that you can eat!!

Anyway I have been there - in tears at wits end. my ds is 12 months now. Sleep is just as bad if not worse (wakes every 1.5 hours now sleeps in my bed every night, dh is another room)

what i will say is that it is really such a short time in a childs life and actually it won't be forever and I have resigned myself to no sleep for 5 years - if i have another baby -

I go to bed at 8 o clock but i can't really sleep in between the wakings anymore and survive on about 1 hour sleep a night.
I have had pnd for 6 months but am better now

What i am trying to say is that I have become the worls most laid back mum where sleep is concerned and its much better.

one day when my husband is on holiday i will think about sleep training

My sister has 4 kids I told her my ds doesn't sleep . She said ' babies don't'
I said what can you do about it?
she said ' nowt!'
thats the best advice I've had

good luck. Be brave.
At least you can have beer - I'm stiff bf-ing a dairy intolerant little lord!

inscotland · 10/02/2009 11:46

Thanks Kalo.

He took 5 hours to get to sleep last night and ended up in with us again.

He does seem to settle better if we put him on his side so I am going to try that tonight.

OP posts:
kalo12 · 10/02/2009 19:02

oh god!
have you thought about food sensitivities?

I have this great book called 'digestive wellness for children'
and another called 'what can i feed my baby' by suzannah oliver

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