Spell it out for me: how do you have baby sleeping in your bed and avoid risk of SIDS?

[EightiesChick]

As far as I can see, 'co-sleeping' can be used to mean both baby sleeping in your bedroom and actually in the bed with you. I'm in a bit of a quandry because my 3 week old DS drops off to sleep esily after feeding, so often in my arms, or in bed lying across me or on a pillow at my side (if doing football hold). So when feeding during the night it's easy and tempting to just leave him to sleep and to doze off myself, rather than waking him up again by moving him back into his moses basket next to the bed. From what I can tell lots of posters here have their babies in bed, yet how does this square with SIDS advice? My health visitor, who I really respect, has said he should only sleep in his moses basket. My midwife this morning has said not to worry too much as long as he won't roll off or get stuck in a position where he could suffocate. So how do you arrange things to be safe if your baby's in your bed? Do you keep them clear of the duvet? Where do you put pillows? Sorry if this is too obvious a question but I honestly don't know and want to be safe but also practical about getting some sleep when I can.

UK figures on SIDS and co-sleeping are utterly mucked up by including sleeping in a chair or on a sofa with your baby along with sleeping in a bed with your baby. So unless you are very aware of the data limitations, they give an unecessarily dangerous view of co-sleeping.

Falling asleep on a chair / sofa with your baby is the most dangerous option in terms of SIDS or overlaying.

If in bed with you, your baby should be on a firm surface (so no to waterbeds should that be a possibility!), and not in danger of overheating. So not under your duvet, but in a grobag or own blanket. And not on a pillow, or with his head on your pillow. And on his back, just as he would be in a cot or basket.

Do not co-sleep if you or your partner have been drinking / smoking (even outside the house) / have taken drugs.

Most mothers curl around their baby, and there is some evidence that the breathing rates and body temperatures of mother and baby regulate one another when co-sleeping.

Countries with a norm of co-sleeping (Japan for eg) have far lower SIDS rates than the UK.

But, the official advice is baby in the same room as you for the first 6 months (so room sharing, not co-sleeping). I assume this is down to lack of good data on co-sleeping, and a risk minimisation attitude - there is nothing wrong or dangerous about room sharing, but some health professionals believe the jury is still out on co-sleeping.

Yes, keep them clear of the duvets and pillows and most of all, make sure that you are not drunk / on medication etc (if you are smoker, that also increases the risk).

Have you seen this article here ?

If you get a minute, have a look at some of the stuff by Dr J McKenna who has done loads of research on co-sleeping and has guidelines on safe co-sleeping. I found it reassuring and useful and I now have my DS (9 weeks) in with me if he is unsettled at night. I have done since he was about 3 weeks and it made it a lot easier during a recent a recent growth spurt when he was feeding evry hour and a half . I will try and post the link but am new to this so hope it works!! www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/faq.html

Good luck and happy sleeping!!

Agree with Riven. I co-slept with both of my newborns until they were about 3 months old. Because we don't have a kingsize bed and DH is very large, I'm afraid that meant DH had to sleep in the spare room for those few months. (Am sure he was secretly pleased tho as he got pretty much unbroken sleep which is an utter luxury with a newborn in the house).

The babies were placed high in the bed, nowhere near a pillow or my duvet, in their own sleeping bag.

Basically to stay safe while bedsharing, you need to understand the risks, which are:

Suffocation

• You must not sleep on a waterbed or other very soft surface, make sure your mattress is firm. I can't remember what the consensus is on memory foam.
• If you are overweight to a point that your mattress dips and baby rolls towards you, consider whether that is a risk. (I think everyone makes a slight dip in the mattress though!)
• If you have your lower arm straight out, between baby and pillows, it stops them wriggling up and suffocating under the pillows. You will probably do this naturally anyway. (See pic on my profile if confused!) Also most mothers will bend their legs around the baby to prevent them wriggling down under the covers.
• If you use duvets, keep them away from the baby. I used to have my duvets up to my waist and share the baby blanket further up than that, and wear warm pyjamas.
• Probably me being paranoid but I don't like wearing loose clothing in bed - I wear PJs that button down the front and fold the lower side under myself so that LO is against my bare skin. Easier latching that way too!

Rolling onto the baby
This is really unlikely anyway because you have some kind of awareness in your sleep. You don't fall out of bed, do you? For this reason:

• Alcohol, drugs and some medications can make you sleep more heavily.
• Some medical conditions can make this possibility higher as well, ie sleep apnoea, or anything which could cause fits.
• Small children don't have the same awareness as you do. If you also have a toddler in your bed, sleep between them.
• If you sleepwalk or do fall out of bed, consider another option.

Baby falling out of bed

• Use a guard rail, bedside cot, or have your bed by a wall. Or put the baby between you, but be aware if your partner drinks.
• You could also move your mattress onto the floor.

Baby becoming trapped between cushions, walls, etc

• Check there are no gaps between your mattress and guard rails, walls, bedside cots, etc that your baby could get trapped in. Check them every night in case something has moved.
• Never sleep with your baby on a sofa, chair, etc.

Other dangers

• Don't bedshare if you or your partner smoke, even if you only smoke outside.
• Don't let your baby overheat - check them regularly to make sure they are not sweaty and adjust blankets etc. I found blankets easier to start off with, you will get to know your own baby!
• Make sure your baby sleeps on his side or back (and if he is on his side, that he can't roll onto his front unless you know he can roll back again).

I believe co-sleeping has so many benefits - it is so helpful with breastfeeding, I really haven't felt the effects of night wakings, etc. And when I was being a paranoid mum I could feel him breathing on me, touch him straight away, etc, and know he was fine rather than worrying and having to reach over and check.

We also use a sidecar arrangement and DS goes in there if I have had a drink, or if I want to sleep on my front/cuddle up with DP. In fact most nights he starts in there and comes in with me later.

To begin with, we have a superking sized bed, which makes things easier. And neither DH nor I move a great deal in our sleep.

With a small baby, DH and I each have our own duvet or other cover, and each of us wraps our duvet tightly around us. Then I sleep on my side with arm out perpendicular to my body between the baby and the pillows (this would also alert me if DH were to roll over into the middle of the bed, although he never has). If the baby is on the outside of the bed, I bend that arm and have the baby in the crook of my elbow.