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Sleep

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Original poster

gentle night weaning - is it possibe?

13 replies

Stefka · 28/01/2009 08:56

At 10 months I managed to get my DS to sleep through the night but only by letting him cry. I would leave him for five mins, then ten then fifteen and if he still wasn't asleep then I woudl BF him. He was usually asleep after ten minutes though so it didn't feel too bad and by the third night it wasn't really an issue.

At one he started to teeth and I went back to feeding him in the night because it was the easiest way to comfort him. Now he is 15 months and is back to waking up every couple of hours to feed. I have thought about repeating what I did before but he really screams now when I leave him so I give in after a few minutes. I would love to get some sleep though.

If you night weaned how did you do it so that it wasn't a complete nightmare? I don't mind leaving him to grumble and cry a bit but he gets himself in a state and I am not happy to leave him like that. Any suggestions?

OP posts:

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PuzzleRocks · 28/01/2009 10:11

Bumping for you.

lorisparkle · 29/01/2009 10:02

You could try gently teaching him other ways to get to sleep (rocking him for a couple of nights, holding him, stroking him in his cot, sitting by his cot, sitting by the door, sitting just outside the door) as well as gently increasing the length of times between feeds (2 hourly, 2hrs 15, 2hrs 30 etc) I did this with DS1 when he was 9 months and he has been pretty consistent at sleeping through since about 15 months (although i was slower than they suggest and illness / holidays slowed progress as well). There is a great book called 'teach your child to sleep' by Hamlyn which goes through different sleep techniques.

With DS2 it is a different story - I have not got the energy to try!

chatti · 29/01/2009 13:40

We have just (fingers crossed) night weaned DS 11 months. I co-slept and BF through the night but couldn't handle it anymore so DP took a week off work to help. I slept in a different room and he handled all the night waking by comforting, rocking occasional offer of water. It worked! We are 5 nights in and he hasn't had a drop of milk from 7.30pm - 7am. He did cry the first night when he woke up but each night he has woken up less and less and last night he just woke the once. Miracle! As he was a 6-7 times a night boy. We are now on stage two... trying to get him self settling and sleeping in his cot. Tricky but I don't believe I can co-sleep and not bf during the night. Hope of some help.

ThingOne · 29/01/2009 13:50

I failed with the supposedly gentle Dr Jay Gordon method but succeeded with the cuddles in bed with Daddy method. Did this with both. DS1, c 15months. DS2? Who knows. Second child. Could have been 10 months, could have been 14 .

milki · 29/01/2009 21:00

We have just successfully night weaned DD (nearly 12 months) very gently, basically dropped one feed every few days - took her lead as she just happened to sleep through the 10.30pm feed twice in a row so I just didn't feed her again at that time. DP went and settled her, which got easier each time. Then I stopped feeding her to sleep (again DP did the honours) and finally dropped her 1.30/2am ish feed. Seems to have worked (touch wood) as she will go through the night now or if she does wake it only takes a little shush and pat to get her back to sleep. We had tried night weaning cold turkey style a few months ago and it didn't work. The recent success has coincided with dropping all but one (first thing in the morning) breastfeed, that might have helped too I suppose. Good luck

Original poster

Stefka · 30/01/2009 21:17

How does your DH get your DD to sleep then? DH will sometimes settle him in the early evening by rocking him to sleep.

OP posts:

milki · 02/02/2009 22:28

Hi Stefka, sorry only just noticed that you had asked me a question...

I think DP walks and rocks DD to sleep, and hums a bit (he has his own way of doing it, thinks a deep hum helps)
He has managed to settle her from day one when I've been at wits end in middle of night etc. and persevered in early days when she really wanted boob (to suckle, not feed) but I really needed a rest so it helped that she was used to that I think.
I can settle her with a cuddle and rock now if she gets in a tizz at night - couldn't do that before as she just wanted/expected a feed, but am happy to say that (touch wood again!) it really doesn;t happen much any more.

How's it going with DS?

milki · 02/02/2009 22:33

Oh, meant to say that she has now has a bottle at bedtime which makes her very sleepy and we try to put her down at the mystical sleepy but awake stage, to help her learn how to settle herself.

luvaduck · 03/02/2009 14:09

watching with interest
could have written your OP stefka
'tis exhausting

chatti -was he taking a lot of milk at night?
thingone - how long did it take??

chatti · 03/02/2009 22:37

Hi Luvaduck. I think my son got into the habit of using milk to get himself back to sleep. As we co-slept I would often just fall aslepp after he had latched on and then I'd wake up an hour later and he would still be latched on! So not sure how much milk he was actually having. Although he has upped his daytime feeds since we night weaned so I guess he had enough during the night to need to replace it.

IAteMakkaPakka · 03/02/2009 22:43

Stefka I was on here in the middle of the night a few days ago snivelling about this same issue - I had just had enough of the incessant sucking and it's bloody exhausting, so we decided to try and go cod turkey at night with DP comforting DS.

It was a huge failure, mainly because DS only really wants to feed when he is teething - so I only get fed up when he's teething. Between bouts of teething he's much less bothered about feeding and I get more rest. So I decided to just try and swallow the night feeds for now and then maybe if DS has a period of sustained better sleep we will give him a bit of a shove in the right direction then. DP is supportive of this, so hopefully he'll help keep me calm in the middle of the night!

I do sympathise though, it's really rotten. Sorry, I realise this is not very helpful! Maybe the MNers on the new extended feeders thread will have suggestions?

kalo12 · 09/02/2009 22:14

lorisparkle - when you were spreading out the night feeds 15 mins was there crying / screaming for 15 mins?

chatti = how long did it take each night?

PortAndLemon · 09/02/2009 22:18

We did cuddles in bed with Daddy, but DS was older (nearly 2 -- he'd actually more-or-less nightweaned himself at around 9-10 months but then kind of de-nightweaned himself from 18 months or so once he restarted cosleeping).

I would be determinedly asleep and DH would cuddle DS and say "Mummy's sleeping; it's time to sleep. Sleep now and you can have a feed in the morning."

First night it took about three hours (on and off). Second night about 45 minutes. Third night abut ten minutes. It was fine after that.

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