Negative comments about co-sleeping - any help please?

[iamaLeafontheWind]

I like co-sleeping with breast fed 5 month DD & i think she sleeps better than she would on her own, esp while we were getting through the 4 month growth spurt (with Mumsnet help). However I'm getting comments from older female family members along the lines of "shouldn't she be in her cot by now" and "wouldn't she sleep better in her own bed". I have no basis of comparison - are they right?

Well, they might be and they might not - you'll never know because there are no hard and fast rules.
My DD slept great in her own cot and went through very early. Other people's babies sleep well by co-sleeping. Some babies do not sleep through for a long time and their mothers survive that experience by co-sleeping!

It's about what works for you. It would not have been for me but if you are happy to continue with her in your bed, where is the harm?

MrsHappy is right - it's what's right for you. My DS sleeps in his cot most of the time now (he's nearly 2) because he's snuffly and snorey and frankly keeps me awake at night. Not because he should be there.

There is no 'should' when it comes to a baby's sleep IMO, it's what works for you and your baby. Tell them to sod off. Or smile and say you're happy which is a more grown up response

I usually say "oh I don't want her in a little bed with bars all by herself, I love waking up with her warm little body curled up next to me, it's great!"

I'm cosleeping with number 3 now no one asks me about it anymore

Like sweetkitty, I play up the positives (dd, nearly 3, still comes into bed with us nearly every some nights) "I wake up with her arms round my neck - she might not need it, but I'm not ready to give it up!"

She wakes up and smiles at me, it is nice.

Smiling is gorgeous. When they get older, it's even more lovely. My DS came into bed with me this morning, put his arms round my neck and went back to sleep for a few hours. It really doesn't get any better than that

Lovely

The alternative route (I did this with a friend who really wouldn't get her head round co-sleeping) is to just say 'yeah, sleeping's going much better thanks, or something similar when asked - vague enough not to actually be a lie, but makes them feel better!

My older two were happy to sleep in their cots and both slept through from an early age. DS2 on the other hand is co-sleeping as it's the only way I get some sleep.

Like others have said if it works for you it works, and they should mind their own!!

not sure how you could convince them though, older generations are a bit set in their ways and views on things. File their copmments alongside the "rusk in the bottle will help them sleep" and "that (10wk old) child needs some solid food" type comments and just smile and nod

Agree - keep it vague

I have also said things like "Oh co-sleeping is great for all sorts of reasons, in fact I have an excellent book about it, if you're interested in borrowing it?" (In fact one friend is borrowing my book now after a similar conversation )

My DS never liked to sleep in a cot. Even when he was a tiny tiny thing. He would scream and cry and sweat (once for nearly 2 hours when a friend told me I should bite the bullet and let him cry!) and then collapse when I finally laid him down in our bed. After that, I never tried NOT to sleep with him. He's 6 (yes!) and I still sleep with him. It works for us. DH is a terrible sleeper - up all night, tossing and turning. We all sleep much better. My mil kept saying how terrible it must be for our marriage but actually, it's probably saved our marriage because everyone sleeps soundly through the night! You do what's right for you. It's the most natural thing in the world for children to sleep with their parents.

I mentioned this thread to the older family member and she actually used the Rod for own back phrase. I'm so disappointed in her .

I have been co-sleeping for four years now and my mil STILL makes comments like this every blooming time I see her.I love sleeping with my babies,its natural to want your baby sleeping next to you,and its lovely to wake up with them.I think its a bit odd to put a small baby in another room anyway.All over the world humans co-sleep,and all through the mammal world animals co-sleep,we just live in a really child unfriendly society.all those old ladies who coo "they grow up so fast" with yearning voices,and yet there is so much pressure to get babies to grow up before their time.Enjoy your time sleeping next to your baby and don't let negative comments bother you,I think sometimes they are fuelled by jealousy more than anything else.