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How to get nearly-three-year-old off milk at bedtime and in night ...?

9 replies

PiperG · 24/01/2009 19:53

My lovely almost three year old DD is an OK sleeper, but often does not go all night - she wakes (often from dreams I think at mo) and needs a cuddle, and also some milk - she has had milk at bedtime since birth and we have never managed to get her off it, and then somehow we slipped into letting her have it at night as well (there's some in a beaker by her bed, so we give it to her when we go in for a cuddle).

I know this is a terrible habit and am now getting fed up with her waking at night and very aware that waking for the milk must have a lot to do with it. How to get her off it though without enormous tantrums and difficulties ...? Or do we just have to bite the bullet and do it? I really want her to sleep consistently all night long and I don't think she is ever going to do this with the milk (plus it's terrible for her teeth).

She's very good at going to sleep on her own, we just have stories and milk and then tuck her in and her thumb goes in and off she goes ... but we've had enough of giving this very big girl milk at night! Any ideas would be hugely appreciated. Many thanks.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
fishiedewar · 24/01/2009 20:00

if milk is beside her bed why are you giving it to her, can't she just help herself? or do you mean bf?

what nap is she having?

Nemoandthefishes · 24/01/2009 20:02

I have just stopped givings dds[just 2+3.1] milk in the night. All I did was offer them water and told them no milk. Their bedtime cup of milk they still have as does ds who is 5.3yrs and I dont see any issue with that.

pop1973 · 24/01/2009 20:02

What we did just was give the lo a warm cup of milk and story, tuck up in bed and then gave a really small tommy tipee of cold milk in the bed.

Often found that the lo would leave the cold milk and as it was in a tommy tipee it wouldnt leak.

Had a few tantrums for a couple of nights but then no problem.

PiperG · 24/01/2009 20:04

No she has a beaker of milk - but of course it's infinitely preferable to have mum or dad come in too and give her a cuddle as well, so she's not interested in helping herself. She does still have a nap, usually at least half an hour at some point in the pm, but I don't think this has any impact any more on the way she sleeps at night.

OP posts:
Nemoandthefishes · 24/01/2009 20:05

meant to add I have also reduced them both to a strict 30 min nap in the day.For the first 2 nights it was rough but I stuck with just offering water since then its now been 2 weeks of a full nights sleep going to sleep at 8pm and waking any time between 6.30-7.30am.
I wish I had been more consistent a long time ago.

PiperG · 24/01/2009 20:06

Thanks Nemo and Pop for your posts. I do think perhaps we just need to bite the bullet and say no more milk, except that bedtime one. I am pretty sure she will be really cross about that but hopefully after a few nights she'll just get used to it!

OP posts:
Shitemum · 24/01/2009 20:14

Decide on what you want and then gradually change her routine e.g. put less and less milk in the beaker each night or water it down and reduce it. If she cries and needs you to go back to sleep in the middle of the night you might have to do some form of CC or GW, tho she is a bit big for this and if she can get out of the cot then it'll be difficult.
Whatever changes you make it is going to upset her to some extent but after a few nights she'll be used to the new routine and then it should be ok from then on...
Or rather than do everything gradually you could do cold turkey on all fronts which will be more painful in the short term but maybe quicker overall in the long.
Good luck.

fishiedewar · 24/01/2009 20:17

when faced with similar things i have had most success when just saying it. so there will be no more milk at night. but instead there will be all the milk at bedtime. or an extra story.

vicky762 · 24/01/2009 23:02

i have just faced this exact problem. My 3 yr old DS was still having a bottle to settle and waking up for a bottle of milk in the middle of the night; it sounds ridiculous, i know, but it was just a habit that persisted. The crunch came when my DD was born (now 5 months) and the amount of nocturnal disruption was just reaching ridiculous levels ! When I was speaking to HV about baby's sleeping, i accidentally let it slip about DS still having a "feed" and she flipped ! I told DS that "the important lady in Baby Clinic who knows everything about keeping babies and children healthy said that now he is a 3 yr old big boy he can have water at night in a cup, not a bottle". i was expecting mega-tantrums, but the first night, he accepted the water with just a bit of whingeing. then he never called again and has slept through since, not even asking for water !
I think soon the "important lady in Baby Clinic" will have to say no bottles when settling at night as well, but one step at a time !

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