Co sleeping....Am I, as DP suggests, just making a rod for my own back????

[kidcreoleandthecoconuts]

I hate that phrase but that's what he said.

My DD is 11 months and up until a month or so ago always slept in her own cot in our room. She would wake once or twice a night for a bf and then happily go back down in her cot to sleep.

Now however she refuses to. She'll go to sleep in her cot for her daytime nap without any fuss and she'll also go down to sleep in her cot in the evening. The problems arise when she wakes for a feed at around midnight and refuses to go back in her cot, screaming and crying, and so I end up having her in our bed. As soon as she gets in our bed the thumb goes in and she's off to sleep.

I dont mind having her in bed with us....in fact I quite like it. Dp thinks im giving in to her and that it will become a habit that cant be broken. I think it's just a phase and that she'll grow out of it.

What's everyone elses experiences?

She'll grow out of it. DS used to part time cosleep (ie would stay after his feed(s)), and once he dropped the feed, he didn't come in. Now he only comes in if he's really ill etc

No my dd slept in with us from nearly newborn until 8 months, then again from 2 until 2 1/2

She cried about the transistion the second time but as she had a good routine in other respects it was fine

she is 4 now and still comes to have a cuddle sometimes whilst im still in bed but hardly ever before 7am!

So no you are not necessarily 'making a rod' - Id say go for it if it works for you and preferably dh too

kidcreoleandthecoconuts, DD (10 months) is doing exactly the same thing, the last time she spent the whole night in her own bed was NYE, she comes in when she wont settle and screams partway through the night... we dont resist anymore as I cannot cope with the crying.

cmotdibbler - When you say they grow out of it, did you do anything to help them grow out of it? Or did they gradually just stop it themselves?

Well my dd is 20mo and is still getting into bed with me every night. IMVHO, it becomes more difficult. Over time, she has stopped going in her cot at the beginning of the night, and now we can't get her to nap in there either.

But maybe my dd is the exception...

ocho- I cant cop with the crying either. Also I dont want her to wake up DS.

i dont know of many teenagers who cosleep so she will stop eventually... and my parenting theory is to do what you have to do to make your life easy, when things get out of hand you can always change them at a later date if you are unhappy with the arrangement... however, you need to be both on board otherwise it's hard on you as a couple.

discuss with DP what your approach and instincts are and how he is planning to help, and see if you can find a mutually satisfactory compromise?

I didn't do anything - he stopped feeding to sleep himself ( I did do NCSS to help him settle in his cot at this stage as he didn't feed to sleep at bedtime, but couldn't quite get himself to sleep on his own), dropped his feeds on his own etc.

But I was happy for him to have a feed in the night till he dropped it - which was 18 months.