7 year old can't get off to sleep - can anyone help

[BananaSkin]

x posted

DS1 is 7.5 - bright and sensitive. He's never been big on sleep and doesn't seem to need much, but his inability to get off to sleep is really beginning to wear us down.

He goes to bed 8.30/9pm. If DH and I go quietly to the study on our PCs and don't move for 30-45 mins, and if his brothers are already asleep, all is often well. But if we change this at all (i.e I had a very rare bath and read a book quietly in the bath - plus his brother started sleep talking loudly), then he can be still awake at 10 or 11 o'clock. The problem is that we end up getting to bed late if we sit in the study and wait for him to go to sleep until 11pm, then we get up late so he can sleep, and the whole day starts off disastrously.

Additionally, DH is away a lot and I just can't afford the time to sit around waiting for him to sleep - I have too much to do & can't cope with the 1 or 2am bedtimes I have been having recently. Even the slightest noise will keep him awake.

I'm also wondering if we are doing him a disservice by being so quiet. Once he's away from home he will have to learn to sleep through noise (we live in a very quiet road with no traffic at all). I wonder if I should be getting him to go to sleep through noise now, or whether that comes later.

Can anyone help please?

I am bumping for you as you must be at your wits end!

All I can think is that he is too used to absolute silence so now there are others around he struggles with the noise. How you overcome that I really do not know. Soft music at bedtime? Story CD? etc.

I would actually put him to bed earlier, encourage him to read a book, listen to some relaxing music (like the reflexology or meditation cds), or a story cd. He sounds overtired and therefore possibly hypersensitive and overstimulated.

Sometimes, silence only accentuates the disturbing quality of tiny noises. Background noise, like "white noise" can actually drown out the type of sounds that are atartling IYSWIM.

Does he have his own room?

At 7.5, provided he is trustworthy (ie to stay in his room and not wander about)I think it would be better to leave him to his own devices and let him learn to settle himself down.

Startling , (not atartling).

Does he read in bed? My two eldest like to read until they get sleepy. Perhaps he finds it harder to get to sleep when he feels under pressure to be asleep iyswim.

Thanks all (and for bumping callmeovercautious). Forgot to say that we have started 'cocoa time' to wind down, where he and I sit with just a candle and have cocoa.

I did leave him with my relaxation tape once but he just reappeared half and hour later to tell me he had finished it!

Yes, he probably does feel pressure to be asleep, because we are beginning for get fed up with it! Reading in bed is an idea - and we should get some music or white noise sorted out, I guess.