Regular waking during night makes no sense to us or DD.

[DaftMule]

Not sure if there's any advice for us really and apologies for the long waffle, but it would be interesting to see if others have suffered our current sleep problems with DD.

Our 27 month old DD has generally been a pretty bad sleeper for the past 12 to 18 months. Her first bout of teething seemed to be the catalyst and since then we have had very extended periods of broken sleep followed by very short periods of calm. Prior to the start of all this she was generally a very good sleeper. The current poor sleeping pattern has been going on since about August though, with only a week or two of relief around late Oct/early Nov time.

The pattern at it's worst was a regular wake up every 45mins to 1 hr from about middnight to getting up time. Normal is waking up 3 times a night on average. The waking up usually takes the form of DD kneeling in her cot crying and disorientated....often she seems to be not really awake. Often, we are able to sooth her into snuggling down again, other times it escalates to a major melt-down over the period of and hour or two until her sleeping on our bed is the only option to calm her down.

Just after Christmas we made the move from cot to her own bed. She was remarkably relaxed about it but the night time waking has continued...the same pattern of kneeling in bed crying. But now, of course, we often wake up to hear her shuffling about on the landing looking confused and rather pathetic. At these times, she will occasionally go back to bed but more often than not, any attempt to try and pick her up or get her back to bed results in melt-down. She doesn't seem to know what she wants or where she wants to be at these times...even when we tell her she can come and lie on our bed.

There are a few things that worry the wife and I about this pattern (other than a sleep deficit for us both which I don't even want to think about!!).

1. Our DD definitely has breathing issues when on her back asleep. She snores like an old drunk whose been on the port all night and often just stops breathing for 20 seconds or more before giving an enormous snort and starting strained breathing again. She also does this in the car seat. The snort to start breathing often causes her to move restlessly or even semi wake up

2. I don't think it can be the DD yanking our chain for attention. 2 nights ago she slept right through with only 1 whimper which we didn't have to get out of bed for. Then the last 2 nights she has ended up on our bed. It's too random although we can almost guarantee a wake up at around 3.30am.

3. She often asks for Calpol or says her mouth is hurting in the mumbled complaining when she wakes up. Giving her some can help but I don't know if this is a genuine relief of pain or a kind of "crutch" for her.

The biggest concern for us is point 1) and we have been booked in to see an ENT consultant re this. I don't hold out much hope though. Since birth really she has regularly suffered from watering eyes and often has a streaming nose. If it's adenoids then surgery is the only option according to our doc so it may be something we just have to live with. I'm not sure though if he breathing issues are all that keeps waking her up although it can't be doing her any good. Maybe her teeth are still hurting her....she has her final pre-molars to come yet....and that is the problem.

Have to say we are both just knackered and worried and slightly straining at the end of our tethers.

It sounds like you're having a really tough time.

My dd is 30 months, and used to sleep through (not what you want to hear, I know), but for the last 3 months or so, she has been 'waking' at least once a night, and usually 2 or 3 times. I use inverted commas because although she wails for me, and sometimes is actually crying, she is not really awake, or is semi-awake and disorientated. I posted on here about it, and other parents have suggested that she may be having night terrors, which is apparently not uncommon. Added to that, I used to sleep walk until I was well into my teens, so I'm wondering if that tendancy may run in the family.

We noticed that the first waking episode usually happened shortly after we put the landing light out when we went to bed. So we crept around in semi darkness upstairs for a couple of nights, which seems to have broken that pattern. Dd also wakes around 3am most nights. Sometimes I think this is because she is cold, but I'm not sure - putting an extra layer on her at bedtime did seem to help.

I have read, but I haven't tried it, that one way to break a pattern of a child waking at the same is to wake them earlier but not at the same time for a couple of nights. Maybe someone else has experience of this. I value my sleep too much to set an alarm in the middle of the night especially as 3 month old ds is sleeping in our room.

People who snore are more likely to suffer from sleep apnoea, where they briefly stop breathing which wakes them, your ENT consultant should be able to give you some advice on that.

Dd's sleeping pattern is always worse when there is a change to routine - for example, my parents come to stay regularly, and she is always unsettled for a week or more when they go home, and the time I took her out when there was a gas engineer servicing the boiler, who was gone when we got home was a disaster, because she was worried for days about the man and where he had gone, and slept badly as a result.

I hope you do all manage to get consistent sleep soon.

It is mostly likely a combination of things, including the 2-yr molars. I would be quite insistent about the sleep apnoea. It is almost certainly disrupting her sleep, and while surgery is a scary prospect, it can really help apnoea sufferers. From what you describe of her night waking, it does sound like night terrors or some other sleep disorder. Good luck.

Have to say I'm not a fan of the co-sleeping idea. When she ends up in our room she doesn't sleep in our bed. She sleeps on it, between the two of us (or I go and crash on the sofa bed) and we put a blanket over her.

She was only up once last night, at 5am, shuffling about on the landing. She said she wanted to come into our room so I didn't argue. Much as I'm not a fan of co-sleeping, it's anything for a quick return to bed now.

The stupid and frustrating thing is, she loves her new room. She always used to have her morning milk in our bed with us once she was up and about but now she insists on returning to her own room for it...even if she wakes up having come onto our bed in the night.

Another thing about co-sleeping is that we are contemplating #2 (yes...we are devoid of any sense!) and if/when the second comes along we don't want that particular battle if #1 is co-sleeping with us.