How do you put your 22 month old to sleep?

[RoRoMommy]

I have followed AP principles since DS was born. He's 22 months old now. I work FT, as does DH. My mum helps with DS at night sometimes. He has a nanny during the day M-W(half day), then is at nursery W(half day)-F. During the days with nanny, she puts him in cot, tells him to lay down and go to sleep, and with minimal to no whinging, he does it. My mom does the same. At nursery, at noon (even in the light of day), all of the kids go to a little carpet square and lay down and go to sleep on their own, and he's never had any trouble with this.

With me, at night when I put him to sleep (it's always me, BTW, DH does bath time), he is bf to sleep. When he wakes up, recently, he will wail until I come in, and a couple of nights ago he made himself vomit from crying so hard. He is on the boob probably a dozen times a night (maybe it just feels that way, but it's at least six), but is good about sleeping, just comforts himself with boobie.

My mum and DH want him to start to learn to go to sleep the way he does with the nanny and at nursery. I am not so sure, because there will definitely be tears involved and I don't want to "undo" all of the work we've done for AP, secure child, etc. etc.

So, my question is: AP or no, how to do put your 22 month old to sleep, and how did you end up there?

TIA

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I laughed hollowly at the title because my almost 22 mo isn't "put" to sleep at all.. Like you I work FT. DD has a sleep at nursery, in a cot. At home during the day she will only BF to sleep and I put her on the settee. If I put her in her cot she wakes after 5 minutes and screams and screams.

She goes to bed when I do and we co-sleep. She BF to sleep- eventually. Last night it was after midnight before she went off and I think she'd had both sides at least twice. The night before she woke literally every hour to feed (she has a cold).

If you find a solution, please let me know

I'll tell you what, it feels really great to know we're not alone (though I feel bad for saying that and not having any good advice!).

DS gets a story in his sleeping bag and then goes into his cot with his 2 taggies, his gloe dog (it lights up when you press its foot) and any other toys/books he chooses to take with him - currently 2 books and some ben 10 figures his aunt gave him. He then gets his music box switched on and the little projector thing that is attached to it and then I leave the room - it used to be a mobile but converts to just the music box/light when they get too old for the arm bit. He will then play about a bit, chatter and then go to sleep. He is 2.3 years but this routine has gone on from fairly early on. He sometimes has a cup of milk before bed but he has that downstairs before he goes up to brush his teeth so it isnt really part of the bedtime routine.

I'm going to tentatively (sp) offer advice here but I can't really say I'm speaking from experience as my LO is only 4 mths old but this is what I would do myself if I find mself in the same situation. I am currently co-sleeping and breastfeeding myself and intend to do it for as long as he needs it.

At 22mths he is still only a baby and feels safest with you which is why he wants to sleep with you near him and also why he plays up for you.

I would give him what he needs for as long as he needs it because it sounds like he still very much needs his mummy close by.

The breastfeeding is comforting and good for the both of you so try to keep it up for as long as he needs it. He won't be little forever so try and understand his need to be close to you for a while longer. See it as a huge compliment that he still wants and needs these special moments with you and think of the benefits to his emotional development and self-esteem.

I wouldn't count myslef as being AP, but we did do a bit of co-sleeping and i fed my DS (23 months) to sleep for a long time.

I recently stopped bfing him and i give him a cup of milk, we have a little cuddle, sometimes i sing to him and then i put him down in his cot.

What I started doing was bfing him until he was sleepy in another room and then pick him up and carry him into his room so that he was awake when I put him down in the cot. Normally he was quite drowsy and would roll over and go to sleep himself.

I think you need to break the association between feeding and going to sleep. The walk in between the rooms seemed to be enough for my DS.

Thanks to everyone who took the time to answer, I appreciate the varied responses. I completely appreciate that he's still a baby and needs my closeness and comfort, but what I don't understand is why when I am not around he's completely fine just tottering off and having a sleep without any rocking, patting, boobie, milk, etc. It's just my presence that makes him desire these things. I guess it's because I am mummy and hence, for now, no. 1, and the only one who can give this particular combination of comforts, but it does take a toll on DH, and my mum, who do try to contribute when they see that I've had it and need a bit of a break, but he won't accept their comfort if he's even suspicious that I am in the house.

Thanks again. A bit of a rant, but there you go.

I have a 22 month old who similarly demands my comfort if there is any hint I'm around. We have been in your positon until recently, but things are getting better.

The first thing we did was remove the feeding to sleep, so she now has boobie downstairs then upstairs for the rest of the routine - bath (with Dad), potty, nappy, pajamas, teeth, stories (sitting on her bed), then lie down and sleep (sometimes). She accepted this quite happily. However if she is feeling in the slightest bit fragile or overtired the lying down and going to sleep bit can still be fraught, especially if Dad is doing it. Sometimes I have to go and sit with her and suffer endless demands for "Mummy's bed", "pat bottom", "hold hand" etc. We remain firm on this though, even if she still needs to be parented to sleep, it has to be in her bed.

In the last few weeks we have moved further by going through the routine, but trying to avoid too much 'parenting' so she can learn to go to sleep on her own. So we do some 'tidying' in her room whilst providing reassurance. Then gradually move out the door, if she calls or cries we provide reassurance but try not to go back to her room. This now works maybe one time in five - which I call progress.

One thing I think has helped with her accepting her bed is that at about 18 months we took the side off her cot. So she can now climb in and out. This means when she wakes at night for a feed, she climbs out and comes through into our room. Usually she'll have a feed and then I take her back to her bed - she rarely protests this now, unless feeling poorly, so we have all been sleeping better. She still feeds at night at least once though, if she sleeps with us it is usually more like four times!