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DS just turned 4 been coming into our room at least once EVERY night for weeks PLS help!!!

13 replies

shoneshine · 10/01/2009 07:50

Our eldest child was 4 a few weeks ago, he has been a brill sleeper since he was 1 now but has recently started waking in the night, around 1 the first time and walking into our bedroom, banging his bedroom door shut (this make me think he cant be sleep walking!) He shares a room with our 2year old dd who has been sleeping brilliantly the last few weeks since we threw her bottles away (another story!) luckily she stays asleep most times he wakes. When he comes into our room I hush himout quickly hoping not to disturb sleeping dh who has to get up at 5am for work, take him back to bed and tell him not to get out of bed til its day! He goes back off, sometimes wakes/gets up again 5 mins later, sometimes an hour or two later. This is REALLY tiring us out and I have got to the point where I think enough is enough! He is now 4 years old and doesnt even say what is 'wrong' most times! I also have to get up to our ds2 aged 6m though sometimes the baby sleeps better than ds1!
Sometimes he says he doesnt like dreams or sees a horrible face, other times he says hes heard fireworks (there hasnt been any) and other times he says his sister woke hime (wheneva I go in shes fast aslp!) Not sure if these are just excuses. He always has an active day, just started pre school 3 full days a week and we walk everywhere! Have tried incentives (a toy or ben ten advent calender) and threats (will confiscate favourite dvd or toy) he promises not to wake us ever again and says sorry but he still keeps doing it! Im worryed he may be worrying about something? Maybe he needs a bigger bed? Currently sleeping in a plastic toddler fire engine bed (with plasticy sweaty matress) any ideas please??? Sorry for the long thread!!!

OP posts:
PuzzleRocks · 10/01/2009 13:58

Bumping for you.

shoneshine · 10/01/2009 15:13

Thankyou!

OP posts:
Helsbels4 · 10/01/2009 15:28

I don't really know but my dd (3.10) is a bit like this. Does he wake up because he needs the toilet? Or maybe he's not comfortable? My dd doesn't have a problem getting to sleep but just staying asleep but then I'm like that so I just assumed she inherited that from me. Sometimes my dd walks into our room and just stands there staring at us - she's fully awake but it's quite scary sometimes! Does he go straight back to sleep because my dd doesn't. She can stay awake for a couple of hours faffing in her room but I generally leave her to fall asleep by herself - unless she puts her nursery rhyme cd on at full blast! I'm just hoping that she eventually grows out of it. Sorry I couldn't be more help.

horsemadgal · 10/01/2009 15:34

My DS was like this after starting pre-school, said he was dreaming etc. I think he was just overtired. It sorted itself out fairly quickly but I stopped letting him watch Scooby Doo for a while!!
Good luck, hoope it improves for you.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 10/01/2009 15:36

My DD is like this at the moment, we are currently trying a reward chart.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 10/01/2009 15:38

She also talked about a scary man but we have got over that now.

MrsBrendaDyson · 10/01/2009 15:46

TURN them round put them in bed
dont speak to them or actively communicate with them in any way.

my children slept through becuase its better than being awake and being bored!

hellabell · 10/01/2009 20:10

Hmm, was going to start thread asking for help on exactly same issue, dd (3.3) coming into our bed every night. Don't actually mind it in that she is very snuggly and then sleeps soundly with me, but dp left to sleep in her pink bed which is not great... she too has firework issues (no she'd never had bad experience with them) and blue things coming down chimney (?? we don't have a fireplace). So can't actually help you, but am in same boat. Wondered if it was an anxiety thing too as she started playgroup at 3 and had never been apart from me before. Was sort of stressing about getting her in her bed, but watched anne frank thing last week and then docu interviewing holocaust survivors on BBC4, and realised sharply that there are bigger things to worry about in the world, and actually nothing could be nicer than having my baby in bed with me feeling safe and warm. Have told her now she can come in when she wants. Might regret it! Gone on a bit, sorry.

beansontoast · 10/01/2009 20:22

now then...my ds was doing this but he was nearer five and we had some things we could link it to ie starting school,an operation and stuff.

however once those were not considered live issues...I BOUGHT HIS CO OPERATION!

it took us ages to actually chose to do this ,because i thought if he really was scared or really did neeeed me in the night this might not be th ebest thing to do...but anyway we went ahead with it.

im delighted for two reasons a) we all get more sleep b) he can control his behaviour if motivated to!

as i said he was that bit older than your ds...almost a year...dont think id necessarily do this with a four yr old?

so.
he got three 'go gos' for five nights in a row staying in his own bed.and one go go per night on the weekend.

we are in th eprocess of switching the reward ...which is where we might come unstuck

treedelivery · 10/01/2009 20:29

Exactly same here which makes me think it's developmental and processing busy days. My dd complains of dreams and noises etc.

I think we need to ride it out. Bummer!

2HotCrossBunnies · 10/01/2009 20:39

And here too! We are just trying to be consistent and hopefully in time it will sort itself out. We have a glimmer of hope in that maybe once or twice a week he will stay put...or maybe he's teasing us!

mugglewump · 12/01/2009 13:31

Our 4.5 dd is doing this too! Wandering in at any time betweeen 1 and 3am with a variety of excuses (wanting a drink of water/wee, bed unconfortable/too hot/too cold, can't sleep or just wants a hug and a cuddle..

Although she is usually settled within half an hour, it is soooo draining and dh and I are both exhausted.

We are rewardnign stars for sleeping through but the reward chart thing is not working. Any ideas or solice??

shoneshine · 13/01/2009 08:44

He didnt do it for one night,yay I thought bt then hes woken about 1 the last 2 nights.It is frustrating. My babies waking 2-3 times too so Im shattered. Ds1 settlrs rite away at least tho!

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