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Sleep

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Original poster

Anyone find the 10.30pm late night feed didn't work for them?

25 replies

Jane7 · 06/01/2009 16:10

Not sure whether to carry on waking my three month old ds for a feed at 10.30pm. I dread it as he can be tricky to settle afterwards (he usually poos, does a sicky burp and then is wide awake) and I'm not convinced it makes him last much longer. He's usually up for a feed at about 3am whatever I do, and then again at about 7am. Is it mad not to wake him when I go to bed at 10pm if he's been asleep since 7.30pm? Did anyone else out there not bother doing a late night feed and just let their lo wake when they wake?

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PortAndLemon · 06/01/2009 16:11

I have never woken a baby at night to feed it.

izzybiz · 06/01/2009 16:15

My Ds 15 weeks usually goes down about 8pm then wakes anywhere between 1am-3am, last night though he woke again at 10-45 fed, then woke again at 2-30 and 6-30!

I wouldn't bother waking a sleeping baby!!

Dropdeadfred · 06/01/2009 16:16

why are you doing this? what time would he wake up if you didn't?

theowlwhowasafraidofthedark · 06/01/2009 16:17

It works for us, but I think dd would wake up within half an hour of 10.30 anyway. It sounds like it's causing you more stress than benefit.

BlameItOnTheBogey · 06/01/2009 16:19

We never got on with it either so we stopped and just fed when he woke up. Worked well for us and he started waking up progressively later. He now sleeps through 8-7am.

Ceebee74 · 06/01/2009 16:21

Ds2 is nearly 7 weeks old and, for the last couple of nights, has point blank refused any milk (lips clamped shut, if I can get the bottle in he dribbles the milk straight back out again) - and he has actually slept better waking only once about 3ish for a feed and then again sometime after 6 (which is when we start the day anyway thanks to DS1) - previously I was feeding him at 10ish and he would wake at 1 and 4 for a feed.

So tonight, I am not even going to bother trying - much better for me as it means I can have an early night

doggiesayswoof · 06/01/2009 16:21

I got into the habit of waking dd for a feed just before I went to bed because she wasn't putting weight on.

Then when I had ds I thought that if I woke him for a feed, there would be more chance of him sleeping through, or at least a bit longer. (Weight wasn't an issue for him at all)

It made no difference - like your ds, he would wake about 3am no matter what I did.

Since he was just over 3 months we've let him sleep from 7.30/8pm til whenever he wakes up and we're all more relaxed - I like it because we can have the odd early night instead of staying up to feed him.

I'd let him sleep IIWY.

RumMum · 06/01/2009 16:22

It worked for me, but mine didn't poo.. its probably the changing him that wakes him, especially in this cold weather!
I used to feed in a darkened room, no chatting, just snuggling...burp.. give last ounce and put back down....

Original poster

Jane7 · 06/01/2009 16:23

oh right. sounds like there are people who don't do it - I assumed everyone woke their babies for a late night feed so that both mum and baby went to sleep with a full stomach. maybe i'll stop...i must admit, i start to dread it as all i want to do by 10pm is collapse next to my snoring baby, not wake him up and feed him.
in answer to dropdeadfred, at best my lo has gone down at 8pm and lasted until 4.30am so I know he can go this long, but usually, if i dont' wake him for a 10.30pm feed, he wakes any time between 1am and 3am

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SydneyB · 06/01/2009 16:26

There is a theory that the first stretch of sleep is the longest and if you disrupt that then you kind of break it. DS's first sleep is always the longest and once he wakes from that he's up every 2 hours after whether he wakes at 1 or 5. Did it with DD as she tended to wake at that time anyway but then forgot one night, she didn't wake, and it made not a jot of difference. Also means you can't go to bed early.

dinkystinky · 06/01/2009 17:19

Never bothered with a late night feed (DH tried it once and it didnt work as he poured the milk over baby so I got woken by furious soaked hungry baby and sheepish DH!) - DS tended to cluster feed like crazy in the early evening and then sleep through to around 3.30ish which was good enough for me.

JingleBonesJun · 06/01/2009 20:50

We tried it a few times but DD didn't sleep longer so we abandoned it. I didn't want to stay up until 10.30 anyway!

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 07/01/2009 17:06

we dream feed ds (10wks) at 10:30 - 11pm so don't need to wake him. Am too scared to drop it in case he starts waking earlier, it's nice being able to feed and put him down without having to re settle!!

eisbaer · 07/01/2009 20:07

I always woke my DS1 for a feed then, and it meant his next feed was about four a.m. then gradually five, then six, then eventually seven. I only dropped it after he was on solids. I was too scared that he'd waken through the night again if I tried it before then. Who knows if he would have or not?
However I had a pal who couldn't be bothered with doing it and her wee girl went quickly to sleeping 7 - 7 (at about eight weeks, lucky ***!!!)Breastfed too.
My DS2 is a bit of an enigma and if we wake him to feed at 10.30 p.m. he's not hungry enough to take a decent feed that would push him longer. However on other nights he'll wake up at half nine starving and then we have no milk expressed. What this has taught me is that babies are the ones in control, they just let us think we are sometimes.

RumMum · 08/01/2009 20:23

eisbaer.. thats what I did with my children, the 4am feed soon become 5am then when they were sleeping through till 7am, I brought the 1030pm dream feed earlier half an hour each week till they were going 7pm -7am

eisbaer · 09/01/2009 12:43

Wonder if anyone's got any advice for me. As mentioned, my DS2 can be erratic, but generally he'll wake about 10.30 - 11 p.m. ish and take a good feed, however he's back up again at 2, then 4, then 6. He used to be only up once during the night, but this is becoming the new pattern. and he feeds much less and less frequently during the day. Any tips on how to get back to only being up once between, say, 11.30 and 6 and doing most of the feeding during the day? He's breastfed, apart from the 10.30 p.m. feed. And please don't bother posting if you're going to say "a baby wakes when it needs to wake and should be fed whenever he/she cries for it" etc because I personally believe that, for me, that way grumpiness and misery lie.

RumMum · 09/01/2009 12:55

I think that maybe the idea would be to wake him.. well not wake really, just pick him up so he stirs then feed him before he wakes up properly. I wouldn't change him unless he'd pooed, keep the room dark and don't talk to him... just snuggle...

eisbaer · 09/01/2009 13:39

So you think lift him before he wakens to pre-empt it? hadn't thought of that.

Original poster

Jane7 · 09/01/2009 15:55

eisbaer - how old is your DS2? Also, does he fall asleep feeding. I find that if mine does, he's more likely to wake up wondering where his source of grub went.

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eisbaer · 09/01/2009 19:14

He is only sixteen weeks, so I'm not in the biggest rush to do anything yet really. just a bit despairing today as had very little sleep last night.
He has been ill a few times too, so I'm alot softer on him than I was on his big bro in terms of just rushing to feed him asap every time he whimpers.
But I'm going to go back to waking him at 10.30 p.m., making sure he doesn't fall asleep on the boob(thanks Jane7, sometimes I forget the obvious) and seeing if he then has his longest stretch between then and, say, 3. If I see a difference I'll post it for anyone else reading the thread for themselves. Thanks for all advice so far!

eisbaer · 09/01/2009 19:17

and please Jane7 post how you get on with your LO.

Original poster

Jane7 · 09/01/2009 20:15

thanks eisbaer, my lo is almost 14 weeks. i've been struggling to prevent him from falling asleep feeding at 7.30pm. he's so tired a few minutes of boob and i see his eyes rolling
lately i've been taking him off so his eyes are at least briefly open and then he falls asleep almost immediately on my shoulder, before i put him down in the cot. do you think this counts as not feeding to sleep.
he's had some terrible nights recently, like yours, waking at 1.30am, 3,30am and than again at 5, but sometimes he does this incredible thing of sleeping from 7.30pm until 4am. what's weird is that there is absolutely no pattern to his sleeps.
anyway, do keep in touch with your lo's progress eisbaer. you sound much more expert at all this than me. this is my first and it's such a steep learning curve. keeping my fingers crossed for your sleeping tonight

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DwayneDibbley · 09/01/2009 20:25

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eisbaer · 11/01/2009 09:55

Jane7 it has made me feel MUCH better to read that your LO is as erratic as mine, as I'm very teary today after a week of frequent night wakings and just feel like we're never going to get, never mind a full night's sleep, ,five hours uninterrupted again!!! No expert by the way, I can't really remember a year ago, but my first was easier to get into a pattern, i'm convinced, although my husband maintains he was hard work too.
at the moment I just feel like I'm doing something wrong which is making him regress instead of stretch out. And, just let me get this moan off my chest then I'll leave you to enjoy your Sunday, the thing that bugs me most is that this week i've trying to keep him awake more and not just put him down straight away when he gets grumpy and sleepy, and his sleep's been worse than ever.

Original poster

Jane7 · 12/01/2009 18:29

good to get moan off your chest eisbaer. don't be discouraged. i think this sleep thing is hard to cope with because it's essentially out of our control. i like to rationalise it and think he slept well taht night because of this and badly the next because of that, but basically, i don't have a clue. keep me in touch with how things get on. personally, i find that the more my lo sleeps the more he needs to sleep, so keeping him awake more wouldn't work. in fact, the best nights i've had have been when he's had a power nap at about 6pm for half an hour so he's been awake enough to take a big feed at half seven. most people would say it was mad to let a baby sleep past 6pm unless it was the start of their night, but it works for me. anyway, keep in touch - and good luck with it!

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