Getting DS into a routine

[Alieight]

I am due to return to work in a month's time, and DS (will then be 6 months) will be going to nursery full-time. So far, we have been the least routiney pair I know: he goes down for the night anytime between 9pm and midnight, sleeps till between 8am and 10am, will then usually have a nap for between 1-2hours, have at least one and more often two naps at some point during the day, usually around 2ish for a couple of hours and occasionally around 6ish for a couple of hours. He's fed on demand, which can be anything from 1 hour to 4.

For his morning nap he usually goes down quite happily wide awake and will settle himself with no help from me. However I have to feed him to sleep for his afternoon naps and at night. If I try to put him down awake he screams the house down.

I'd be happy to continue all of this if he weren't going to nursery soon, and I'm worried that he just won't nap at nursery and get over-tired and unhappy. And there have been days when he just won't nap, and will be awake for 10 hours at a time, unless I lie down to feed him and stay there while he's napping.

So I suppose I have two questions:

1. How can I get him to sleep in the afternoon and evening? Rocking, cuddling, anything that involves him being horizontal don't work - he just gets upset, and being held upright on my shoulder doesn't make him sleepy.
2. Should I try putting him in a set sleeping routine (naps at the same time every day etc) and how exactly do I do that? Should I start the routine first and try sorting out the settling thing later?

Thanks in advance for any help.

Sorry - re naps should read around 2ish for a couple of hours and around 6ish for half an hour.

My DS is 7 months and we have been working up to a routine since 3 months. Fortunately he was able to self settle for naps and sleep through the evening, but lately, he is needing to be patted off with his music on. I am trying really hard not to do this all the time but it is difficult as he tends to do the screaming the house thing down too.

Not sure what to suggest really re sleeping through the day. I would speak to the nursery staff and see what they say/advise. As he will be with them for those sleeps, it may be worth asking them to watch out for any patterns and then leave it to them.

I am not strict about sleep times, but I am strict about the way the bedtime routine goes. DS has his dinner around 5 then a bath with DD. He then has a bottle at 6:30 and is in bed, swaddled and with his music on by 7:00. He does still wake up at 10/11 for another bottle but I try to catch him before he is wide awake because then he is easier to put back.

I did the exact opposite of that when DD was a baby and she didn't sleep through until she was 13 months, so IME it is worth having a set bed time and then engineering your routine to work up to that. I would start the routine first as you may find that you don't need to do the settling thing later.

My nursery, and those of my friends, all seemed to be great at getting babies to nap, they have so much experience of this. Agree that it helps to get yourself into a routine (like SecretSlattern I'd say try the bedtime routine first) but I would also have a chat with the staff at the nursery and I am sure that they'll be able to help.