Anyone want to hold my hand? Started Jay Gordon sleep training tonight...

[alittleteapot]

Phew. Just spent two hours getting a VERY pissed off dd to sleep. She's 18 months and has always been fed to sleep, and wakes frequently in the evening and night. We co-sleep and decided not to sleep train until she was over one, we tried a couple of times before then but just didn't feel comfortable with it.

In September we had some really good success doing the Jay Gordon method, but only managed part one before an illness in the family disrupted the whole thing.

We've resolved (in a new year way) to crack it again - we may even move her into her own room once she's sleeping better).

It was really useful for me to share my progress here and could be useful for others to see how we do. Let me know if anyone's doing anything similar at the mo.

Last time we chose our seven hour period to start at 11pm. This time I've decided to start it anytime she wakes after first going to sleep. It's just too knackering to do sleep training in the middle of the night and I'm figuring once she's remembered how to fall asleep off the breast she'll be able to do it anytime. Right?

Here's the thread from the autumn for anyone that's interested www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=breast_and_bottle_feeding&threadid=602286-extended-bf-started-ni ght-weaning-last-night-feel-dreadful-buck#12278531

Oh, and here's a link to the Jay Gordon method: www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

Whoops, messed my links up there...

ght-weaning-last-night-feel-dreadful-buck#12278531

www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

Just woke for second time and went v well. So, so far tonight.

7pm bed - long feed to sleep - asleep 7.30.

8.15pm awake - fed for four minutes - I kind of enforced end of feed - put down awake. V angry, lots of crying but def angry rather than upset. Finally asleep 10.15pm (in the end I let her put hand down top which comforted her and helped her drop off.)

11.15pm awake - fed for longer ?8 mins - put down. She put her hand down my top and then pretty much crashed out straight away. Pretty good going.

(Don't know if anyone's reading this, but at v least useful for me! )

Hmm. 11.40 awake again! fed 5 mins. She was pretty much already asleep when i put her down but stayed asleep, well stirred slightly and put her hand down my top again and was asleep. I was able to remove her hand quickly without her waking.

Feels like this bit of it is going to go well (i.e. where you feed and put down awake) not so sure how it will go when not allowed to feed at all, but got three nights before that...

Have been doing a bit of Dr Jay-inspired sort-of-pre-night-weaning with DS 22 mth as my parents are here and I'm off work for 6 days so have an opportunity to sleep in. It has been going relatively well at night with rocking him off on my shoulder after bf on my bed ("no more milk in your bed") but today was the first nap I presided over and it was over an hour of hell before DH got him off. I just keep telling myself "it'll only take 3 days." Unfortunately last night after I got into bed at 2am knowing DS would wake around 6:30am, when he woke up in the night it was straight into bed with me, boob in the mouth all bloody night it felt. DS wakes when he's had a wee and gotten a woody (amongst others) which usually only happens once around 10pm and then dry until morning, but happened three times last night.

Alittleteapot, I am watching this very closely...my dd is nearly 18 months and I keep nearly getting ready to do this but then I chicken out. We co-sleep too.

A question, if you don't mind; re "put down awake". If I tried to do this, dd would be standing up on the bed in two shakes and there certainly wouldn't be an opportunity to pat her to sleep (unless I chased her around the bed whilst she screamed). Or, she'd climb off the bed and bang on the door screaming for her dada perhaps.

So what is one actually supposed to do with a furious toddler whilst denying them their usual feed to sleep? What do you do?

Is it acceptable to get their daddy to rock them to sleep instead? I'm not clear on this at all.

Hi, nice to hear from you both. It's hard isn't it ches but it's true it only takes three days or it did last time when we had to stop.

vic, it is acceptable to get their daddy to rock them to sleep instead - I've read on here of people who've had success that way. but I feel with us, dd has been so addicted to the boob as a sleep trigger, and has ALWAYS been put to bed by me, it would be cold turkey to far to handover to dp.

But in answer to your question, yes, dd was sitting up, standing, grabbing, stamping, even hitting if I tried to cuddle her. It was pretty horrible to be honest, but I did always feel she was very very annoyed but not distressed/abandoned etc. A couple of times I got up and walked around with her. Eventually she was too tired to keep sitting and standing and so stayed laying down, and then eventually crashed out.

I should add to my log that she woke again at 2pm and went back to sleep really easily. She woke again at 5 or 6 and I just let her go for it. Then she woke for the day around 8.30.

Not looking forward to tonight, but needs must... Good luck vic. in my view it can only get harder from this point on as they get ever more willful.

dd too wide awake to go to sleep tonight. i think she might be ready to drop her nap already - eek! - just what we need while we're trying to sort the nights out!

finally went to sleep at 10.30 after a billion stories. don't know what's up with her!

Woke 11.30. Fed 3 and a half mins. Put down awake. She fidgeted for a few seconds then cuddled up, put her hand down my top and fell asleep.

Woke 11.45. Jay G's rules say that you can feed again if they've been asleep, even if only for short time, but as it was SO short I tried sshing her back to sleep. She cried and asked for boob a bit, but I soon got her off (admittedly with her hand down my top!) but that's pretty good going, I'm pretty chuffed to have got back where we are so quickly.

Last night when I put him down after falling asleep on my shoulder instead of screaming for milk he told me about how he'd made a wee in the potty. I let him nurse every time he woke up at night (co-slept), but he didn't comfort suck afterwards; not a peep after I pulled him off.

Well done Ches!

Sorry, I really am using this as a log - hope it's at least a bit interesting for others!

12.30 woke again. I sshed her back to sleep again but then each time I tried to remove her hand from my top she stirred and cried again and i had to ssh again etc. Took half an hour in all but no feeding.

Tonight he was far more awake after nursing so was using delaying tactics. ("I want to eat too" at first bedtime attempt led to him having roast chicken with all of us -- major bedtime delay!) Second bedtime attempt he said he needed to wee so did a wee in the potty in the bedroom, then a poo in the toilet. On 3rd attempt at bedtime, we had a long chat and cuddle, then 3 min on my shoulder and into bed where he asked for milk about 5 times and passed out. :D When all the visitors leave I'll try to stop the nursing in the bedroom altogether. Am a bit of a wuss about the night weaning, though and am hoping it'll sort itself out if I can get him going to bed without nursing in the bedroom.

Tonight went to bed at 7.30 having not had a nap today (but got up quite late)

Woken by loud noise at 8.40. Fed 3 mins then sshed to sleep (hand down top) she then coughed herself awake again but i sshed her back to sleep without hand down top - hurrah!

evening anyone who's interested!

Tonight we began the second stage - where, according to Jay Gordon, I'm supposed to completely refuse to bfeed after the inital feed to get her to sleep for the night, but I am allowed to comfort her in whatever ways.

She went to sleep at just before 8 and woke at around 9.15. This is the first time I've ever refused breast and she was FURIOUS and for about fifteen minutes it was pretty tough, though again it was definitely anger rather than anything else. Then I rocked her and sshed her and stroked her and calmed her down and she was asleep within another fifteen mins, though I had to keep going to keep her so.

Not bad - I can see this will work and will be worth it and she will be fine. But it is tough, I can't deny it. I'm glad I'm doing it in the evening and not just the night because that at 2am would have been really hard.

11pm woke - cried for a bit but I quite quickly rocked her back off. Took ages to be able to disentangle myself without her waking. But very good, I'd say it's going well.

Good news alittleteapot. We're doing well too, just tackling bedtime. Last night was 90 min tear-free and hardly any requests to nurse; tonight was more like 40 min, also tear-free and few requests to nurse. Last night he woke quite early and nursed for a few min then got popped off the breast and put back into bed and went off without a squeak!

wow, ches, sounds like you're doing great! well done!

hmm. asleep 8pm. woke 9pm, settled reasonably quickly but woke soon after and took over an hour including some very angry screaming. this is hard but i still feel confident it'll work. she just needs me to be consistent. sometimes i feel too tired to be consistent, but i'm hanging in there...

Had another 40ish min bedtime tonight, but he v. quickly accepted it was not play time, just took a long time to drift off. Every time I thought he was asleep and opened the door to check his eyes he popped up and said "close the door, Mommy." Nap was a nightmare though.

I'm suddenly at the end of my tether - see new thread!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/breast_and_bottle_feeding/679062-Trying-to-night-wean-toddler-hard-Anyone-buck- me-up

Ches sounds like you're doing really well. Well done!

Last night was a mare! (Overtired as parents' flight was in the middle of nap time so he dropped off in the car, then wouldn't go back to sleep when we got home.) Tonight better, but still quite long.

i've taken your advice and slowed things down a bit. tonight i'm feeding again but just for three mins then putting her down awake. it's gone really well and i feel a lot more optimistic again!

Hurray! Had a v. long bedtime tonight but all smiles and no requests for milk. TBH it was totally my fault because I stimulated him by asking him about his day. His language skills have really progressed over the hols when my parents were here and he was telling me about all the kids at nursery he played with. Oh shit, only just fell asleep at 9pm. DH was in there with him for 45 min after I'd done about as long myself. I'll never get him up tomorrow.

alittleteapot - wondered how it was going - we're looking at starting Jay Gordon next month - have you had any success?