Feeling really down about dd's sleeping, lost all contact with my instincts

[NinaMyers]

DD is nearly 8mo and cosleeps most of the time, she's always bf to sleep. Everyone I've met recently have babies that fall asleep themselves and sleep all night in their cots.

Part of me thinks that it's perfectly reasonable for a baby to want to fall asleep with it's mum or dad around so it feels safe but I would also like to have some time with dp for a while in the evening. and she'll only sleep for an hour at a time at most before I go to bed. how can I get her to sleep for longer?

I don't know what my ideal situation would be. I don't know if I've done it all wrong. I do know that I feel like a terrible mother at the moment and I just want some time to myself.

ok this will not last forever
if it was going to last forever yes it would be a bit of a bugger
but meanwhile, your dd is still really young
you are doing fine by allowing her your company and comfort
ignore what 'everyone else is doing' - that's no way to make judgements about what is right or wrong
look at your own family and your own family's needs
if you need more time to yourself then work on that
if your dd needs comfort and company then bear that in mind in any new plans
it's about compromise at this stage and what you can put up with
sorry you feel terrible - you sound eminently sensible and nice!

Thanks Franny. I feel so confused just now, I'm not sure what my family's needs are anymore.

I have a feeling I'll spend most of tonight chanting 'this will not last forever'

I think I've got a case of post xmas blues

i agree with franny.
you haven't done it all wrong at all, you've listened to your daughters needs and you've responded to them, that's a lovely thing.

it really doesn't last forever, in fact, when you look back on it it's such a short time that they are soooo dependent on you. make the most of it, even if it does seem like a chore!

DD is now 2 years old and sleeps beautifully also she was BF to sleep for a long time and we co-slept until she was 10 month old. It was very hard to stop, but now she is a very confident, very happy little girl.
DS is 5 month old and has never slept through nor slept on his own .

Question is: are you happy with the situation now? if you can take it, then there's no problem!

well, you sound tired
so try to have a few early nights and think about it again
don't decide anything drastic on the basis of some post-christmassy angst!

but feeling like you need more time to yourself is understandable and can be achieved hopefully

Thank you all so much.

I think I want to stop co-sleeping in the evening before i go to bed cos she can crawl now. I'll see how we get on with that then have another think about things.

Hopefully tonight will be a bit better than last night

Good luck!