Self Settling

[elizabethbob]

My DS is 4 weeks old and he appears to be unable to self settle himself to sleep. I have to cuddle him to sleep and then put him down. It doesn't necessarily take long to cuddle him to sleep but it means that if he wakes himself up much sooner than he normally needs a feed, he cries and needs cuddling again.

The advice to put the baby down half awake or semi drowsy doesn't seem to work. He cries. At 4 weeks I'm not happy to let him cry as I'm never convinced it's not hunger or wind. Even if I stand by him to show him I'm there he cries and doesn't settle.

I've tried a dark room for his daytime naps. I've tried a musical mobile.

How do other people self settle? I'm worried he'll get into the habit of waking up thinking "how did I get here from being cuddled, I want another cuddle" and never self settle!

Thanks!

I did pick up put down. Every time she cried I picked her up, cuddled her long enough to calm her down and be happy, then put her back down, then she cried so I picked her back up again & cuddled her, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat. It took a while but after a few days you put her down in her cot, she stretched out and went to sleep. First time it was probably 20 times but it did improve very quickly, you can also pat them whilst cuddling them as you can then pat them in the cot. I'm not sure at 4 weeks that being able to see you counts for anything to them?

I agree do not let him cry it's his way of saying "where are you, I'm all alone, something's not right" type of thing.

I see pick up put down technique and showing them it's okay to not be cuddled to sleep sort of a transition from being in the womb to being out in the world IYSWIM. She was my 4th and I can't do slings (bad back) and I really couldn't cope with carrying & cuddling her all the time tbh. Also if she was being cuddled she was sleep for hour and hour and hours and not wake for feeds!

Oh gosh - 4 weeks is waaaaaaaay too early to worry about self settling. Most/many dc are months old before they can do this. Get yourself a sling if you want your hands free whilst he sleeps.

My dd2 had to be cuddled to sleep for the first 5 months of her life. She was always put down fast asleep. She was always held or in a sling. By about 6 months we could put her down when she was drowsy. She was completely different to dd1 who had to be left alone to sleep

Please don't worry about it yetand try to enjoy your cuddly baby. dd2 is now 3 and goes to bed really happily every night wide awake and has done for 2.5 years.

i came on here asking the same advice 4 weeks ago (DS is now 8wks) and have been covinced that he is still too tiny to worry about it. He's starting to now occasionally self-settle which I'm fine with - even if it's only one nap every few days.

The times he always self-settles are when I've managed to spot he's tired before he hits meltdown, otherwise it's impossible. Don't worry though - he won't get into bad habit this young nd even if you are worried about them (I beat myself up constantly about bad sleeping habits) you can break them very easily for months yet (the habits obviously)

Please don't worry about self-settling jst yet. Some babies seem to do it early, most don't. My DS is coming up to 4 months and we still rock/feed to sleep - it's not an upsetting process for him so why change it? He's getting to the stage now when he wakes up in the morning and from daytime naps, he has a look around and a little chat before calling out for me. So obviously isn't worried that he's in a different place to where he was when he fell asleep.

At night he almost always wakes up in a grumble, but that's because he's hungry not because he's wondering how he ended up in his cot.

When he was 4 weeks I worried about the same thing. I read about Pick Up/Put Down and tried it for one night. DS screamed the whole time and after about 80 PU/PDs I realised it wasn't working and it was a pointless exercise. It works for some, but not for others. Listen to your instincts, you know your baby better than anyone else. If you want you could start a little bedtime routine now to get him used to a ritual i.e. bath, cuddles, feed, sleep. Then when he's old enough he'll pick up on the cues and start to fall asleep really easily (like my DS does!).