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13 months old - now sleeping appallingly - should I resort to CC or just hope it sorts itself out?

38 replies

designerbaby · 23/12/2008 15:33

Hi all, sorry, already posted this in the behaviour section before realisng it should probably rather be here... doh - blame sleep deprivation?! Sorry also for the MAHOOSIVE post. TMI, undoubtedly...

My DD used to be a brilliant sleeper - slept through from 3 months - 8/9months with not a peep. However, since then things have been going steadily down hill, and at the moment she is waking hourly (or less) throughout the night, bar a stint of about 3 hours between about 2.30 and 5.30am.

I have gone back to work, and am struggling to cope with the sleep deprivation and seem to keep getting ill - largely because I am run down, I think...

What's making it worse is that I have this nagging feeling that it's all my own fault because I have somehow 'done' sleep wrongly with her from the get-go.

Now I'm at breaking point and am considering controlled crying or CIO or something because I simply cannot go on the way I am, even though it goes completely against my parenting style and the thought of it makes me feel physically ill.

I know, in my head there are probably many reasons why she may not be sleeping - for brevity I'll just bullet what i think are possibly some of the pertinent points:

  1. She has always been cuddled to sleep - even though I had the best of intentions about 'putting down awake' having read the necessary books, this simply didn't work for her even as a tiny newborn, so we cuddled, she liked it, I liked it, it worked, so we still do it. And I still like it...
  1. She's been teething off and on since about 8 months and seems to have a hard time of it - lots of runny noses, face rubbing, ear pulling, off food etc. I think she's probably teething badly at the moment, but I can't see any teeth near the surface so...
  1. She's just started to walk
  1. She still has a dummy for sleep times, but doesn't seem bothered when it falls out. However she does seem to need it to fall back to sleep again if she wakes, but this didn't seem to be a problem twixt 3 and 9 months, so...??
  1. When she wakes in the night I give it a few minutes (probably actually only a minute, in reality) to see if she'll settle herself ? which she sometimes does, but more often nowadays, doesn't... then I go in, she's usually standing up. Attempts to lie her back down without a cuddle result in fairly rapid hysteria.
  1. Tried Calpol/Calprofen for teething pain - helps for a couple of hours (tops) but that's it. Medised knocks her out for 4/5 hours but makes her impossible to settle when she does wake after this
  1. She sleeps in a grobag plus a blanket as her room is quite cold.
  1. She has a pretty good routine of regular nap time ? usually 12.45ish to 2.15ish although I often have to resettle her after 45 minutes or so ? and regular meal times and bedtime is about 7.30 when she usually goes down fairly easily. She wakes at about 6 am and then sleeps another hour in our bed.
  1. I went back to work at 9 months - she's been looked after by my mum, seems happy, but is a little clingy with me when I come home.

  2. After a difficult weaning period between 4 and 8 months she now eats well, but doesn't want much milk - 5 or so ounces morning and night with lots fo cheese/yoghurt etc in between. She's not interested in milk if she wakes - tried that.

So, after that lengthy ramble, do you think this is something which will sort itself in time (if I felt that, maybe I could get through it easier...) or do you, in all your various wisdom and experience think I need to take action?

I've read NCSS, and while I like the approach and tried it for a week, I got nowhere and now I just feel too damn tired to slog it out in this way. I want a quick fix, but am aware there probably isn't one other than CIO/CC.

Apart from this, I should mention she's a happy, smiley, energetic, engaging, charming little sweetheart - and I would hate to jeopardise that... it's just...

I neeeeeeed some sleeeeeeep [sob]

db
xx

OP posts:
ches · 05/01/2009 02:41

db it is a bit of a chicken-egg situation wrt night feeds, really. Most of the time around me he'd rather nurse than eat food, so yes, he definitely needs the calories, but then if he didn't get them he'd eat, wouldn't he? I plan to nurse for at least 2 yrs (now 6 weeks away) and as I work full-time, night weaning as a big performance isn't worth it. We are doing brilliantly (just done with night 3) of no more feeds in his bed (side-car style) although naps are HELL and the comfort nursing, which was my real problem, has pretty much stopped. Had a 90 min bedtime last night (no crying, lots of chatting) and a 40 min bedtime tonight (no crying, less chatting). It's amazing the places his mind goes and the people he talks about. I will be getting him into a very well established bedtime before tackling night weaning. Too much at once isn't going to help anyone.

designerbaby · 05/01/2009 17:35

Hi Ches, like I said, night weaning isn't a speciality of mine, (yeah, like I have ANY specialities... ) but I can see why you wouldn't want to tackle that one at the moment... I'm glad thugh that PU/PD hasn't been too much of a trauma for my DD - like I said, I always wanted bedtime to be a nice time, not a trauma...

I'm worried though that I've stuffed it up today... it's the first day we've been home for her lunchtime nap in a while (she's had nice long ones in her pram the past few days).

Tried to do PU/PD but she just went BANANAS in a way she never does at bedtime. Not crying, just COMPLETELY manic. She was really tired, having been up since 6.30, so I don't know what the problem was - I ended up cuddling her until 90% asleep then putting her down, she did a brief wriggle and passed out. Had a good nap afterwards though...

Worried she'll now want that at bedtime and we'll be back to square one with a 2 hour bedtime...

Don't know what to do about that though. Perhaps I need to black the room out, as maybe seeing everything around her made it more difficult.

Will let you know how tonight goes...

db
xx

OP posts:
2k9kids · 05/01/2009 17:53

Sorry to hijack but just wondering if PU/PD could work with my DS (10 months)???
He settles really easily and quickly when put in bed at night but wakes every hour or so all through the night!
Each time he wakes I have to go in, give him his dummy and stroke him, say shhhhh and he's asleep again within seconds.
If he doesnt settle instantly like that then I give him a bottle (he has one bottle a night, usually at 4 or 5am ish so is hungry by then after being in bed since 7pm)
Cant see how PU/PD will help us though - will it?? The only way I can see it being of any use is if I take the dummy away and then do PU/PD instead of the dummy - is that what you did? and will it make him sleep at night instead of constantly waking???????

designerbaby · 05/01/2009 18:07

It might 2k9kids... how does he go to sleep at bedtime? Is he fed, rocked, cuddled or does he go down awak and out himself to sleep...

We haven't bitten the bullet on the dummy thing tbh. Doesn't appear to be that much of a problem... yet... I give it to her when she wakes, but seeing as she still has't and has stopped frequent waking I dn't think it was that which was causing our problems... but it might be for you.

Trick is to work out why he's waking, I would suggest and tailor the soution to fit the problem.

OUr DD just woke because she prefered sleeping in mummy's arms to sleeping in her cot IMHO...

db
xx

OP posts:
designerbaby · 05/01/2009 18:08

More typos anyone?

Meant to say 'but seeing as she still has it and has stopped frequent waking'

OP posts:
2k9kids · 05/01/2009 18:12

He goes in bed wide awake and gets himself to sleep quietly with his dummy and his teddy blanket. I have to go in on the odd ocassion if he coughs and drops his dummy but usually he is fine.
In the night he is fine soon as he gets the dummy back (unless he's hungry!) so I guess its the dummy....
I've been putting it off and putting it off because I'm just too tired to think about taking the dummy away really and he does have odd nights where he'll only wake once and give me hope but then he goes back to waking 10 times in one night and I despair again!!!

ches · 05/01/2009 18:38

db I think it's NCSS that says that you only work on nights and you have a "whatever works" attitude to naps. Tried letting him nurse to sleep on my bed this afternoon but he wouldn't bloody let go of the nipple and now an hour and fifteen min later he's playing in there quietly in his bed with my mum. I hope he drops off.

designerbaby · 06/01/2009 14:25

NOt so sure Ches,
We were up at 10.30, 1am, 3am, 4am, and fially gave up at 5am and hauled her into bed with us.

Course it could be totally unrelated...

2k9kids I think PU/PD could work on dummy removela but it's a while since I read the book. You cold ahve a look on the babywhisperer website to find out though...

db
xx

[tired again emoticon]

OP posts:
ches · 06/01/2009 18:01

Well we had a good bedtime and then he only woke up twice in the night. My parents are leaving this afternoon so he's already an hour past nap time and we still have to go to the airport.

designerbaby · 07/01/2009 17:28

OK so slightly better last night - up at 1.30 and 4.00 and then in with us at 5... each of the first settles only took 15 minutes or so, though, so that's better.

She's started at nursery this week as well ? and the said today it often plays havoc with their sleeping at night until their settled, so it could be that, I guess.

She does a longer day tomorrow, so I'm expecting it all to go pear shaped as she doesn't seem to want to eat or nap there at the moment. I expect and exhausted and hungry baby all day will not make for a great night-time's sleep...

Oh well... I guess it'll all settle down eventually... and hopefully before she hits puberty...

db
xx

p.s. Ches, did your messed up day affect you night last night in the end?

OP posts:
ches · 08/01/2009 02:25

Oh God. An hour of screaming and DH was out as it was his friend's birthday and had gone with him to watch ice hockey (special treat for his friend). He woke at 10:30 hysterical, obviously in a bad dream/night terror having done a wee and it took a few minutes to rouse him enough that he stopped struggling so I could change his nappy. Very easy nurse/into bed, but then he woke up at around 1am and every half hour it seemed after that.

Tonight has been better after his first day back at nursery. He accepted quickly that it was bedtime and did not ask to nurse once after the boobs were dry , but is taking a while to drop off. He asked to wee (stalling tactic) and I said to lie down while I fetch the potty. DH is in with him so I put the potty down and slipped out. Previous attempts to leave led to screaming. I heard him call after me a minute ago but I just said "hmm hmm" and he's fine. DH does bedtime with his laptop whereas I have to be hands-on, so this is bliss.

designerbaby · 09/01/2009 19:49

Oh dear Ches,but it does sound like things are improving gradually. DD has been having her induction at nursery this week (which is another trauma in and of itself and on another thread...) but obviously as a result has had VERY little daytime sleep.

She's been going down like a STONE with barely a peep just after 7pm. Night before last we had just the one waking at 1.30am - but it was an hour and half session which was a bit of a mare. However last night (following an even longer stint of nursery time) she only woke once (again at 1.30) but was back asleep inside 15 minutes.

I've given up the fight on daytime naps though - they're a battle I can't face fighting right now - and I gotta get my cuddles with my wee girl somehow They're having to cuddle her down at nursery anyway so...

Half the time she's napping in her pram anyway - in fact she seems to nap best in her pram...

So it's all pretty positive on the sleep front here, anyway... Now just got to try and get her to EAT something while at nursery .

Just when you feel like you're winning on one front, along comes summat else, eh?

Let me know how you're getting on, folks...

db
xx

OP posts:
ches · 10/01/2009 14:56

We had a wonderful bedtime last night. He slept 8-12, then couldn't fall back into deep sleep so came in with me and snacked until morning, but didn't get up until 8.

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