the 'back to bed' technique - does it work? I'm desperate!

[olivo]

have been reading the supernanny back to bed thing, where you repeatedly take your chid back to bed without talking to them after the first couple of times. tried it last night, the first night of putting dd (2.4) into oa big bed, and by 5.30, gave up and got into bed with her.
if i can hear some success stories, i will really give it a go tonight, without caving in. i'm very early days pg but exhausted already, so am desperate to get some sleep.

please share your success stories!

Depends upon how determined you are compared to how determined your toddler is. TBH after 3 hours and 127 times I gave up and she fell asleep on the sofa after watching crappy tv for 15 mins, much easier for all imo.

Seashells I normally leave my 2 lo's to fall asleep on the couch too!

My HV thinks this is a disaster though

She has suggested using this technique and is adamant it works. Am planning on trying it after Christmas when dd2 gets her new bed - will let you know how I get on (NOT looking forward to it btw).

hmmm, i'm not yet convinced
she sells - 127? aaagh! i think i made it to about 36 before i said - 'be quiet and move over so i can get in@ . she is really stubborn determined , just like her mum dad
hoochie - can you remembebr how many nights it took?

I found it rather too much effort to be honest, I did do it with DD1 and it did work, but like SheSells' experience it can take time...... With DD2 I put a stair gate over the door and left her to it (she went into a bed at 19 months as climbing out of the cot). I found this much better, in the first month she'd be in and out of bed like a jack in the box, often for an hour or more (a bit maddening, but I just ignored it or called out to her occasionally to get into bed) but generally she was quite happy, she'd potter around and often fall asleep on the floor (I'd pick her up and pop her into bed). After the first month or so, the novelty wore off. Now (22 months, so 3 months on) she'll get out of bed to get some books or something, but then get back in and is usually asleep within 20 mins or so of being put to bed and I haven't found her on the floor for ages!

Tried it with dd2 the other night, she thought it was great fun as she ran around the room laughing at me , after the 20th time i gave up and she fell asleep on the sofa

Would like to know how to get DD to bed without complete hysterics and throwing up. She previously went to bed like a dream but had a cough (now better) and is being a nightmare.

Dd1 used to throw up, i had to sit in the room with her mooving closser to the door every few minutes, she was a night-mare child

I have to agree and say that we tried it with DS (or rather I did and DH just carried on sleeping !!
It really does take determination tho as some nights I would carry it through and eventually DS would stay in his bed - after about 20-30 returns back to bed BUT I have to say that on other nights when I was sooo knackered I just let him get into our bed.
I justify it to myself at the moment by saying that at least he knows it is Mummy and Daddy's bed and he will go to his bed initially, it's just if he wakes up in the early hours that he wants to come in - bit of a vicious circle we've created but I suspect that if he starts referring to our bed as HIS bed then I'll take drastic action!!
I'm not convinced this is a foolproof technique tho but I'm not 100% committed which is prob half the problem!! Enlist the help of your DP/DH you can't do it on your own, it really is exhausting.

Hi this technique really works but you have to grit your teeth and see it through to the end. I went from lying next to my dd every night to her sleeping through no problem and never looked back. Admittably she was 4 when we caved in and did it.

Anyway I armed myself with ahuge glass of wine and took a slug inbetween every time I took her back. It must have been hundreds of times the first night but the second night was only 20 minutes. And then that was it.

And you should have seen her tantrums that first night. Hionestly I hate crying and I hate my dd being anxious and upset but she was so clearly cross I ended up laughing which pissed her off even more but broke the tension for me. She kept shouting "mummy why are you doing this, you ar making me cry" and various other forms of guilt inducing blackmail. But I stuck to my guns and I actually think it helped her anxiety tremendously.

The only thing I will say don't do this half heartedly, it is too difficult and exhausting for that and IMO not fair on the child as it sends confusing messages and puts them through it without end results iyswim.

I will keep watching in case you want any support.

it does work. if you decide to do it though don't give up as all of the hard work you'v eput in will have been in vain and your dd 'wins'. then you have to go through the whole upset, crying etc again and it gets harder as they think you'll give in because you have done in the past.

it's bloody hard work though so as haribo said get help from your OH.

DS cried, screamed and got really cross with us when we did it after he started waking in the middle of the night. he sleeps through fine now (although he's been waking early recently because of christmas - he's been warned as he went to bed tonight that he has to stay in bed tomorrow until either me or DH say it is ok for him to get up - if not it's straight back to bed).

thanks for yuor experiences. by night 4 it was getting worse - twenty or so times to get to bed in the first place, then up to 40 returns a couple of times during the night - and still waking at 5.30a.m
last night she asked to go to bed in her cot and we agreed - she didnt settle initially but then we di get a 5hour stretch of sleep. tonight she asked for the cot again so we let her - she has settled no bother so hopefully we will all get some sleep. we're going to try again with the bed in a month or two, or when she asks; maybe at feb half term as i will be off during the day and can catch up with some sleep while dd is at nursery!

As I said my dd was older than yours so I was able to discuss and to some extent reason with her first. I don't know if that helped.

I think the early wakings are a nightmare because essentially the child is up and ready for the day even though we are not. I am not sure anything can be accomplished at that time in the morning. But it does sound like the rest of the night is getting a bit better.

I once saw an episode of House of Tiny Tearaways with a 4 year old that had slept in her mum & dad's bed every night since 10mo and her mum had got out to make room!

1st night - 463 times

2nd night - 36 times

3rd night - 6 times

4th night on - nada.

It is just doing that first night that is the killer, I would imagine.

i remember this with DD1 - it does work!

night one - we ended up doing shifts outside her room, everytime she got up just said "it's bedtime" and put her back to bed. no other conversation, just "it's bedtime".

it was hundreds of "rapid returns" (as we call them). ended up taking turns to have dinner and a BIG glass of wine.

night two - a bit better, just a few returns (10?) but she fell asleep quickly.

night three - disaster. we didn't camp out upstairs and she was up and down like a yoyo. in the end we tied her door shut with a dressing gown belt so she could open it but couldn't get out. she freaked out so we agreed to untie it but only if she stayed in bed. that worked a treat. guess it is the same idea as a stairgate.

after that i don't remember it being a big issue. she was only about 18m old though.

I think we will try it again when she is a bit bigger and we can maybe bribe explain to her. last night she was in her cot again and slept right through till 6, so at the moment, i can't ask for more! she's also in the process of dropping her nap at the moment, so i guess lots of things are happening regarding sleep.