6 year old wont stay in his own bed PLEASE HELP

[22nicnak]

I am looking for some advice for my sister she is pulling her hair out with her 6 year old ds and i dont know what to tell her.

He has never been a very good sleeper but she always assumed he would grow out of it and settle down eventually, going to bed isn't a huge problem although after being tucked in at 7.30pm he tends to 'need the toilet' or 'need a drink' before eventually nodding off. then he wakes at 10pm needing tucked in again, at 2pm he wants into mums bed and at 5.30am the games a boogie and he's up!

my poor sister also has an 18 month old and is 20 weeks pg with #3 and is shattered from spending the night putting him back to bed she is also worried about his school work as he isn't getting enough sleep.

can anyone help?

He is old enough at that age to understand basic consequences.He is doing it because your sister is letting him.

If my 6 yo DD did that (other than if she was unwell) then the next day she would come home, have her dinner and then go straight to bed "as she had not had enough sleep the night before". No tv, no games, straight to bed.
He is only doing it because he can without any consequence.

I'm inclined to agree. If it were me, I'd be fine with the 10pm tuck-in, and probably be fine with the 2am co-sleeping, but the 5:30 up I'd be sorry, son, into your own bed and you can read a book until 7am.

7.30 is quite early for bed for a 6 yr old. Mine didn't go to bed before 8.30 although I understand some see that as quite late. However, the average 6 yr old needs 10 to 11.5 hrs sleep a night and if he is like my DS1 he could be at the low end of that, which is why he is up at 5.30am.

I would put him to bed a little bit later and settle him and then make it very clear that I wouldn't be going back. If he needs the toilet he can go by himself. He can take a glass of water to bed with him but no matter how much he calls out I wouldn't go back. If he wants to look at a book then let him look but leave him to it.

A star chart would also be useful - he is old enough to reason with and understand why the chart is needed and what he can and can't do. Keep the requirements small to begin with, i.e. if he stays in his bed for one night he can have X. Then if he manages that he can have Y after getting 3 stars and build it up until he was staying in his bed most nights.

If he gets out of bed during the night I would walk him straight back. My DS1 kept getting up and coming into our bed for a while at 5 or 6 but we sent him straight back (if we even noticed he climbed in). That coupled with star chart worked although it is not a quick solution (we are talking weeks but not months).

I would also leave him to it if he gets up at 5.30am. He is old enough to play by himself in his room or read a book. She should refuse to get up with him.

I'm afraid there is no easy way out of this for your Dsis. She will have to feel the pain before she gets the gain but consistency and being firm are vital and will work in the end.