4.5 month baby, up every hour, help help help

[FestiveGardenia]

I didn't know whether to put this in Sleep, Parenting, Breastfeeding or Mental Health at this stage!

My beautiful, smiling, crowing, chirping, cuddly baby has got into a terrible sleeping rhythm and I am desperate for any advice as to how to change it.

He is exclusively bf and at the moment goes to sleep for the evening at about 8.30, give or take half an hour depending on the day. He usually sleeps till 2, then wakes at 3, 4, 5 and 6 and I have to get up at 6.30 to get ready for the day (I have DS1 at school with a bit of a journey so we are up early).

Early on, at about 2 months, he slept through the night for about 2 weeks, but this pattern has been developing since then. I try to put him back in his cot at 2am but sometimes fall asleep feeding him in bed - he definitely sleeps worse in our bed, unlike his brother, who co-slept brilliantly. The last week he won't go back in his cot and goes back to sleep only by sucking or by lying on DP's chest.

Help help help we are at our wits' end. People say oh give him solids he'll sleep through (but he's only 4 months), or oh give him water he's thirsty (I thought bf was sufficient for food & drink), or let him cry himself back to sleep (I couldn't do that).

Help .

you poor thing. i had this with my dd, who is now just 5mo {22weeks]. she is my 2nd too, and i was happy to co-sleep, go with the flow etc.
but, things continued getting worse, she goes to bed at 6ish and the wakings began getting earlier and earlier then continuing just as you describe! last sunday night was the final straw. not only waking me every hour, but rooting for feed, then straining on breast, windy bottom, unhappy herself. it just wasn't making either of us happy.

on monday i began following baby whisperer with total strictness-not pick up put down, but only because this didn't soothe her, she just fought and writhed if i picked her up. what i do is sit on floor by her {she is in amby nest, so about knee height and i can do this}and put my hand on her tummy. no eye contact, just say 'mummy's with you. you are going to sleep because it is/is still bedtime'every 3-5mins or so.

on monday for both day and night sleeps there were some periods of 20-35 mins of her screaming, beating mattress, back arching etc. then sleep. on tues, settled to sleep by herself. 20 mins scream again when resettling for lunch nap. at 10.30pm as soon as i got to her, she went quiet, held my finger and straight back to sleep.

now-she naps 1.5 hours in am, 2.5-3 hours at lunch, both in cot. sleeping 6-6 at night. 4 very big breastfeeds in day, same old happy alert self. she is going to sleep happily alone, does need some resettling sometimes for instance last night i needed to put my hand on her for 7 mins at 3 am.

i am sure that we will have some up and downs-but this has been much less painful than in my wildest dreams. had decided to stick to it for 2 weeks no matter what, am still waiting for something to go wrong to be honest!

i am still waking every hour.....

Some people will say solids help, but my dd got worse when I weaned her. When they hit 4 months they have a great big developmental spurt as well as a growth spurt, so it's really common for them to stop sleeping so well. I think it's really normal at that age. I can't co-sleep with my dd as neither of us sleeps, so I've been working on breaking the association with suckling, so not feeding her to sleep in other words and patting her instead. In the book 'the No Cry Sleep solution' it suggests how you can do this by gently pulling them off the breast when they get to the fluttery stage of feeding and keeping doing this til they get the message and stop rooting. It's hard work but it's worked a bit. When I started she was waking every 1.5 hours and now she's going for 4. My dd is 7 months.

Oh thank you for responding. I didn't know where to put the post and thought it might sit gathering dust.

I've heard of the Baby Whisperer but not read her book/s but will definitely get off to a bookshop today. We are due to go for a walk this afternoon so will make the bookshop our destination.

Raspberry I have tried doing that, so that he is off the breast when he goes to sleep - by day he is fine, he will go to sleep without feeding, it's just at night. And he gets so upset at night if I am the one to break the latch that I can't bear it. I will have a look at your book too, though our local bookshop is not very well stocked. I will get to a better one later in the week.

Thanks so much. Any further advice greatly appreciated.