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Original poster

CAST YOUR VOTE FOR THE BEST SLEEP TECHNIQUE...

22 replies

breakfastinbed · 14/12/2008 14:44

I'm desperate to improve my 13m old DS's hideous nights. I've tried following my best maternal instincts and discovered they must be up the spout because things just get worse and worse. I've also tried bits and pieces of various sleep training methods and worry that i've just confused matters.

Now i want to try one last thing and really commit to it. But which one? The threads in this topic talk a lot about:

  • No Cry Sleep Solution
  • Healthy Sleep, Healthy Child
  • Controlled Crying
  • Ferberizing
  • PUPD
  • etc, etc
Can you tell me which of these or any others worked best for you? I'd love to know if there is a clear favourite.

Ta

OP posts:
StarlightWonderStarlightBright · 14/12/2008 14:46

You left out 'leaving them to sort themselves out'.

Original poster
breakfastinbed · 14/12/2008 14:54

Hi Starlight, yeah i know. -That's coz i'm a wimp.

OP posts:
CharCharGaboriaInExcelsisDeo · 14/12/2008 14:58

Afraid I'm in Starlight's group. It involves doing whatever you can to maximise sleep for everyone, whether this means cosleeping, napping in the day, etc. I've done this with DD. She was terrible at 13 months due to teething, MMR and general illness. She's starting to settle down now at 16 months

Original poster
breakfastinbed · 14/12/2008 15:03

I thought Starlight meant leaving to cry CharChar. I am currently co-sleeping and BFing all night. (However DS rarely drops off while feeding, but spends several hours of each night hurling himself around my bed crying furiously. I have tried every kind of soothing i can think of and nothing will stop him until exhaustion finally wins, but this can take hours.)

OP posts:
CharCharGaboriaInExcelsisDeo · 14/12/2008 15:05

I think Starlight meant what I meant, but not sure obv It could just be a phase, is he starting to walk or anything? That unsettled DD's sleep for a little while but she settled down once she was used to it.

Original poster
breakfastinbed · 14/12/2008 15:07

He's been walking for a couple of months. He's extremely active all day.

OP posts:
Original poster
breakfastinbed · 14/12/2008 15:08

Sadly not a phase i fear: Been bad since day one.

OP posts:
CharCharGaboriaInExcelsisDeo · 14/12/2008 16:56

DD's also v active, isn't it annoying when it just doesn't wear them out? If I moved around as much as DD does I'd be conked out by about 5pm! DD's also been a bad sleeper since early on, but she was particularly bad at your ds's age. I have heard good things about the ncss, but I have no personal experience.

StarlightWonderStarlightBright · 14/12/2008 17:31

Sorry for being unclear. Meant what charchar meant.

Does he come off the breast himself at night or does he just slow down and you decide he's had enough?

Original poster
breakfastinbed · 14/12/2008 20:44

He does this ridiculous breast-dummy-breast-dummy-breast-dummy thing for ages and then finally settles onto the breast. Then i think it's sometimes him and sometimes me who ends it. -I'm so knackered it's a bit of a blur to be honest...

OP posts:
Original poster
breakfastinbed · 14/12/2008 23:08

I know you are all exhausted, but just a one word answer would do... Please?

OP posts:
DontEatYellowSnowItsWeebump · 14/12/2008 23:21

I went for controlled crying/ferberizing at 3 months. It took over a week, tbh, but we stuck to it and it worked a treat. LO settles in for the night in her own cot ever since. I'd be lying if I said she sleeps thru all the time, but if she cries out, something's up so we go in to her and reassure her.
We attempted PU/PD, but it was just a palaver that stressed everyone out. At that early stage (3 months) DD would cry in our arms any way. She just needed to sleep and would cry herself to sleep whether in our arms or not, so CC worked for us.

IAteTheWholeSelectionBox · 14/12/2008 23:25

breakfastinbed - seriously, he's probably teething. I have one just like that who's now 16 months and although we still get a few nights like this every once in a while it's getting easier each time.

Of all those I'd go with the NCSS first though. It's flexible and gentle and pick 'n' mix.

Just when desperation sets in he seems to settle down for a bit and I renege on my threats to do all sorts of wild sleep training stuff. I know in my heart it wouldn't work anyway cos I'm miserable when he cries.

Lots of sympathy coming your way though - it's awful. FWIW the thrashy stages seem to dwindle once the molars cut

jafina · 15/12/2008 12:03

we are doing ncss as much as possible as I can't bear cc, but tbh dd has been a poor sleeper for the past few months but now that her first 4 molars have cut right through she is getting much better (touch a forest). I dosed her up on Calpol when it got really bad and that seemed to help. Also DH and I used to take turns, which weirdly worked even though I would bf her once or twice in the night and he (obviously ) wouldn't. She seems to accept that.

things that seemed to help:

  • no daytime sleep after 3pm
  • down in bed awake at around 7.30pm
  • warm cosy sleeping bag
  • night light in hallway
  • co-sleeping when it got really bad
  • repeating "time to sleep - shhhh" ad nauseam from mattress on floor beside her cot!!
jafina · 15/12/2008 12:04

oops - forgot to mention dd is almost 15mo

Umlellala · 15/12/2008 12:20

whatever-is-easiest-and-gets-us-most-sleep technique (mostly co-sleeping for us at the mo )

Original poster
breakfastinbed · 16/12/2008 00:05

Thanks all and thanks for kind words Jafina. In the absence of sleep, a bit of understanding from a mum who knows can go a long way...

OP posts:
Bienchen · 16/12/2008 00:17

Still awake then?

drjane · 16/12/2008 13:54

breakfastinbed - I probably won't be popular for saying it, but controlled crying would probably be very effective for your situation. I've done it with my DS a couple of times when we've got into a frequent waking/feeding situation and it's very effective.

You'd probably have to put him in his own room though, not sure if you're set up for that? It also takes a bit longer in older childern (4-5 nights when we did it with my DS at 13 months).

chloemegjess · 16/12/2008 13:59

I was also going to suggest putting him in his own room? I am all for Co-sleeping IF it is working for everybody, but it obviously isn't at the moment.

Umlellala · 16/12/2008 19:29

breakfastinbed at 13mths, I prepped dd and warned her she wasn't going to have milk at night just water. we co-slept and if she woke I offered water (in TT cup or bottle can't remember ), she did grizzle but if it got too bad I gave in. It worked reasonably well. We then put her in a bed at 14mths which improved things considerably.

Having said that, she is 2.6 now and pretty much still always wakes once or twice a night. So she is in our bed (and baby ds too) for an easy life. Tbh I love it (blush])

giantsantasacks · 16/12/2008 20:05

I think jafina has some good tips there - I dont think it matters which method you use as long as you do it consistently and dont give up. I also think that daytime naps are really important and it should be about two hours long - sometimes they are just too tired by the evening to sleep properly.

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