Any suggestions please to help dd 14months to settle for naps and bedtime

[zulubump]

Any ideas would be most welcome. Dd has never been a great one for settling herself to sleep. I have tried on and off leaving her when she's tired and just popping in and out to soothe her and rub her back, but 99% of the time she needs cuddling and rocking to get to sleep. I don't resent it much as long as it's only a few mins (quite nice actually!). But recently it's taking longer and longer (and she's getting heavier and heavier!).

This last week or so it's often been a 45 min to 1 hour palaver of me giving a bit of initial cuddling, leaving her for a bit, going back in etc. She only seems to get to the point where she can nod off if she has a good old cry first and then I calm her down again. It's all quite stressful and I wish I could help her find a better way. She just can't seem to wind herself down.

Is she still on two naps a day? Is it possible she is trying to cut one? Only thought of it as is happening to me and apparently one of the tell-tale signs is them taking a lot longer/harder to go off.

Hi TheGabster, thanks for the thought, but have recently gone to one nap. So she is pretty tired after her lunch usually, but just can't seem to wind down for sleep. If we go out anywhere in the morning she'll often nod off on the way home in the buggy or the car. If that happens I sometimes try just putting her straight to bed, but for some reason she doesn't sleep long that way and then there is no time to fit in another nap later in the day. So I try to keep her awake until after her lunch if possible.

Is it possible she is just having trouble coping with the one nap, and is over-tired and so finding it hard to settle? Not saying I know how to fix it you understand, but just know my LO is certainly mucking me around in the same way at the moment. We get days where he still needs the nap and if he doesn't get it, he is murder to settle, or only sleeps for 45m at lunch .

Maybe some clever bod will be along in a sec to help us out.

Thanks yeah, you could be right. If only we could be mind-readers huh? Seems like somedays I try so hard to time things right for her, but doesn't always work out of course. I also think there could be a bit of teething involved in my dd's troubles. How are you helping your LO get off to sleep Gabster?

God, an hour to settle for a nap?! Poor you! I don't have any magic solutions, just thought that maybe you need to decide on what your winding down routine is going to be & then stick to it for long enough that she gets used to it? With my dd (now nearly 18 months), at nap times I do a shorter version of the bedtime routine: turn lights off in her room, put her in her sleeping bag, give her some milk, sing a lullaby & put her in her cot, then stroke her back until she drops off. I don't leave her room until she's asleep, but as you say, as long as it's only a few minutes it's not really a problem. I don't think it really matters what you do, but it's probably worth being absolutely consistent about it so that she gets the message that it's time for sleep. Might take a week or so to get her into a new routine, but it'd be worth it if it works! My dd is always too tired for stories at nap time, but you could incorporate some if she has trouble winding down, perhaps?

Know EXACTLY what you mean Zulu. When he needs assistance DS is patted on my shoulder or just held and rocked on shoulder, but we are having some success with self-settling, using NCSS. I have't weighed DS for ages but he was over 23lb 6 weeks ago and I have a bad back so I do know how you feel. He used to self settle ..... ahh, those were the days. Then came the teeth ....

We refused the morning nap today as he did a 12hr stint last night (has been cutting back on night sleep [scary emoticon]) and had to get some Xmas shopping done in town (he's not keen on sleeping in the pushchair out and about), but has now woken up after only 1hr10 of lunch nap so have just managed to pat him back to sleep - phew.

Yes, Gabster my dd self-settled for a brief and wonderful period of her life before teeth came along.I thought she'd get back into it but she never has. I do try to do pretty much a similar thing each nap-time. We go to her room, read a couple of stories if she's not too tired. Then turn out lights and close curtains and then it's cuddling and some lullabies. So she must know what she is supposed to do next but just doesn't want to. Or can't. I'm never sure how long to persist until giving in on the nap altogether though. Oh well, hoping it's a phase. A friend of mine said her Lo went through a similar thing when dropping the morning nap.

Well its really good to know that the self-settle failure might be due to other things. DS has actually self-settled well tonight so I can't complain. It's just so unreliable. [humph]

Have now decided that I pat and cuddle him for 5m and then put him in the cot nicely, but awake, and then leave the room (unless he is upset). If he hasn't dropped off within 10m I go back in and assist. At least then I give him a chance to remember and this seems to be working out well as then he doesn't take too long to go down and miss that all important window (unless of course stupid mummy has already screwed it up on that score).

Have you tried giving DD a morning nap every third day or something, to see if it helps?

Hi there just thought I'd post an update. Decided not to stress about the whole thing today. I went out last night and dh had an awful time trying to get dd to sleep. She didn't go off to sleep until nearly 9pm! So she was tired today. We went to and Xmas party at a local toddler group in the morning where she played lots and ate lots. She was out like a light in the buggy on the way home. So I put her straight to bed when we got back. She slept for about an hour. Then was up for the rest of the day and then asleep not long after 7pm. Again little trouble settling. I think she actually needs a lot less sleep in the day now than she did just a month or so ago (worse luck). Think she needs to be dog-tired before she can easily nod off. Well, we'll see how it goes in the next few days.

Hope your ds is doing OK and not causing too much trouble! Good luck with the self-settling stuff. X

Hey zulu - that sounds good. Hope you have cracked it. Will keep my fingers' crossed for you.

DS is fine - we have just cut tooth no.3 so that explains the cr&ppy night sleep .