Sleep training - what do you do when they really need you?!

[Tinkjon]

DS (nearly 15 months) has always been rubbish at sleeping but last week we started what we thought was a 'kind' method of sleep training (going in and comforting then leaving him for no more than a minute, rinse, lather, repeat). It was working really well and he was getting himself back to sleep within about 10 or 15 minutes each time. But this evening he has been waking and screaming every half hour or so - we found that he had a very sore bot, so I guess he's in pain with that. So what do I do now? I obviously can't leave him to cry if he's in pain - do I do whatever I can to get him to sleep, whether that's rocking him, letting him sleep in with me etc. and then 're-train' him when he's better? But it'd be so annoying to undo the good work we did all last week by letting him sleep in with us again. So what do you do when this sort of thing happens? How do you comfort them whilst still trying to train them?

Sleep training is not recommended when there are other upsets -- cold, nappy rash, teething (I bet you're in the midst of molar hell - good luck!), developmental upheaval, lifestyle upheaval e.g. starting nursery...

I know, ches, so I mean what do you do about it? Just stop and do whatever it takes, then go back to it once they are better? And how do you know when there really are other upsets?! This is what I find hardest - how do I know whether he's just yelling because he's angry at having to go to sleep by himself, or whether he's in pain from his teeth? If you can see a tooth emerging that's one thing but a lot of the teething problems are before the tooth emergees. And DS has never been a dribbler or a red-cheeker or any other teething signs.

yes but he has a sore bottom which is a good sign that some more teeth are on the way.

my theory is to try and address the pain issue before it gets to bad to wake up screaming but my Ds is the worst teether ever so we still get this. at these times i just do whatever i can and usually i try and get the teething gel on quick then a couple of minutes of rocking and cuddling and kissing while it soakes in and then he gets a bottle for comfort. if i am lucky he is back to sleep in 5-10mins.

i just try to minimise discomfort and time spent awake during these times. its not the time to try out any sleep training methods imo.

I would do whatever, have him in with you and resume after his bottom is better, it is really frustrating, but hopefully he'll remember how to self settle and it won't take long to get back to pre-nappy rash sleep.

Have you come across Metanium cream? It's amazing stuff - sorts out sore bottoms overnight! I know what you mean about not knowing whether they're teething or not - in our experience with dd (now nearly 18 months) the really bad signs of teething (waking screaming in agony in the night etc) have no correlation whatsoever with any signs of the teeth actually coming through.

But I'd second what everyone else says & not worry about the sleep training until you're confident he's okay. Maybe you could try alternative methods of soothing him back to sleep without picking him up - stroking his back, sitting next to his cot, lullabies, that sort of thing.

I've had the occasional awful guilt-inducing night when I've left my dd to wail for a few minutes assuming she'll drop off again on her own (which she usually does), only to go in & find that her nappy has leaked & she's lying in a wet patch. Bad mother.

your posts tinkjon are why I just cannot understand, abide, 'get with' sleep training

I agree with you, you can't know
you aren't a mind reader or a tooth predictor

Trinity, not sure I understand what you mean. Do you mean that you don't like the idea of sleep training in case there is something wrong? I think you may have the wrong idea about what I mean by sleep training - I know there are different methods but all I am doing is leaving him by himself for a maximum of 30 seconds/1 minute each time - I truly believe that this is doing him no harm whatsoever. He has been a miserable little git, all day every day for the last 14 months, because he's had no sleep. After having done this for a week he is sleeping and is therefore rested and happy during the day. I could never leave him to cry, I think that does all sorts of harm, but leaving a baby who is old enough to understand "I'll be back soon" for 30 seconds or so is completely fine in my book!
I'm doing this for his benefit, not mine. I'm used to not sleeping, it's ok for me, but it's not ok for him.